#(i wanted to write 2022 cause i forgot how time works)

[courfee]

yes i used that dean scene as a reference, sue me

[rc-catalog]

At long last, we finally commence the Creator of the Month event! Without further ado, we present to you a short interview with @webanglikethat, March COTM winner, from which you can get to know her better. Congratulations JB!

Enjoy!

INTRODUCE YOURSELF

hi everyone!! I’m really exicited to be the first creator to be represented 🥺 you may call me JB and I’m 19 years old! I go by she/him pronouns and I’m a desi italian 🫶🏽

WHEN DID YOU JOIN ROMANCE CLUB?

2022-11-04, which I could’ve never guessed! I thought I’d started playing mid 2023. according to my gallery, my first stories were chasing you and heaven’s secret! the fandom I joined way later, and that’s how I never understood why sometimes my choices were ‘free’ aka Diamond Rush – I thought I bypassed something 😭 seeing the reddit fandom explained a lot haha ! 

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN CREATING?

for the RC fandom specifically, I started creating in May 2024 when I made a Ram edit! before that, I was mostly posting about RC on my Instagram stories and editing them, sharing my thoughts, and occasionally ranting about the characters. I actually had another Tumblr account before this one, but it was focused on different fandoms. at some point, I stumbled across the RC Tumblr community, and at first, I just lurked, reading posts and getting a feel for the fandom. I loved seeing everyone’s discussions, edits, and writing, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to jump in just yet. eventually, though, I decided I wanted to be part of it, so I made this account for two reasons: first, to fully immerse myself back into Tumblr (aka I forgot the password to the OG account lmao / but I did remember it!), and second, to actually engage with the RC fandom rather than just observing from the sidelines.

in general, probably since I was 11-12 for the kpop fandom, which I’m still actively doing !! my passion for creating just keeps evolving and it’s crazy how the things I started with have led me to where I am now !! I’m always pushing myself to try new things and level up my skills and the way I express myself has definitely evolved over the years. I started off with small edits, and random posts, and over time, I got more confident in sharing my work. I’ve written a bunch of poems, edited a lot of stories/videos and I’ve picked up moodboards and graphic design again! the RC fandom has been such a fun and welcoming space, and I love being able to contribute to it (✿◠‿◠)

DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST EVER CREATION?

for the rc fandom? it was a ram video edit (insert link) but if we are saying in general, it was probably one of those kpop profile pictures with heart crowns lmao! I was 11 or 12, experimenting with filters and thinking I was so cool — looking back at it now, it’s cringy, but it was the start of everything. and who says cringe can’t be good? normalize being cringe !! normalize growth !! those little edits sparked something that I’ve carried with me ever since! after that, I started making moodboard edits for kpop artists and umh, here I shall expose myself just for you guys lmaoo. these are the first few “'edits”’ I found from my archived posts (no, I never finished teen wolf …) (yes, I still make seunghyun content).

CHOOSE 3-5 OF YOUR FAVOURITE WORKS AND RAMBLE AWAY!

there’s a lot of creations that I’m thinking of! one of the hardest was probably the two part web weave I made of cainlane for a friend at the time, but it’s definitely not my fave

my jayniecarter web weave is a really important creation for me. I don’t remember exactly when I got the idea, but even within the first five episodes of 7B, Jaynie’s storyline hit me hard; her role as the oldest and only daughter that everyone relied on and how everyone just expected her to push away all of her plans to be there to fix the problems caused by everyone else. there was something so raw and so real about her struggles and the way she carried so much weight on her shoulders, often without acknowledgment that it made me really pause. it was supposed to be a funny little story but it turned into so much more. I found myself deeply relating to her — her imposter syndrome, her sense of responsibility, and that feeling of being stretched too thin while trying to be everything for everyone. some chapters were genuinely difficult to read because they felt so personal, almost like I was looking into a mirror. at first, I wasn’t sure how to process those feelings. it’s one thing to read something that resonates with you, but another to actually put those emotions into words. that’s when I started thinking about the best way to express it, and I landed on making a web weave. I’ve always loved the way web weaves allow for layered storytelling — how they can bring together different pieces of media, emotions, and themes into something cohesive. it felt like the perfect medium to explore Jaynie’s journey, not just as a character, but as an experience that so many people can relate to. I started by gathering all my screenshots — Carter scenes, moments where Jaynie’s imposter syndrome was on full display, her struggling with the expectations placed on her, and the way she felt like her first year of college wasn’t turning out the way it was “supposed” to and that the experience had been robbed from her. from there, I began thinking about songs and other pieces of media that resonated with those emotions. I wanted to find lyrics that captured that overwhelming pressure of being the person others depend on, that deep-rooted insecurity of feeling like you’re never quite doing enough, even when you are. the process was honestly a mix of research and instinct—some songs immediately came to mind because they just fit, while others took time to find. I also pulled quotes from books, movies, and shows that carried similar themes of responsibility, burnout, and the complicated emotions that come with being an eldest daughter. one of the best song to describe Jaynie and Carter imo is ESOEMOEHOED by Leanna Firestone, so that was the first thing I did, along with 'this is me trying’ by Taylor Swift. some of the photos included are actually taken by me! there is a quote by a book I really like, 'Final Offer’ that made it into the final draft “You always deserved better than me.” / “No. I deserved better from you.” aside from the angst, I also wanted to portray the amazing love a sister has for her brother, so I looked through my pinterest board and found comments people, mostly sisters, left on how they loved their siblings, how they felt like they didn’t exist until they arrived. while Jaynie and Carter’s journey is undoubtedly hard and complex, that doesn’t erase the love, and that was something I wanted to make sure wasn’t lost. one little detail I really liked was, when choosing Hansel and Gretel photos, they were always holding hands! and isn’t that siblinghood? holding hands through all of the shit the world puts you through? the certainty of that warm hold? honestly, putting the web weave together was both fun and unexpectedly emotional. it was therapeutic in a way I didn’t expect and I’m glad it also resonated with the ones who saw it!

My Nova and religious guilty web weave: this one was something I planned almost from the start! I started playing wt:c for my friend andy’s birthday so she could finally talk to me about it. the obvious religious guilt / religious trauma topic stood out to me and I began gathering screenshots as I played. as a girlie who can relate to those kinds of feeling, I was sooo excited to edit this !! from the start, I knew I wanted to turn this into a web weave. I started reading articles, researching people’s thoughts on reddit / quora / any website of that sort, trying to gather their feelings. one of the best sources was an article that began with

'Let me ask you this — have you ever felt like faith was supposed to be a comfort, but instead, it turned into a burden?��,

written by Gary L Ellis. I read that and thought, damn I struck the goldmine! I’m heading in the right direction! honestly, this one was easier to edit because I already had a lot of photos of this topic saved from my previous luke castellan web weaves and some genshin screenshots (the wanderer’s iconic line of 'the first to betray me was a god, my creator … my mother’). it was also easier because I had been gathering screenshots as I played instead of thinking about it later. that saved a lot of time. another line that really fit perfectly was

“I was raised Catholic,” he began. “But you’re not now?” the judge asked, frowning. “No,” he said. He had worked for years to keep the apology out of his voice when he said this.”

and that made me even more excited because everything was fitting together so well !! another obvious source was going to be, 'Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve’ by Taylor Swift, a song about grooming and religious guilt which ugh, Nova would SOOO relate to. overall, I believe this took me less than a week to edit! maybe 3-4 days? I was so excited that I stayed up late editing, and I’m honestly really proud of it. I’d love to make a part two in the future!

my jaynie-ray web weave: it’s been a long time coming – is how I would describe this one. I made it for the catalog’s 14 days of love event and I knew I wanted to choose these two for the platonic prompt. their relationship is so important to me 🥺 their bond is not just a promise of 'I’ll be there’, it’s a certainty. it’s something so much deeper, that it’s impossible to unravel. my main source for this one was my favourite book, 'Happy Place’ by none other than my mother Emily Henry! if you like crying and found family, give it a read ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧ what really stuck with me, while reading about Ray, was the way Ray’s story doesn’t just expose the pain of being kicked out but also highlights the power of acceptance!! I can’t even begin to explain how much that meant to me. so many stories about queer trauma focus solely on the suffering, and while that’s important, 7B goes beyond that. it doesn’t just show the pain of rejection but it shows the love that comes after. the way Ray finds a new family, a new support system, people who actually love and accept them, is so important. because yes, being rejected by your family is devastating. but what makes it bearable is finding the people who choose you. I wanted to make their relationship justice and hopefully I did <3 I once again used photos I took myself (the quote from the seven husbands of evelyn hugo) and honestly, this one was so easy because I can relate to their friendship as I’ve found it in my best friend Kelly, and I already have like hundreds of photos/quotes/media pieces saved on friendship and found family! honestly teared up a few times making this.

my audrey-deviya web weave: I could not answer this interview without mentioning my wife deviya, could I? this one is recent, so you’d think I remember how or why I made this but honestly, my memory is really bad! I think I screenshotted a few things while playing the old abh update and I was like, wait, that’s sacrificial lamb coded! and who is THE original one? deviya. I knew in that moment I wanted to connect their journeys, to depict their roles as both a weapon and a shield, as a human but also a tool. there were many similarities. – one of the most painful ones was I noticed how both of them die/almost die feeling like they hadn’t lived enough. there’s this lingering sense of unfinishedness, this deep grief over the life they weren’t allowed to have. it’s heartbreaking. their stories reinforce the idea that their blood is almost worth more than their existence, that they need to bleed in order to be important. this was a little harder to edit because I had to go through abh walkthroughs on youtube because I had never screenshotted her dialogues from this point of view! my friend vee was kind enough to send me a few screenshots she had, which saved me so much time !! and they were SO helpful too, I could build a whole edit out of them alone. aside from gathering screenshots, I had no issues because sacrificial lamb is part of yet another pinterest board I have. I hope I did Audrey justice! I’m not an ABH girlie, my focus is on KFS, so hopefully I got her character well !!

now that I mentioned sacrifice and blood, I HAVE to talk about Amala. so I have two versions of my Amala web weave; purple and red. this one I made because I was joking in a discord server about how I was going to make a web weave if my friend Mira (@a-cloud-for-dreams) wasn’t gonna stop sending sad Amala screenshots. we were all joking around until I was like, well … eldest daughter angst? and every other desi girlie in the discord server was like WELL YES ! so I immediately started editing cause when you get a bunch of girls asking you to do something, you do it (follow for more life advices).

I felt a lot of pressure making this one because it had been a while since I played KCD and I had never closely looked at Amala’s character. Mira was able to give me 99% of the screenshots included in my post and, while I struggled with Amala’s character, I didn’t struggle with her characterization – does that make sense? she’s the eldest daughter who takes care of everyone, who puts her own needs aside and is struggling between her indian and english side (something that sooo many immigrant children, me included, can relate to). from there, it was easy to gather photos because again, I have a bunch of pinterest boards on topic of being the older sister, the third parent and the immigrant guilt! I had the most fun editing the last photo !!!

I’m very shy about my writing so I purposefully decided to highlight my webweaves 😭 but here are some of my fanfictions: -> if you wanted avery to be a love interest, I got a fic for you ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧ The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury is one of my proudest works. it was hard to get Avery’s voice right because he has very little screentime (I screenshotted every scene in which he spoke) and at some point I gave up, so if you find it OOC just close your eyes lmaoo. -> did you want Vyxaria to talk to Walter about Xantheia? do you cry to peace by taylor swift? don’t look further then! Lonely winter, cradle my heart explores angsty Vyxaria -> do you instead want to break your heart by having unrequited!Walter and brokenhearted!Vyxaria x Xantheia? Thalassophile, do you remember our crestfallen hearts? awaits you ! for more, look at my masterlist!

[black-arcana]

LZZY HALE On Upcoming HALESTORM Record: 'This Is Our Favorite Album We've Ever Done'

In a new interview with Cutter's Rockcast, HALESTORM frontwoman Lzzy Hale spoke about the band's songwriting and recording sessions with acclaimed Grammy-winning producer Dave Cobb, known for his previous collaborations with the likes of Sammy Hagar, Slash, GRETA VAN FLEET and RIVAL SONS. Asked if the band's follow-up to 2022's "Back From The Dead" album was "done", Lzzy said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "Yes. Literally we're getting mixes back as we speak."

Regarding the musical direction of the new HALESTORM material, Lzzy said: "It's really hard to describe this one. We did the record with Dave Cobb, which is a new producer for us. His ADHD mixed very well with our ADHD. But we didn't do it traditionally the way we always do these albums. First day, we walked in and I always have, like, whatever, a ton of half-written songs or full-written songs, or, 'Here's a riff or whatever' — you come in with your bag of tricks. And Dave Cobb says, 'Oh, we're not gonna do any of that.' And I'm, like, 'What do you mean?' He's, like, 'We're not doing demos. I hate demos. What we're gonna do is we're gonna start and we're gonna write, and as we're writing, we're recording at the same time.' So that's what we did. The first day we actually ended up writing our first single that'll be coming out soon. But, yeah, we started, like, 'Okay, who's got a line?' 'Oh, I have this that I thought of yesterday.' 'Cool. That'll work. Let's go.' Set up the drums, set up the guitar, here's the vocals. And so we would be recording while we were writing it, and then we would get done and we would move on to the next day. And so there are songs that don't even have a click track to them or a guide because we forgot."

Lzzy continued: "There's so many different elements of songs that we used to write when we were kids, but, obviously, as adults — a lot of that feeling. It was kind of an emotional rollercoaster. There's also, I think, some of the heaviest songs we've ever written on there, some really beautiful mid-tempos. A lot of personalities that I've always wanted to kind of put on a record, but I never really had the freedom or time to, because usually when we do a HALESTORM record, it's, like, 'Okay, we have to have all the songs picked. We have to have them rehearsed.' We go in and kind of do it like an assembly line. Like, 'Okay, you do the bass, do the drums, do the guitar, do the vocals, and we're good.' So there's no time to really like sit with things before they're, like, 'Okay, we've already decided we're gonna do that.' And so the freedom and kind of the nerve-racking kind of element of the fact that there wasn't really a plan ended up being the special sauce on this album, because we were just chasing everything that got us excited. And if it wasn't a 'hell yeah', it was a 'hell no'. So there's nothing on there on this album that we don't feel complete ownership over. There's nothing on this album that anybody forced us to do. There's nothing on this album that isn't part of our personalities."

Elaborating on why the new HALESTORM album feels like it is a return to the band's roots in a way, Lzzy said: "My bass player said it yesterday. He's, like, 'It's kind of like this long road to the beginning,' 'cause all of the guys at one point in time said this really feels like we're back in our parents' basement again and we're hustling and we're trying to figure out how to write songs on the radio. But we have all this knowledge now. So everything ended up coming together so incredibly well. But it was almost like the reverse, that the music was telling us what to do and not us trying to like shoehorn anything in.

"I'm telling you, man, — it is the most HALESTORM record we've ever done," Lzzy added. "It is the first time in the 20 years we've been on Atlantic Records that we have not felt lorded over in regarding to making records, because usually it's time crunch. Somebody's always there being, like, 'Oh, we can't do that.' 'Oh, you probably shouldn't say that.' 'What about this thing?' And that kind of thing. So it usually becomes like a project, like a group project.

"We didn't do it in Nashville — we did it in Savannah, Georgia, locked in a house in the middle of nowhere, next to a river," Hale revealed. "The guys and I would wake up like around 11:30 a.m., we would start recording and we wouldn't stop until 4:00 a.m. And then we would annoy the hell out of the engineer who was trying to sleep with playing on the proper keyboard and coming up with weird stuff. But we were unsupervised in the best way, and it was all about, who are we now? Who were we then? This is our story. For me, when I listen to this album, it's my personal opus — all the things that I've gone through in my life, both dark and not. There's more questions than answers. It's not just me giving myself a pep talk, like 'I'm the fire', 'I'm back from the dead.' It's like I'm dealing with a lot of my reality and a lot of the reality of the world in my own way. And then it's also our story as a band, and you can really hear it in the music and in the lyrics. So I'm so excited for people to hear it. And it's to the point where it's, like, I don't even really care if anybody likes it because all four of us are, like, 'This is our favorite album we've ever done.'"

Earlier this year, Lzzy and her HALESTORM bandmate Joe Hottinger completed "Halestorm's Lzzy And Joe: The Living Room Sessions" tour featuring the duo performing acoustic, stripped down versions of HALESTORM favorites and the music that inspired the band.

Cobb has shared in nine Grammy wins, including four for "Best Americana Album" and three for "Best Country Album". He's also been named "Producer Of The Year" by the Country Music Awards, the Americana Music Association (twice) and the Music Row Awards, and has been a Grammy nominee in the category.

Last summer HALESTORM and I PREVAIL completed a co-headlining tour. Produced by Live Nation, the trek was also the catalyst and the creative spark for HALESTORM and I PREVAIL's collaborative track "Can U See Me In The Dark?", which was released last June.

"Back From The Dead" has tallied over 100 million streams worldwide. Rolling Stone called the title track "a biting but cathartic howler about overcoming all obstacles," and that song as well as "The Steeple" marked their fifth and sixth number ones at rock radio, respectively. Associated Press said the album "will definitely be in the running for best hard rock/metal album of the year." Their previous album, "Vicious", earned the band their second Grammy nomination, for "Best Hard Rock Performance" for the song "Uncomfortable", the band's fourth #1 at rock radio, and led Loudwire to name HALESTORM "Rock Artist Of The Decade" in 2019.

Fronted by Lzzy with drummer Arejay Hale, Hottinger and bass player Josh Smith, HALESTORM's music has earned multiple platinum and gold certifications from the RIAA, and the band has earned a reputation as a powerful live music force, headlining sold-out shows and topping festival bills around the world, and sharing the stage with icons including HEAVEN & HELL, Alice Cooper, Joan Jett and JUDAS PRIEST. Additionally, Lzzy was named the first female brand ambassador for Gibson and served as host of AXS TV's "A Year In Music".

[jmvore]

PLEASE NOTE: Clicking any link posted in this section will take you to a new site. These are not and WILL NOT be posted on Tumblr. - ALSO NOTE: this is a list of BTS!fanfiction I have archived (with a few that I've forgot but are gone because I deleted both blogs xD). Anywho, I hope you read these as well.

» Legend › Smut [🔞] | Fluff [☀] | Angst [☁] | Completed [✓] | Writing [✍] | Incomplete [🛑] | On Hiatus [❌] » Note › All Stories are Female Reader Insert Unless Stated Otherwise. » Created › 09.05.2023  » M. List(s) › Namjoon | Jimin | Taehyung | Seokjin | Hoseok | Yoongi | Jungkook | AO3

BTS

FEATURING TWO OR MORE MEMBER(S)

♕ | KINKTOBER 2022-2023 [✍] M: OT7 | AU: DIFFERENT AU'S | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » ❝ A ton of different short stories based on a bunch of kinks and alternative universes I wanted to write about. ❞

♕ | OUTWORLD (1/10) [✍] | CHAPTER FIC M: JUNGKOOK & YOONGI | AU: ABO | Rating(s): 🔞☁☀ ╰› Synopsis » You discover a myth of a wolf with snow-white fur and blood-red eyes. You and Jungkook find yourselves in the middle of a battle between the young wolf and the hunters who seem to want him for personal gain. It becomes a fight to keep him safe as well as your home but when the wolf imprints on you, things take a turn. Dark Magic, Curses and Poison causes damage, chaos, and grief.

♕ | BANGTAN DRABBLES (21/21) [✓] M: OT7 | AU: SUB!bts/SLICE OF LIFE | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » ❝ Just a book of BTS imagines that I wrote a long time ago. Warning! Some stories may be a trigger for some and I'll try my best to put a warning on those but, for the most part, these stories are smut, fluff and a little bit of angst.❞

♕ | A SWEET TASTE A FINER DELICACY (21/25) [❌] | CHAPTER FIC M: JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: SLICE OF LIFE/MASSEUR/SUGAR DADDY | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » It was a place Jungkook wouldn't dare be caught in. Being the Vice President of GC Records, his father warned him about every scandal that could arise but this... This wasn't one of them. Jungkook's curiosity gets the better of him as he doesn't know why he's standing in this building waiting to be seen. Maybe it was the murmurs of one of his employees or maybe it was the stress and tension that needed to be released. All he knows is that his interest was peaked.

♕ | YOU WERE MINE (9/15) [✍] | CHAPTER FIC M: JUNGKOOK, JIN, & HOSEOK | AU: YANDERE/TATTOO ARTIST | Rating(s): 🔞☁ ╰› Synopsis » You've avoided Jin since your messy breakup. Enters Jungkook, someone you'd grown to love and care for. But, with the shift in feelings-- you make it a point to avoid everyone associated with the two brothers. Well, at least tries to but with how Jungkook felt that was a little easier said than done. Jungkook has a soft spot for you, everyone knew it. Jin knew it and he hated it but, what happens when that soft spot turns into something else?

♕ | BLUE & GREY [❌] | ON HIATUS M: JUNGKOOK, JIMIN & YOONGI | AU: MAFIA | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » You come home late and tired from a hards day of work. They don’t seem to mind since they have other ways for you to make it up to them.

♕ | BIRTHDAY TREATS [✓] M: JUNGKOOK NAMJOON, & JIMIN | AU: HYBRID/POLY | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » It’s your birthday and they wanted to do something really special for you.

♕ | 07 WAYS TO KISS YOUR HYBRID [✓] M: JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: POLY/HYBRID | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » You come home late and tired from a hards day of work. They don’t seem to mind since they have other ways for you to make it up to them.

♕ | RED MOON [✓] M: JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: DEMON/INCUBUS/SUCCUBUS | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Drawn to the soul's desperation, Jungkook finds himself confused with how and why his best friend and his friend’s girlfriend is standing naked right in front of him, smirking at him like he's a piece of meat. He likes it, maybe too much but he doesn’t know what he’s gotten himself into either. Either way, it’s a dream come true.

♕ | LOVE ME HARDER  [✓] M: YOONGI, TAEHYUNG, JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: POLY/STEP-FAMILY | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » You knew it was going to happen eventually. Your mother finding someone new to call her own but what you didn’t expect was to fall into bed with said man and his sons. You knew it was wrong, knew you shouldn’t have done it but... You can’t help but love the attention your new family is giving you (even if it’s at the cost of your mother’s happiness).

♕ | WILDEST DREAM(S) [✓] M: JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: POLY/HYBRID | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » You come home late and tired from a hards day of work. They don’t seem to mind since they have other ways for you to make it up to them.

♕ | YOU IN ME [✓] | Written w/ @/jkeuphoriadreamland M: JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: Best Friend Brother | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ☁ ╰› Synopsis » Falling on hard times, Jimin moves in with his brother. He’s been a pain in the ass since you could remember, but when he decides to make things right, you’re suddenly unsure if you were willing to accept his apology.

♕ | RATED R [✓] M: JIMIN & YOONGI | AU: POLY/PUBLIC | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Sex in public places wasn’t really the norm for you like it was for them. So, when they told you they wanted to fool around in the movie theatre, you were skeptical at first but you slowly gave in.

Jeon Jungkook (8 Stories Total)

♕ | LOVE LIES (2/2) [✓] | | CHAPTER FIC AU: SUB!bts/SLICE OF LIFE | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » Jungkook more or less has been the person who brought you your food every time you ordered. Being a regular customer with the Grubbin’ app, whenever your name pops up he makes sure he’s the first to get it. What you don’t know is he’s been trying to work up the courage to ask you on a date. Will you accept?

♕ | PARTY FAVORS [✓] AU: SUB!bts/SLICE OF LIFE | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » You’ve been shopping all day for his little get-together but, he can’t stop playing Overwatch long enough to help you set up.So, you take it upon yourself to show him what happens when he disobeys.

♕ | WET [✓] AU: SLICE OF LIFE | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Your cousin, Jimin, pool party was in full effect and you looked to see that Jungkook wasn’t in his swimwear, so what do you do? Push him in the pool. And he’s pissed. It doesn’t help that he’d been craving you all day, seeing as you’ve been walking around in nothing but, a bikini but this was the final straw.

♕ | BITTERSWEET JEALOUSY [✓] AU: SUB!bts/IDOL | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » Still after all this time, Jungkook can’t control his jealousy when he sees you with other people. You’ll just have to teach your baby boy a lesson.

♕ | I’LL MISS YOU, KITTEN (2/2) [✓] AU: IDOL | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis» Your girl group and BTS are in the midst of touring. You and Jungkook have been sneaking around along with a couple of yours and his members too. He just wants to show you how much he misses you.

♕ | DO YOU TRUST ME? [✓] AU: ARRANGED MARRIAGE | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » there’s something wrong, you can tell when he comes home just a little too distant and when you find him breaking down in your bedroom, you want nothing more but to comfort him in the best way you know how, though he wants your love in another way.

♕ | I BELIEVE YOU [✓] AU: NON-IDOL | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Jungkook tells you all the time that you’re beautiful, it’s up to you if you believe him or not. -or- Your boyfriend Jungkook knows how insecure you are and tries to make you feel better.

♕ | LEVIATHAN [✓] AU: SUPERNATURAL | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Jungkook reddened eyes watched you dance by yourself, his body yearning for yours– his throat thirsty for your blood.

Park Jimin (10 Stories Total)

♕ | THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT PARK JIMIN [🛑] | CHAPTER FIC AU: HYBRID/SLICE OF LIFE | Rating(s): 🔞☀ | fennec fox!jm ╰› Synopsis » There’s something special about being able to just appreciate life and everything that it gives you. who is Jimin to complain, honestly? he has his kits, his soon-to-be wife and even now everything seems as if it’s too good to be true.

♕ | IN DUE TIME [🛑] | CHAPTER FIC AU: STEP-BROTHER | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Who would've thought your step-brother would have fallen for you. And you with him. keeping secrets is hard but, it's more than worth it when you're desperate to be with the one you love.

♕ | KISS IT BETTER BABY [✓] | fennec fox!jm AU: SUGARBABY/HYBRID | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Typical movie night has become a big thing for you and your hybrid boyfriend but, soon touches turn to kisses which soon turns to him laying on his back at your mercy.

♕ | BBYBOYMINIEXO WANTS TO PLAY [✓] AU: SUB!bts/non-IDOL | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Using Euphoria as his stress reliever, he found you. Now if only he can keep you and make you his.

♕ | HE NEEDS MY LOVE [✓] AU: SUB!bts/SUGA BABY | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Jimin just misses you and what better way to show you then to tease you while you’re at work.

♕ | ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU [✓] AU: SUB!bts/SUGA BABY | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Jimin wants to do something nice for you so, what better way to do that than to cook for you and greet you with your favorite lingerie on.

♕ | LEVIATHAN: A BITE OF YOU [✓] AU: SUPERNATURAL | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Park Jimin was livid. Not only had you left the club with his enemy but, you ended up sleeping with him too. You belong to him and now, a punishment is the only thing that seems to get that through your pretty little head.

♕ | BABY BOY [✓] AU: SUB!bts/SUGA BABY | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » he’s your baby boy who just wants to be praised and of course, you can’t help but give him what he wants even after he’s been a bad boy.

♕ | OH, PRETTY LITTLE FOX [✓] | fennec fox!jm AU: SUB!BTS/HYBRID | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » He's been keeping it a little secret, something he's been wanting to try but when you confront him about it he's more than willing to share.

MIN YOONGI

♕ | BABY GIRL [🛑] AU: IDOL/ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Phone sex had become a regular for you two while he was on tour and with that came teasing since he couldn’t get to you but, what happens when he’s finally home?

KIM NAMJOON

♕ | RENDEZVOUS [✓] AU: IDOL/ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » He's supposed to be fixing the roof to your shower not having sex with a tenant.

© ᴊᴍᴠᴏʀᴇ/ɢᴏᴏɢɪᴇᴋᴏᴏ/ʜᴛᴛᴘ-ᴘᴊᴍ | ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛ(ꜱ) ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ  DO NOT COPY, REPOST, OR TAMPER WITH ANY OF MY WORK. Even if it isn't posted here it is still mine and I do not consent to it being posted on YouTube, WattPad, or any other fanfiction website. Thank you.

[mane--attraction]

Jotun Physiology Headcanon (with respect to one Loki Laufeyson)

A/N: I FORGOT I STARTED WRITING THIS. I created the draft on October 16, 2020 :,) I think the last time I edited it before this week was like 2022.

 A bit different than what's been on this blog so far, but I've had this concept for years and figured I'd put it out there in my own way. :)

MINORS DNI

Regardless of how “bestial” they are or not (the Asgardians are not exactly reliable narrators), the Jotuns are creatures of the cold; this much is clear. Therefore, one might assume that physical activities that generate too much heat would be less than ideal, especially ones that require skin-to-skin contact, even if they want to engage in it. So, for the continuation of their species, biology might have given them a further incentive: aphrodisiac sexual fluids. Ingesting it (both male and female fluids) is the most immediate way to gain any effects, although the chemicals that create the aphrodisiac portion can also be absorbed through the various membranes during sex (male-giving), although the results aren't as pronounced as swallowing the fluids.

So. Back to Loki. :)

Similar to how he is unable to cause frostbite and other Jotun things in his Asgardian illusion, the effects are less pronounced when Loki appears Asgardian. That isn’t to say it doesn’t work, because it definitely does, but not to the same extent as when he is visually a Frost Giant; in general, the effects double (at a minimum) in his true natural state. Asgardians are not affected much: they just get essentially a buzz, a little push; they may grow warm, a little extra arousal, but nothing major. Humans, being far removed from the conditions of the rest of the Nine Realms (magic and other various things that I have no knowledge of), are far more susceptible to its effects: even a fraction of fluid is enough to start something—a heat in the loins, quickening of the heart, an increased desire...and a full “dose”? Burning need, stronger than the most turned on a person has ever been, enough to take over their thoughts entirely, if it's allowed to get that far. And such an all-consuming desire can only be fulfilled in one way: engaging in sex with the one who caused this altered state. And, even then, it's a bit of a cyclical thing, because the more fluids enter the body, the longer the effects last...but if one does not fuck, then one will be incapacitated for at least a day or few, if not more, depending on how much has been consumed. And this is just the baseline from his Asgardian default; from his Jotun form, expect to become delirious with a need that nothing on Earth could even hope to instill in a person, enough to feel like one will go mad.

Side note: There is no such thing as "a little bit of cum" for male Frost Giants. Naturally, they're typically, well, giants, so it's proportional (mostly). This means that Loki produces an...excessive amount when compared to an Asgardian or a human, regardless of which form he takes. Not typically enough to overflow as an Asgardian, it's a bit more within believability then. As a Jotun, prepare to have him leaking down your thighs. Y'know, if your mind isn't leaking out of your head from wanting him so badly. :)

Did I write this whole thing just to excuse the fact that I wanted Loki to have aphrodisiac cum to write a couple particular scenes that may or may not ever be posted? Yes, yes I did.

[anjumbai]

Twenty-five Twenty-one

"Why do you root for me? Even my mom doesn't." "Because you give me hope. And I want more for you. It makes me want to do well, too."

I have a lot to say about this show but I'll start by saying this- Baek Yi-Jin is an absolute unit. It's hard to not stare at this man when he's on the screen. The show grips you with its two very charming characters in Baek Yi-Jin and Na Hee-Do (writing their names out is a pain though), a seemingly lost young adult and a struggling fencer who can't get herself out of a slump. Baek Yi-Jin, who has had his family stripped away from his due to the 1998 financial crisis is now in search for livelihood to unite his family again. And just alongside him we have Na Hee-Do, who is eager to rival the Korean gold medalist fencer Ko Yu-Rim and stand side-by-side with her proudly. Through setbacks and failures, they achieve what they dreamt of but the show foreshadows it well enough - "I don't think not living your dreams means you've failed your life. And I don't think living it means you've failed either."

I enjoyed this show. The show had a very strong start, especially the interactions between Ko Yu-Rim and Na Hee-do. Their back and forth fights had me really rooting for Na Hee-do cause let's be honest- they didn't write Ko Yu-Rim well enough in the beginning. She was well set up is what I'll say. After episode 9, she became so much more tolerable and very cute tbh. I did miss the back and forth between the two but I also liked the homely feeling it gave off when the crew functioned as a group for the first time. This show is pretty much an action shounen anime with its tournament arc and one beach episode am I right fellows ahahaha ok.

As for the romance, I feel with the rest of the fandom ofc. All that between Baek and Hee-do just for Hee-do to become a security question? I don't think the ending was well-done though. If it was a good sad ending I could root for it but the final arc with Baek applying for New York correspondent didn't sit right with me. That's just not how Baek was written from the start, it doesn't align with his character. He is the dude that carried stickers in his suit so he could give them to the girl he liked. He wouldn't consult such a life altering decision with his girlfriend? I get it that he was stressed and everything but still, it didn't feel right.

OH AND THE SHOW IS ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE AT DEPICTING AGE WTF. HOW TF DOES 2009 NA HEE-DO LOOK LIKE 1998 NA HEE-DO BUT 2022 NA HEE-DO IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON?

As for the rest of the cast, Ko Yu-rim's family affairs made her a very interesting watch for me. A lot of people don't play sports for the glory but for a means and that was a sad arc to watch her leave for Russia but I could see that happening. And I wish I had someone like Na Hee-do's dad. Improvement isn't linear after all. It is like a stair case. Not like I worked that hard anyways. The sports talk really hit me in the feels and I was glad they kept it real. Favoritism, questioning yourself if this is worth it and wondering all the other things you could've done at that time. I remember back in class 7 when I was skipping basketball practice to learn dancing I got reprimanded so badly for it that I cried my eyes out for a while and didn't enjoy basketball for the next 4 years of my life- and still spent 4 years associated with it. That arc where Ko Yu-rim and Na Hee-do helped their junior quit the fencing team was beautiful. Characters like them do exist in only in fiction.

Now let's talk about the potentials. They clearly had something going on with the financial crisis and Baek's family breaking apart. It was resolved in the final episode but I felt like they were gonna make a big deal out of it. Seung-wan having that absolutely banger quitting school episode made me love her a lot more but it was so late in the series I was questioning whether they forgot about her. Moon Ji-woong having a street racing and airport chase to kiss scene all in one episode? Amazing, but come on- his character had much more potential. They went all out to mention his parents divorce and everything but I guess they just wanted to keep the romance as the main focus. And Hee-do's mother and her coach never resolved their differences. That's kind of like real life I guess. Not every difference gets resolved but I thought the viewers expected things to get resolved too. I can't be the only one.

I was kind of proud of myself to see I found so many things to point out about the show. I was very invested indeed. I practically breathed every Hee-do and Yi-jin moment. They were just adorable and I rooted for the two no matter how much the show foreshadowed that they don't end up together. Adult Hee-do not remembering the beach episode broke my heart a little.

I'll miss this crew a lot but I'll probably miss the couple more. 9/10, great show. Worth a watch.

[on-the-syed]

Pika Ki-Yay (2/27/25)

i'll start with this since it's the most recent thing i worked on. it's a redraw of a picture from 2022:

i will try my best to organize my notes. i have a surprising number of thoughts, whooooopsss

2022- things i like

the overall idea: fun and silly!

pikachu: i love fat pikachu and i think he is charmingly tubby here. plus i gave him the lighter tummy which is cute. good thinking me

and that's... kind of it

things i don't like

mystery horse pokemon: this one drives me insane. was i drawing a rapidash or a ponyta? it looks like the latter, but i stuck a horn on it? we're already off to a bad start. the second thing that drives me nuts is i forgot to turn on the layer that has the legs' flames when i first posted it. it's already a simple design and yet i forgot such a crucial detail. the tip of the tail flame is sloppy. overall, the shapes and posing are weak. i do remember referencing pictures of real horses rearing, and some did show only one back leg grounded. for the sake of illustration, though, having both planted would be the better route. it gives you a better sense of the driving force of the pose. the proportions aren't great either.

pikachu's hat: what's it doing

the drop shadow: could i have tried at least a little bit here

the background: i can tell this drawing was inspired by kanako eo, one of my favorite pokemon card artists (they actually did a ponyta card! i'm not sure i knew that at the time though). i love the way they use colors and shapes, and especially how simple yet effective the backgrounds are. i think a large reason they are so effective, though, is because of how small the overall illustration is- smaller space means it takes fewer elements to make the environment feel lived in. even for a desert, mine is just so, so boring. the cactus pokemon aren't enough to make it interesting. i don't like how the colors don't feel unified. adding the darker areas of sand and some speckles was a valiant effort. solid C- at best

dithering texturing: fun idea, not executed well. not huge on the blue dithering on the background pokemon but i do understand what i was going for.

in fairness, this was a quick drawing during one of the worst periods of my life. i don't blame me for wanting to make something fast and silly and happy. looking back it just is OK at best

popping this one down here again while i type so it's easier to compare while reading/writing.

2025- things i like

the colors: overall there's a WAY better harmony with the colors. the slightly green tint to the sky helped sell a warmer environment. i like the big cactus to balance out the green from the BG elements on the left. i think i color picked ponyta's colors from the original. i could have tweaked them, but i don't think it's too distracting. i like how the red/orange plateau looks against the sky

ponyta: i deliberated for a while but decided to go with ponyta in the end. i don't like how beefy rapidash is, or its face. ponyta made more sense! but i did miss the horn... i won't act like the anatomy is great cause i don't draw horses. but it's serviceable. i made a point to give more intentional shapes (particularly on the bridge of the nose into the jawline, the shoulders, and the hooves).

the background: it actually looks more like a place where things exist and live. i like that it's still pretty simple, too. for the sand, i copied the idea from my first image (some lighter/darker spots to break it up). i like it isn't very obvious there are two tones, but it definitely adds some depth. and there's more pokemon!

things i don't like

composition: i had actually planned to make this look more like a poster but scrapped the idea for time's sake. i don't like how smushed together elements are- there are 3 props shoved to the right. i'm not sure how i would redo it. maybe another regular cactus back where the trapinch/maractus are would make it more natural. i didn't want to put anything that would break ponyta and pikachu's silhouette but i think it might have been fine in the end.

clouds: i wanted to have the clouds at a more extreme/slanted perspective but couldn't find a good reference image, and i'm still new at using perspective grids properly. they're just kind of boring

the contrast between the background and yellow part of the flame in this specific area: speaking of composition this might've been a good spot to stick another cactus. break things up a little better!

overall i like it a lot more! it's cohesive, and interesting enough to look at (which is something i've been becoming increasingly concerned with in my art). i think the thick black lines on the central two pokemon work well to make them pop. i particularly like how these colors look:

i used 3 shades of green for the distant scrubs. i didn't want it to be too distracting. there is very little contrast between the greyish tone and the brown one, but i like how it looks. i've been learning how effective grey is in the context of other colors, i would like to get better at utilizing it! the grey adds a slightly cooler tone that makes the background richer. i am very prone to recycling colors too much, and i'm trying to get better at introducing unique colors and keeping them in their area. similarly, i like minimize the number of line breaks/ use longer and flow-y-er lines. i do that too much. i did it on the neck-> ear on ponyta, and im not sure if i prefer it used there...

all in all, my main take-aways from this drawing are: the effectiveness of grey and low contrast colors. not what i expected, but cool! that's all

[voylitscope]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @somanywords and @zenaidamacrouras1 💞 Thank you both for the tag! 💞

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

34.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

438,009

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily MCU (17). I've also got Original Work (12), and there are a few fandoms I wrote one/two fics for.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All Stucky:

1. There Are Strangers I Have Yet to Become 

2. We Set a Precedent, and Now I’m Living With It

3. I Held You in Gloved Hands (And I’m Not Letting Go)

4. There’s a Light (I Find It at Your Side) 

5. If I Could Stop the Clock With You Tonight  (Technically, this isn't true. There is a fic I wrote in 2015 that is my Fic That Blew Up fic. It is my all-time most kudos'd fic by quite a lot. It's a one-shot I wrote in about four hours. It is in pretty small fandom. This fic is, to do this day, one of the top fics when you sort by kudos both for this ship and in the fandom in general. I still get kudos on this fic all the time. I got 5 overnight last night. So, unless I write something else that completely blows up, nothing will ever catch this fic. There's no chance. It will always actually be my number one most kudos'd.

There are two other older fics of mine that would slot into my top five by kudos -- one would actually be two all-time currently. But in the case of those two, that's largely because they've got time on their side.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! Sometimes it takes me a little while, but I always do. I love comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I was going to say I didn't really have fics with angsty endings, but that's a lie. I forgot about these two pre-war, unreliable-narrator-Bucky one-shots: But You Can Hold Me (Only 'Cause It's a Cold Night in Brooklyn)  You're a Gem but Not a Saint

And thinking about it, I guess Darling, Let's Take Our Time (While It's Still Ours To Take) is probably also pretty angsty, just because of the circumstances.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think some of my fics are just really happy overall, tone-wise, so the ending hits happy, too. Most of all We Set a Precedent, and Now I’m Living With It, I think? And i feel like the ending of I Held You in Gloved Hands (And I’m Not Letting Go) really cements the rom-com vibes there. Also, in my original stuff, people seem to really like the ending of Secretly, I’m Hoping for the Dare Again, and I completely get that. It's a very happily-ever-after sort of ending. So, I'd say those three.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't. I occasionally get comments that make me uncomfortable, but nothing I'd call hate at all.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I very much do. As for kind, I use the porn with feelings tag a lot, if that counts as a kind, ha. I think. I do get a lot of comments about my smut being sweet, or romantic, or sometimes even oddly wholesome, ha. I mean, like I said, Secretly, I’m Hoping for the Dare Again, has one of my very happiest endings, and I wrote that as a gift fic for the 2022 BDSM exchange. So, that probably says something about my smut style? I think?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't. Unless you count putting characters into other universes as a crossover, even if they don't interact with that universe's characters? But I feel like that's more just an AU than a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not one that's on my currently being-used AO3, but yes.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, a few times, but not in years.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Honestly, it's Stucky.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hate to say never on anything, but there are several things sitting in my drafts that I haven't touched in so long. It's probably equally unlikely I'll ever finish any of them.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Tone/mood-setting and character voice, probably?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I find describing some actions so difficult, especially when specific things need to happen for plot purposes. Like, any sort of action sequence/confrontation/athletic event/etc sequence is a struggle. It's harder when there are more people involved. Transitioning in and out of scenes is also Not My Favorite.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it, most heavily in Will You Keep a Candle Burning? (Will You Let Me Come and Stay?)  and its prequel one-shot. Although, there were also several more Wanda lines in my earliest draft of I Held You in Gloved Hands (And I’m Not Letting Go) but I think only... one? two? of those ended up in the final version. I enjoy including it, and I think it can really add a lot for characters/characterization.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

This was a question on a similar meme months ago, and I honestly didn't remember. I've Wayback Machined myself since then, and my very first fic ever up on fanfiction.net (in November of 2006, apparently) was a Harry Potter fic. I'm not positive it's the first thing I ever wrote, but it is the first fic I ever put up online, so.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is so difficult! I am always tempted to just say that Will You Keep a Candle Burning? (Will You Let Me Come and Stay?)  is my favorite/the best thing that I've written. It's 116k! There is a lot of plot! There is so much character development! It's also the story I wrote and liked so much that it pushed me to get back on AO3/sharing my writing on line. Because I just wanted someone else to read it. So it's hard to separate it from the way writing it has impacted my life over the past couple of years.

But there are a few others I do like. For two that aren't in my top five by kudos or mentioned anywhere else in this post so far -- I'm so fond of the Steve and Bucky in We Were Strangers for Far Too Long, and I loved writing this one. I also really like this The Secret Garden fic I wrote for an exchange: So I Could Blend in With the Sky.

No pressure tags for @dharmasharks @sparkagrace @dontcallmebree @musette22 and @thisonesatellite

[writtenbyidah]

2023 RECAPS

my first 2024 post was about me complaining how tough life has been. However, I forgot to write a post about 2024 like how I used to posts every year. Thanking 2023 should also included.

Previous years was not included due to my first relationship has been a huge failure.

Therefore, my 2023 recaps should be starts with Jan and ends with Dec like how I used to do it traditionally

JAN 2023 - in 2022 Khairi and I made a big decision to loan a car, YES A CAR. With Late Khairi's dad help, we are able to loan a car. It was the happiest day in our life cause I get to stop hearing Khairi's complaining. Long story short, arwah made it to Khairi's graduation day and that was when Khairi received his car. We named it Puteh (technically Khairi named her). After lots of struggled, within 4 months. A year ago, Khairi got hit by careless stupid driver and yup a girl. That was after I got him our FIRST RIM.

FEB 2023 - The struggle we had, indescribable. I cannot imagine the frustration Khairi had with him knowing had to go back and forth to school with no car and had to depends on his dad. Again, I had to hear him complaining about it EVERYDAY.

But that was not it, the insurance company they signed up for lent a car to him, a good news (get to see his smile cause he do not have to trouble his dad) and bad news at the same time- the fuel consumption is quicker, at least $5 a day is a must.

MAR 2023 - New semester starts, he was still upset and disappointed. So, I was determined to make him happy. Did not know if that makes him happy or not. (Apparently he said I did not know if its a good thing or not to buy him certain items which I think is kinda useful to him lol) whatever it is, I bought him new pair of shoes for school to replace his damaged car shoes aka rim. I saw him smirking but okay lah, considered him happy a bit.

APR 2023 - an updates, still no car. Khairi still complaining about the fuel tank consumption- but oh well, what i can do about it. I accept for who he is. Reaching Eid, we still clueless with a lot of thing. I was not happy when it comes to Eid since parents were not around as well as my brother,

On second day of Eid, I was pleased to hear the news from Khairi to bring me and meet his family side, one of the best thing ever.

MAY 2023 - Khairi still on his school days where he gets busier and only had little time to spare with me. Of course we still go on a date but it was not as happy as before. The way he still managed to bring me out- is enough. Until we received news about arwah's disease news, he was diagnosed with cancer and it was one of the heartbreak Khairi had for the first time of the year. Went back-to-back to hospital just to hear sad news about the family is not what everyone wished for. Khairi still with school coming, HAD TO MAKE TIME for his dad, school, work and me. Told him countless time to prioritized his dad first and me after but he insisted to make time for me so that I don't have to feel left out- and still thankful for that.

JUNE 2023 - Semester break, now he had 3 things to focus on (work, dad and me) but I let him loose to at least take care of his dad. I never want him to regret on things involving family. Most importantly we still get to hang out but not as often as before.

JULY 2023 - I was having mental breakdown with office mates especially when you dont get appreciated and they only know complains you. My sister, Ummi get accepted by Politeknik to continue her study, alhamdulillah.

AUGUST 2023 - Coming 2023 end, we were devastated with lots of things, misunderstanding- but that's normal right? I'm happy with what he gave me, he did not give much, but time and efforts can be seen throughout the year.

SEPTEMBER 2023 - Highlight of the year, I was happy cause he made it to celebrate my birthday with NO CAKE hehe- still happy tho. I, myself don't like cake either. So, it was fine.

OCTOBER 2023 - I don't remember much, all I know was I was on countdowns to my brother and mom's arrival from the UK. Oh ya, also my grandpa is getting married to a 54 year old lady who is a widow- I guess.

NOVERMBER 2023 - Khairi's day. Remembering Khairi turning 23 was a bit not exciting cause my mom was in town, nothing much to do- celebrating his birthday was not one of it. I did not even prepare his birthday presents or his cake- does that make me a bad girlfriend. I was short in cash and was also paying for my license but thanks to Khairi for helping me out. He did help me a lot tho.

DECEMBER 2023 - As much as I don't want to remember and not expecting- I also know deep down Khairi was also not ready to deal with what he's going to face. Counting down to new year eve, I was about to watch cinema with my Bungsu, Bungsu was kind to pay off the tickets for me and Khairi but things twisted differently after the Khairi's dad was in critical condition- unable to breath, the feels was off. Told Khairi to stay at home, but he insisted to come with me. However, right after Khairi arrived at the mall and he said that his dad is dying. I immediately change the plan, the situation in the car was weird indeed with lots of thoughts coming in, we did not even say much- I remember holding Khairi's hand.

Right after arrived home, all I know I was shaking to the point I could not even stand properly, entering the house with full of hopes that he would make it to stay till new year, mind you it was on the 31st Dec 2023. A day before new year.

Hearing Khairi mumbling telling the family that his dad was taking a nap- in denial and refused to believe that Arwah has gone. For good. The scream of help, begging for him to come back was the hardest sounds for me to accept and get back in reality, but it was real, It was the day I knew he lost a dad- a person he usually depends/rely on,

I hope nothing but the best for him.

[xoteajays]

I have another new husband again.. Maybe I do tend to get infatuated easily over someone. Way more than I would like to admit to anyone.

~

Exactly. There have been plenty of shows and movies that I'd actually watched where the blend multiple genres into the story. Like.. Alice In Borderland and Tokyo Revengers are only two examples when comes to this. Arisu and Usagi are romantically involved, and they do end up getting married (and also started a family) in the sequels - their whole ship with them is more slow burn romance. The relationships for a lot of the TR characters, that really varies on the relationships though.

~

I've seen Junji Ito's work. But I have never watched the anime, or read the manga. Though I've seen plenty of his work. Actually.. There's one of my favorite musicians has tattoos of Junji Ito's work, and Junji also did artwork for that same musician in his art gallery too. So that's just a whole win win situation for both of them. That I could really think of.

~

I have been mostly rewatching the original three movies, besides the shows. Not that I won't watch the other movies though. But between the show and those movies, that is where the original casting is when writing about them. So I've been watching that timeline more though.

Not at the moment.. No knew information about my characters at the moment, at least not for my H&L characters. But I'll tell you when I do though. That might take some time for me to figure some things out.

Maybe? And Ryu's mother. So far, that is two women that I know of in Kuryu group. I'll have to start paying attention to them again anyway.. Especially if I decide to flesh out any more of the other gangs like the Kuryu and possibly Warriors too. Maybe for some characters at least.

As someone who tends to always hold grudges against people, I can't say that I would actually blame her if she never wanted her mother as a mother after the life she went through. Abandoned, used or abused. That's a horrible life to live. So I can't blame the decision she chooses.

What's her relationship to Smoky? Is he a friend, a brother? Because I know everyone in Nameless City is one giant family for most of them, but was curious about their actual relationship between those two.

If she was willing to give up her valuables to save Smoky, and anyone else, who needs medical care. Medicine and medical supplies are just some necessities for everyone but are extremely expensive though.

~

If I ever get around to writing my High&Low story.. I was thinking that the timeline would start between the end of season two, before those movies. That's what I was thinking. Since the drama from the show is caught up with the characters - like Hyuga being out of prison, any of the turf wars, the fighting between the SWORD gangs. That would be over. So that was the idea I had in mind for the timeline for my story.

~

I have only been in three relationships my whole life. And everyone of the guys I was in a relationship with cheated on me, so I become very idealistic about the concept of relationships. Fictional men are always better then real men. At least from my personal experience anyway.

But yes! "Someone you claim to care about." Is a phrase I always say a lot in situations like this. If you claim to love them, then just don't hurt them. But if you're so unhappiness, they should have really ended the relationship then. Because this is never ideal for the people involved.

~

I forgot how much younger you are than me..

The actress might be a young person but she should have known not to do something like that. But, apparently, she did pay compensation.

"In May 2022, Kim Sae-ron was driving under the influence in Gangnam-gu, Seoul around 8:00 am, she crashed into several structures including transformers, guard rails and street trees. In the crash, the transformer broke down, and the electricity supply was cut off for about 3 hours at 57 places including nearby shops, causing damage to merchants. The following day, her agency, Gold Medalist released a statement saying that, "Kim Sae-ron is deeply reflecting on her apparent mistake. The damage caused by the crash is being compensated as much as possible. I will do my best to take responsibility until the end."

It was later reported that she left the project in the television series Trolley. On November 4, 2022, it was reported all the money that Kim had accumulated during her activities was used as compensation in the crash handling and settlement process, and she had a part-time job. Later, Gold Medalist confirmed that Kim Sae-ron had a part-time job because her life was difficult, but currently has stopped.

On March 8, 2023, the prosecutor of Seoul Central District Court asked for a fine of 20 million won. Later, Kim appealed for leniency due to financial difficulties and requested a fine of 4 million won from Mr. A, who was riding with her."

Because of her actions, she left two projects that she was producing at the time of the incident. Trolley and Bloodhounds were the shows.

But still. You would think that people who have common sense not to do something like this. Damaging any property, harming humans and animals. But people never surprise me when things like this happen.

oooh new guy?? 👀

~

release the romance cut, h&l! i wanna see kisses!! kizzykaito especially but i’ll settle for yamato and naomi.

~

the anime is a lil hit or miss, some people are very critical of it. i’m easily entertained though so i don’t mind that, but just saying. the manga books are very good tho. i’ve read most of his short stories/anthologies but i’m interested in his longform stuff too.

~

hyuga’s eventually like ‘eh, parents right? they suck’. i haven’t decided if ryuko actually talks to her mother or not, but i know if she did, it would be an explanation about her mother’s relationship with her kuryu father and her actual biological father; she’d probably apologise. ryuko doesn’t want to meet her biological father either tho, and would reject an apology. very grudge holding, even if it hurts.

smokey and hinami definitely have a bit of a sibling relationship. they’re not as close as smokey and lala, but hinami does view him as an older brother. she cares about him a lot and respects him. he helped look after her and sat with her a lot when she was first abandoned and recovering from her amputation. he was a comforting figure in her life, so it hits her really hard - like for all the other rude boys - when he’s killed.

~

i don’t know where exactly hinami’s story starts, but ryuko’s starts around the end of red rain when ryu goes back to kuryu and kills kamizono to take his spot.

~

since i haven’t been in any relationships, i guess i can be pretty idealistic about how relationships should be. i think i just assume that people have the same morals as me and that’s not usually the case.

people just need to break up and stop cheating on their partners.

~

repping born in 98!

well at least she’s trying to take responsibility more than just apologising. i know young people do dumb shit, but still, it’s such an obvious thing to not drink and drive. just get a taxi home! call a friend! stop risking your own lives and other people’s lives! there are still so many deaths caused by drunk drivers every year and it’s always so stupid and avoidable.

[ninjagirlstar5]

YEAH, it's quite funny looking back on that. It was something of a gradual change over time due to Hiro originally being an OC for...

Sighs.

...Five Nights At Freddy's.

Listen, she was created all the way back in high school when the fourth game came out and my friend brought me into his online friend's FNAF AU, and it just spiraled from there as we went crazy with the lore and made a TON of OCs for the series. A lot of which didn't really fit FNAF in general as we really went ham on the supernatural aspects like ghosts, angels, and demons and stuff, plus a few sci-fi elements thrown into the mix. And with how often the lore kept getting updated and changed with each installment in the series (and franchise), we were constantly adjusting a bunch of stuff in our stories for the AU.

We were (mostly) cringe-free back then, and I'll admit, I'm still attached to a lot of the ideas we came up with back then (hell, I still like FNAF). That being said, at this point in my life, I've been thinking on separating my OCs from FNAF altogether, mostly cause the lore we've come with doesn't really fit the FNAF world anymore as the stories we had listed out as planned (but never got around to finishing or even starting) started straying further and further away from the original appeal of the series, which is, "Security guard works at a kids' pizzeria which turns out to have haunted animatronics of dead children cause there was a serial killer back in the 1980s" thing. We got so wrapped up in the lore and certain elements that the animatronics just almost never appeared in a lot of these story ideas, except for, like, two of them, and just loosely tying in other canon characters.

With that context outta the way...I do have posts on Hiro. The thing is, though, this was from a time where I barely used Tumblr to share my own stuff, just liking and reblogging other people's posts. So it turned out I only had...two posts on Hiro. And that's from the Random-Questions-Fairy that I came across and liked and reblogged for some OC questions.

The first is about, "Does this character has pets or would like a pet?"

The second one being, "What kind of situation would your OC be willing to compromise on their values/morals?" (The third reason isn't wholly accurate anymore since I've been thinking over on what should be changed and such, especially since I want to separate Hiro's story from FNAF, so the context of the situation may end up quite different. It's still loosely accurate to her situation, but still.)

Also, I did actually write and post a fic on Hiro and her trauma back in 2022, I just completely forgot about it until now. Oops. It's kinda old now, especially since the few times her physical appearance is touched upon, it's based on her old design as I had given her a new one now. And I feel like if I were to write this scene into a story, I might change it, but I dunno. I haven't reread it in a long while. But if you want an idea of Hiro's story in the FNAF AU we made, there it is.

These were the only posts I've ever shared on Hiro, two on Tumblr, one on AO3. Honestly, I wished I talked about her a bit more, I still love her a lot, but I've always been nervous about talking about her and her lore due to her ties with FNAF. And also cause, well, my fixation on FNAF has waned quite a bit and SDRA2 basically dropkicked it into the far reaches of my mind. (I still think about it every now and then, but that did affect how I think about Hiro - which is, not as much as I used to.) But since you asked, I might as well take the opportunity to talk about her more and what her story would be like without FNAF in the picture.

Her full name is Hiroko Arai, and she was born in America. As a Japanese-American, her parents decided to give her a Japanese name so that she'd have ties to her culture. It's probably spelled with the Kanji, "to forgive, to pardon" and "child, offspring, young, junior, small thing", while Arai can either mean "new well" or "new residence" depending on spelling (I went with "new residence" as the spelling). Her friends and family all call her by her nickname, Hiro. The meta-reason why Hiro ended up with a Japanese name is because I was a lot more obsessed with anime back in high school. ^^;

Hiro has Time powers alongside her brother, which she inherited from her father and grandfather. Neither of which were actually human, but rather supernatural creatures of a higher being. The grandfather had initially come down to the mortal realm to fix some issues with the timeline as someone had restricted many possibilities of what could happen and had to be stopped (basically the backstory for an overarching story), even going as far as to create Hiro's father, but they never figured out a solution. The grandfather and the father had a bad relationship to the point that he cut ties with him, but he had mentioned him before to his wife, which came in handy when he had ended up passing away suddenly due to a car crash and the family needed a place to stay so she chose to take a risk. While the grandfather didn't fully understand what they did wrong, they had tried to be better for their son's family, and ended up having a much more amicable relationship with their grandkids. Tomomi (explained below) still found them unnerving at times.

The flat cap Hiro wears (pictured below) was her grandfather's. She was the closest to them and loved learning about clocks and their ideas on time and such. She never would've guessed that they were trying to help prepare her with her powers without forcing it onto her, as even if they were to remain dormant for the rest of her life and never were to realize that she had it, it would always be a part of her. She got her flat cap after her grandfather's mortal vessel expired ("passed away" in human eyes).

Hiro has a twin brother named Tomomi, which is spelled with the Kanjis, "wisdom, intelligence, knowledge" and "snake, serpent" ("智巳"). While their personalities were quite different from each other, Hiro being far more emotionally open, kinder and eager to play while Tomomi was more withdrawn, a loner, and far more quiet as he buries himself in his books, they were rarely seen apart. If one is not seen without the other, it's usually assumed that they were nearby but doing their own thing. Hiro and Tomomi bicker a lot, but were always the first to protect and support one another as they deeply love each other as siblings. Hiro always called Tomomi, "Tomo."

They were only ten-years-old when they were murdered, Tomomi poisoned with his body tossed into a river and Hiro having walked in on the scene of the crime, running into the forest in a panic and getting killed there via blunt force trauma. Tomo was found only twenty-four hours after his death. Hiro was found a year later by some hikers, her body haphazardly buried in the dirt.

Their deaths was when they found out about their time powers as the emotional pain of death made Tomomi unwittingly turn back time. However, since they were half-human, their time powers weren't as strong as their father's or even their grandfather's, so they were only able to go back one hour. This results in a time loop as Tomomi desperately tries to save himself, and eventually, Hiro. She didn't even realize what had happened at first until things started repeating over and over again and, due to retaining her memories of each loop thanks to having the same powers and awareness as her brother, tried to help save him as well. But due to the constraints of their powers, they were unable to escape their Fates, and kept dying over and over, and over again. The two of them end up giving up at some point, with Hiro being the first to give up and try and accept her death while leaving some kind of evidence behind for the authorities to capture their killer, while Tomomi took the longest as he was determined to not lose what he had...but eventually snapped and just let himself be killed.

Unfortunately, their pain doesn't end there as they end up becoming ghosts. Ghosts come into existence once someone has died, usually when they have a grudge to settle or some kind of unfinished business to attend to. The former usually happens when someone is killed in an uncommon way (murder) and the victim was aware of what happened to them or if they had beef with a living person upon their death and feel as if they deserved to finish what they started before moving on. The latter usually happens a person dies but still has some kind of final wish or even just wants to protect someone they loved. Many ghosts will move on with a bit of time or accomplishing their goals, but others get stuck in the mortal realm when they're unable to emotionally process what had happened. (This is usually when an Exorcist comes in to help the ghosts come to terms with their death, appeases their souls, and even help them with their goals...if it's morally sound, anyways.) Both of them were in pain for dying the way that they did, but Hiro was a bit more willing to move on as she just wanted some peace. Tomomi, who was broken and filled with resentment, is convinced that he's stuck like this, and doesn't even want to move on, not until he gets on their killer. Hiro is uncomfortable with her brother's change in behavior (she never saw and fully understood how desperate he was to survive their killer due to the time constraints of just trying to escape together and live), but chooses to stay by his side and support him.

Hiro and Tomomi's relationship starts to deteriorate over time, as while they both have the same trauma with experiencing their deaths over and over and over again through the time looping, neither of them are handling it very well, but ESPECIALLY Tomomi. He's become obsessed with getting revenge, trying to track him down through any means necessary, and he just keeps taking things too far to the point that people get hurt. Hiro tries to get him to stop but he won't listen, even snapping at her a few times for getting in his way. This comes to a point when Tomomi accidentally gets someone killed, which shocks both of them. But Tomomi, his soul having become tainted, tries to justify it to himself, saying that they merely got in the way, but Hiro snaps at him as they're LITERALLY dead, Tomomi! They...They caused that, Hiro having shown some taint on her as well for her minor role in the situation. This sparks an argument where Tomomi ends up talking over Hiro and proclaiming that if she's acting this way, then she can't possibly understand what he's going through, the pain and suffering he's felt for just losing his life over and over again! If accepting their death means letting go of their murderer, then he wants no part in it! Hiro is hurt by this, quietly biting back that yes, she does understand, because she's been put through the same thing he did. She just doesn't want other innocent people to lose their lives on this path of revenge. Tomomi wonders if they're even innocent, but eventually apologizes for snapping at her. Hiro apologizes as well, though, saying that she didn't meant to start an argument. Tomomi quietly begs her to stay, as he doesn't want to be alone so long as he remains as a ghost. Hiro is, again, uncomfortable...but continues to stay with him as he's her brother. Of course she can't leave him alone like this. However, their relationship doesn't improve from here as Tomomi continues to go down his path of destruction, Hiro struggling between supporting him and stopping him, but unable to choose between either. Hiro feels as though she can't speak up, and the few times she does, Tomomi ignores her or brushes her off, saying that once the killer is gone, things will go back the way it was before. Hiro, after watching another person die before her eyes, can only hope so numbly.

The Taint is basically what happens when a ghost does something immoral to another living being, causing harm to them in some way. Destroying relationships, driving someone insane, getting someone injured, or killing someone have different levels of taint but ultimately lead to one ending if the taint gets to a certain point the soul can't handle: the transformation of a Demon. There are at least two types of demons: one that is naturally formed from Hell and defined by a certain type of sin (ex. Pride, Greed, Wrath, etc.), or one where the soul of a ghost can no longer contain the taint in their thin forms and bursts, a shadow of their former selves as they go searching for more prey to feast upon. Young demons will usually go after any stray ghosts they come across as they are often easier prey than a human, who have far more protections to use against them, especially if they're able to resist any of their temptations. But older demons are far more dangerous as they're able to slip through the cracks of human society and manipulate a human into doing certain things that make them more vulnerable as time progresses, sucking away their energy until they can no longer resist and leaves them open for death. Many of these older demons have some kind of power that makes it easier for them to gain souls. This is why it's important exorcise both demons and ghosts, to keep people safe and to prevent a ghost's soul from being lost to the Taint.

There were other victims like Hiro and Tomomi, ones they sometimes came across during their journey they've been tracking down. However, they had never met the ghosts of these victims, either because they lacked the awareness of being murdered, wandered away from the location of their death, or just passed on over time. Hiro always tries to leave some kind of gift behind so they can rest in peace.

Hiro comes across a doll, one that seemed to have been tossed to the side, and decides to take it with them. After many years of trying to find their killer, she had grown used to her ghostly powers like teleportation, possession, and even telepathically carrying items. Hiro and Tomomi have grown very distant with each other over time, as Tomomi has become more toxic, clingy, and controlling of his sister, unwilling to let her leave his sight lest she ran into a demon and gets her soul taken. It's not an unfounded fear in this world, but he's not giving her any freewill on the matter, which makes it harder and harder for her to speak up on her feelings. But with the doll she has now, Hiro starts to talking to it in private, giving herself an outlet to let out all of her pent up emotions. She's desperate for a friend or even an adult she can rely on, someone that would support her and love her as she tries to cope from the stress of her watching people die, watching her brother become someone he's not, someone twisted and destructive. This continues for a long while until Hiro starts to break down a little, holding the doll close as the energy of her own soul brightens, begging for someone to help her. This imbues the doll with parts of her soul, and since Hiro was a half-human, it ends up being a very powerful one. One that transforms the doll into a tall, gangly being with strings attached. Hiro is shocked to see this, but since the being was imbued with Hiro's desire for a friend and an authority figure to rely on, they're quick to reassure her that everything is alright, having inherited traits that Hiro has perceived in the adults she grew up with: her mother's intelligence, her father's compassion, and even her grandfather's perseverance. The being proclaims itself to be Hiro's Guardian, and while Hiro doesn't necessarily understand what that means, she knew that she now has a friend to rely on and immediately clings to them. They play with her, recalling long forgotten childhood stories Hiro has heard to her, and give her a listening ear. Hiro has a good time, and even when her brother comes back from surveying the area, she greets cheerfully with her new friend, a jarring display if Tomomi ever saw one since he hasn't...seen her so happy in so long. He questions who the doll is, and they simply explain themselves to be Hiro's Guardian, willing to extend that same title to Tomomi as they are siblings. Tomomi is still suspicious but Hiro reassures him that they didn't offer any kind of contract, they just simply...came into being from the doll Hiro had. Tomomi isn't sure that that alone can be trusted, but decides that it doesn't matter now and tells Hiro to follow him. She reluctantly agrees, as she had hoped that Tomomi would at least get to know their new friend, which they simply reassure her that he may come around with time. For now, they ask her to give them a name, and Hiro thinks on it before settling on Mari. Hiro cannot remember how to do Kanji due to it being so many years, but she believes it can mean "Truth," "Reason," or "Love." Mari accepts their new name and shapeshifts back into their doll form so Hiro can hug them as they leave. They spend most of their time together, and even when Tomomi is at his worse, Mari is always there to help Hiro process her emotions, although due to being created from a part of Hiro's soul, they struggle to confront Tomomi themselves to get him to stop, especially as a part of them knows that they would do anything to protect these kids and struggle to wrap their head around Tomomi hurting Hiro. They're basically a young adult that doesn't really have much experience in dealing with children despite loving them a lot. But Hiro doesn't mind. She's just relieved to finally have a friend after feeling so lonely. Ha, lonely...she was never lonely around Tomomi but nowadays...she's not even sure she knows him.

Circling around to the concept of Guardians, Guardians are basically people that have passed onto the AfterLife, and are assigned to be a living mortal's support and protector. Usually Angels, people that have gone to Heaven for going above and beyond to help other people, are assigned to be Guardians, sometimes for a relative, sometimes for a stranger. But it's not uncommon for Lost Souls, people that have lived average lives and weren't exactly good or bad, in Purgatory to be assigned as Guardians as well, as a way to help them come to terms with their deaths, lack of purpose, and eventually bring them closer to being accepted into Heaven. It's almost unheard of for souls from Hell to become Guardians but if one were to try and reform, it is an option...but only for those that weren't reprehensible enough to get stuck in the lowest levels, as not everyone is allowed a chance for redemption depending on their record. These people are not necessarily demons, but due to how they have lived their lives when they were alive, harming others and perhaps even destroying lives, they are given far more restrictions as a Guardian, and that's only if they pass the test on whether or not they're genuine in trying to do better. Those on the lowest levels aren't even given chance due to how vile of a person they are...and they don't even want to change either. These types of Guardians are very rare...but it happens. Occasionally. Not just anyone become a Guardian, even as an Angel and a Lost Soul, as those who are more weak-willed may succumb to taint, even after giving a protective seal on their souls. They're also given permission to use certain powers if it will help them protect their mortal better. Mari, however, is a type of Guardian that can sometimes manifest in someone's time of need, usually in a beloved object they hold dear, and while Guardians don't usually protect the dead (they're meant to protect mortals, after all), if a ghost were to imbue an object with a desire like Hiro did, they would still be bound to protect that dead person. These Guardians are also ones ones that would take the initiative to protect that person but lack the seal to protect themselves from the Taint as they form outside the bounds of the ones that enforce how a Guardian is chosen, so it's generally frowned upon since they can be just as dangerous as a loose ghost or even a demon. So, not only did Hiro create herself a Guardian as a ghost, she accidentally broke a taboo in the process. Oops.

Demons also have their own versions of being "Guardians" through Contracts. They try to offer a human, usually a vulnerable one, a deal: they can give them this, so long as they're willing to offer them their soul by the time they accomplish their goal or when the contract expires. The demon will then support and protect them as they give the human power to accomplish what they need to do. Taking a demon's deal never ends well, as this is one of the first steps a demon will take to convince a human to commit atrocities throughout the duration, a slippery slope that gets harder and harder to pull yourself out of the more you're willing to bend your morals. And by the end of the contract, the Demon will take your soul, leaving an empty husk of your body behind. You may not even get to experience the rewards of what you've accomplished, but many humans think they can outwit a demon by reaping the rewards and then trying to get rid of them as soon as it's all done. This always seem to backfire as humans have already signed away their soul on those contracts, bound to give them up regardless of whether or not they want to back out. There is no way out, and an exorcists' advice is to ALWAYS never listen to a demon and run away while you still can. However, there are rumors of humans that have managed to accomplish turning the tables against a demon, but there doesn't seem to be any evidence of that ever happening. At least, for now...

Back to Hiro, their little group has come across many people as they search for their killer, but this was the first time they've come across an exorcist. The exorcist was clearly on a mission, asking them what they're final wishes are. Hiro doesn't get to answer as Tomomi brushes the exorcist off, saying that it's none of her business. The exorcist sighs, simply saying that she can help them move on and wrap up their final business. They don't have to keep tainting themselves anymore. But Tomomi doesn't believe her and tells her to go away, which only prompts the exorcist to shrug and say, "Suit yourselves. It took a long time to find you kids, I even spent all my down payment trying to keep up with you for weeks. But I have a job to finish, and if I have to do this by force...well, you're better off in the AfterLife. Trust me." And immediately attacks. This surprises both of them but Mari immediately jumps to defend them as their Guardian, shocking the exorcist but laughing along as she seems happy to get a bit of a challenge. It wasn't a very long fight...but it was one that Hiro didn't forget as Mari, in the snap of their fingers, freezes time for a few seconds and brutally cuts the exorcist with their strings. Hiro is shocked to realize that Mari has the same powers as them (due to them having a part of her soul) and watches as the exorcist goes down but is still alive. She cusses as she admits out loud that she had underestimated them. Mari goes to give the final blow, but before Hiro could even step in and beg Mari not to do this, she would never want this, the exorcist pleads for them to wait. They stop, ready to pounce at any moment, but giving her the time of day, even when Tomomi comes over to tell them to kill her, now. The exorcist laughs, saying that she was lucky that she had come prepared on more than one level before grunting as she pulls out an object: clear jeweled brooch, one that gave off a strange eeriness to everyone in the vicinity. The exorcist offers a deal: if she gives them this Brooch of Life, they'll let her go and she won't go after them anymore. Tomomi questions if she would keep her end of the deal and she simply replies, "Do I even have a choice? Just take this brooch and you'll be able to walk with the living again. Although I'll admit, I have no idea what effects it'll have on a ghost." They all exchange looks before Mari carefully takes the brooch from the exorcist before quickly backing away. When Mari proclaims that this is actually legit, the exorcist immediately drops a smoke bomb that explodes upon contact, quickly making her getaway. Mari almost goes after her but Hiro actually stop them. She's gravely injured, and didn't attack them like she said she would. They should let her go and follow their goals. Tomomi agrees, taking the brooch from Mari without a word but not putting it on. As they follow after him, Hiro tells Mari not to do that again. Mari says that it's their duty as their Guardian to protect her and they will do everything in their power to make sure she's never harmed again. They have seen what's been done to her through her memories, the repeated deaths, the lack of closure for her family as the police lose track of her own killer. They won't let any of that happen to her ever again, the taint all over their hands. Hiro is disturbed...but ends up letting it slide, simply asking them to promise to be more careful going forward. If they're going to be her guardian, she doesn't want them to kill unless they absolutely have to. They promise.

They finally track down their killer, Tomomi confronting them by making himself more visible to his eyes. Luckily, he is very sensitive to the supernatural, allowing him to both sense and see Tomomi, and Hiro without much effort. Since Mari has always been a doll at their core, they're pretty much visible as is. Tomomi corners their killer, demanding that he dies a miserable death like theirs. The killer laughs, saying that they have no idea why he did what he did, but he won't tell them since it's already too late. He's accomplished his goals and there's nothing they can do about it. This confuses Hiro but Tomomi doesn't care, trying to attack the killer on the spot. Mari, however, stops him, saying that he doesn't seem to care at all that they've tracked them down and that it could be a trap. Tomomi just stares at them...before suddenly grabbing their strings, taking control of Mari and using them to brutally kill their murderer. Hiro, for once in a very long time, immediately intervenes, fighting for control over Mari to protect them as they scream in agony, the Taint from Tomomi transferring over to them. Tomomi, on the verge of bursting into a demon, yells at Hiro, asking why can't she just trust him? Why can't she just accept what needs to be done? Why can't she just support him like she's supposed to!? Hiro, after putting up with Tomomi's toxicity for years, screams that he can do whatever he wants to her but never to her own friend! And turns the tables, taking control of Mari and wounding Tomomi's soul. This shocks everyone, Tomomi crumbling as he tries to keep himself intact. Hiro drops the strings and Mari, despite being in pain, scrambles over Tomomi, telling him that it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay. They have a solution, it'll be okay. They form a box between them, putting Tomomi inside and wrapping it all up until he disappears into their chest. Once Tomomi was gone, Mari tries to get their taint under control, pushing down Tomomi's memories, the murderous intent, the pain and suffering in his heart, feeling every single bit of it before it finally, finally subsides. They feel...different. But at least they had their free will back. Mari turns to Hiro to ask if she's alright, but sees the Brooch of Life in her hand. Tomomi must have dropped it in the scuffle. Mari didn't understand why Hiro was staring at it so intently, but for Hiro...Hiro realized something. She realized that she can't have a future like this. Not when Tomomi might disappear for good. Not when she's a ghost that has remained stagnant, hurting as the taint over her arms and face grew and grew. Not when she...she can't even age, for she is dead. But this brooch...if it works just like that exorcist said, even if she didn't know what would happen if a ghost were to use it...It wasn't even a question. Hiro puts the brooch over her heart and in an instant, her body glows bright, her body feels heavy (feel, she can FEEL), and she can taste the stale air, the smell of blood, everything all at once...until she passes out from her senses being completely overwhelmed. Mari catches her, shocked that she had actually done it without a second thought...but if that was her choice, then they would follow and protect her to the very end. And thus, they carried her out of the building, bringing her to a hotel for her to rest at.

Being sensitive to the supernatural is different for everyone. Some may notice a ghostly presence while another can just walk on by without even a shudder. Being sensitive to the supernatural is a basic survival instinct that humans still use to this day, as being aware that something is off can encourage people to avoid certain supernatural hotspots or even a single ghost or demon that may have ill will and just waiting for a chance to pounce on a vulnerable person. It's a sixth sense of sorts. However, being too sensitive to the supernatural can be very detrimental to one's mental health, some even losing their sanity for seeing so many dead people, creatures, and demons in the vicinity. Other times, lacking any sensitivity at all can lead to someone walking right into danger without realizing it. In the end, you're better off being more in the middle. At least your sixth sense will be going off every now and then without driving you paranoid.

Hiro's recovery was a slow one as it's been years since she's been an actual, breathing human. Mari always took the time to dote and take care of her, doing research on what kind of food she'll need and giving her plenty of entertainment through stories and TV time. The TV is a little different but she recognizes it as one that she's familiar with back when she was still alive so she grows comfortable in the hotel. The cartoons aren't familiar at all, though. In fact, the graphics don't match up with her memories period. It confused her. And scared her. After a few days and when she was able to start walking on her own, she asks Mari for a calendar as she's know when she died, she died on a holiday after all, she just needed to know what year it is. Mari does what they're told and brings her a calendar from the desk. She nearly drops it as soon as she reads the year. Hiro, she...she knew. She knew it's been years since she died. She saw how different certain things were as they traveled, how people's clothes had changed, the glimpses of different kinds of toys she never recognized, and the way people talked as she listens when she had nothing better to do when no one else can see her but Mari, Tomomi, and the occasional supernatural sensitive person. She just didn't realized it's been three whole decades.

And that is essentially Hiro's backstory, plus a few side notes on certain lore elements to explain what each term means in this world. There are certainly more elements to her story but I figured I'd cut off there in case I ever decide to actually sit down and write her story. Which won't be in her POV, at least not at the start since her revival is meant to be a mystery in the beginning as her childhood friend encounters her right in front of her own grave and freaks out, kickstarting the plot as he tries to figure out who, when, and HOW this even happened while Hiro keeps her mouth shut due to her own trauma, the struggle of realizing that everything that you were once familiar with and called home had changed drastically including the people you once knew cause they're now middle-age adults, and just overall figuring out if she even belongs in this new era or not despite coming from a past long since gone. Which she is dealing with all at once, with the depression and anxiety just a cherry on top behind her attempts to remain positive to an almost toxic extent (unless she's with Mari). It doesn't mean her cheerfulness is a complete facade, most of it can be genuine when she's taking things slow and can actually be very fascinated with the new technology that's surrounding her. It's just! A lot! To take in at once! To the point that she can sometimes feel a little bit alienated around others, including kids that are suppose to be her age.

Hiro is still an 80s kid before her death. She does not know what a smartphone is.

Due to the state of her own body, a.k.a. being a ghost, when Hiro used the Brooch of Life, it had to create an entirely new body of hers by scratch, which included the same clothes she had died in but without the dirt and scratches. So now there are two of her own bodies that exist in this world: the one that is buried in her grave that has long since decayed over the years, and the one she has now. As a result, Hiro is in a state of being alive but also dead. She can now grow older, which is what she wanted as she wanted to grow up and experience what it's like to be a teenager and an adult, something she never had the chance to do. But she also still has her ghost powers, from small bits of telekinesis to being able teleport (although this time she teleports through transforming into a swarm of butterflies and zipping over to the other side instant of being instantaneous) except for possession. There are also some side effects like her reproductive organs not functioning at all, something she learns much later down her life as a teenager. She's...actually upset about this since the thought of having her own family one day has crossed her mind a lot in her new life, so finding out that she can't have kids period was a gut punch to her. She's otherwise healthy, sure, but...that's cold comfort to her.

Her butterflies are parts of her soul, and she can "split" one off of her to fly into a location she can't appear in as herself. As a result, she can survey the nearby area, mapping it all out and eavesdropping on certain conversations without no one noticing. As long as they're not sensitive to the supernatural, at least...

Because these butterflies are a part of her soul, she has to bring those butterflies back to her body. If something were to happen to that butterfly, such as being crushed, she will feel the pain as if someone had actually attacked her physical body. Her body is actually quite fragile due to her state of being both alive and dead at the same time, so any pain or injuries she's sustained can easily become life-threatening.

It's a good thing that she has Mari with her, then, as they would more than willingly protect her with their life. However, after the incident with Tomomi and Hiro, and the Taint on their body, Mari has been struggling very hard to keep themselves in check. They are now paranoid of any threat that may be posed to Hiro, becoming overprotective of her and even becoming downright threatening with the intent of murder if someone so much as go near her. They want to keep their promise to Hiro, they really do. But due to their lack of experience and knowledge around humans outside of Hiro and Tomomi's memories, ones that are constantly overshadowed by their own deaths by a single man, they struggle to trust anyone at all except Hiro. Hiro recognizes that they're doing their best to help support and entertain her, though, and so she does her best to be patient, even when she's uncomfortable of the signs she sees in her friend.

Mari has the same powers as Hiro has, although they can actually teleport without needing to transform into something else, it's more or less instantaneous for them. This also includes her Time powers as they have inherited part of her soul (and Tomomi's when he had taken control of them), and can both rewind and freeze time like Hiro can. However, like Hiro, they cannot rewind time beyond an hour and can only freeze time for a minute. But unlike Hiro, they are far more creative in the use of this power, especially when in battle. And they can get quite merciless...unless they're in the mood to toy with their prey.

Yeah, prey. Due to the taint that Mari has, they are in danger of bursting into a demon. They're able to keep things the taint at bay for the time being, but they won't deny that the thought of gaining souls to become more powerful to protect Hiro isn't...tempting. But they know better than that. They know.

The butterfly pin Hiro has on her flat cap actually came from Mari. They totally didn't steal it.

Her new body also ended up being slightly different as the other half of her heritage becomes more apparent in her slightly pointed ears, her golden eyes that look a lot more like a clock, and the horns on her head. Yeah, she's not just wearing her hat for sentimental reasons, it's also to make sure no one sees the horns she has as she doesn't want to risk being made fun of or worse, be demonized. She's very uncomfortable about them as she doesn't know what to make of her new appearance anymore, wondering if this is what she gets for letting her brother go as far as he did...(She does not know that her grandfather and her father isn't human at this point...at least, not yet.) She also has a ton of scars on her body due to her past deaths and the reminders aren't! Great! She's really not happy with her body, but her friends don't judge her at all, simply expressing empathy for everything she's been put through. Hiro eventually comes to accept that this is what her body is now.

The reason why she comes off as creepy to others isn't because she is, but because the people she's trying to reach out to that are even remotely familiar with her are freaking out on the inside when they see their childhood friend, who's suppose to be dead, pop out of nowhere into their lives. Showing up at her own grave the very same day you were going to visit her with flowers? Oh God, I either finally snapped and started hallucinating or the supernatural IS real, time to run! Showing up at an author meet and greet and seeing her in the crowd, scanning a copy of her book that isn't really meant for kids? Very creepy as you try to act natural even when she asks questions when it's her turn to talk to you! Seeing her at a bridge with her against the railing while you're walking home? Okay, to be fair, that's a lot less creepy and more like, "Are you okay, kid?", even when there are alarm bells ringing in your head as you question if that's even your old friend or someone else entirely. Those are essentially the thoughts that are going through her three childhood friends' heads, and you can't really blame them since, uh, the dead aren't suppose to come back to life and they're not even sure if she's even the same Hiroko Arai they knew and cared about as kids. They do eventually get their answer as Hiro is indeed the same Hiro as before, but they were definitely trying to wrack their brains over what the hell is happening at the start since they don't know any of the context Hiro has, and Hiro hasn't exactly been open about it due to...everything she's dealing with right now. So at the start of story, the three of them get together, alongside Hiro who keeps insisting that she tags along despite them trying to tell her that they're doing "grown-up" things, start their investigations on the past, the murders, and what kind of insane supernatural things are going on right now, reforming their old bonds in the process as our main POV character has isolated himself from the friends he had left due to losing his best friends to the murderer, among other things.

I'm also just a sucker for the "grumpy middle-age adult that begrudgingly takes care of a sad child and the two of them healing over time together" except this time, it's an entire friend group pitching in to co-parent this child together, who also just so happened to be an old friend of theirs from way back then that came back from the dead.

One of the old friends 100% does the "board with red string" meme at some point.

While we never got around to finishing the stories we had planned out back then, I always saw the themes of this AU as, "Actions have consequences, ones that may end up affecting newer generations as time goes on," "don't let the past define you but also don't abandon it and pretend that it didn't happen," and, "breaking the cycle can be hard, but worth the effort for those you love and yourself, as you deserve a happier, healthier life like anyone else." A lot of shit may happen in these stories, especially to the characters...but they do get a happy ending out of all this, or at least a bittersweet one where everything isn't perfect, but they can still move forward to a new future together.

And with that, I'm finally done talking about Hiro. *lays down* I tried to cut down on my rambling but I have clearly failed on that. I clearly have a lot to say about Hiro, even now, and I do genuinely want good things for her. She's such a sweet kid that just doesn't know what the best course of action is, knowing something wrong but eventually growing scared of confrontation as she believes speaking up would only worsen her relationship with others. Even though it's not even her fault, some people simply won't stop until it's too late or never learn. She and Tomomi was essentially my version of the ghost kid(s) that haunted Marionette back when I first joined my friends on their little FNAF AU. And I think that was around when FNAF 4 came out. There's a lot to adjust for the story to separate itself from FNAF but I think I'm satisfied with what I came up with and shared for now.

Here's Hiro's design, btw.

Honestly, it's about time I shared this art of her. It's old but I still love how her design turned out...even if it's not completely accurate to the time period she came from but shhh. She gets to be cute and happy here. She needs that positivity in her life. Let's hope it doesn't border on toxic positivity. ^^;

OCs are a funny thing where you start off with this initial idea that you're pretty down for, but as you develop them a bit more and maybe even sit down to design them, you realize that they're giving off a different vibe or you come up with a different idea that seems more suitable for character. Bonus points if this is an old OC that you had when you were younger and they end up changing a lot over the years as you grow older and become more mature as both a person and a creator.

This is kinda what happened with my OC, Hiro, as she used to be this creepy kid that came back from the dead after a few decades and was okay with murder as a form of justice. But nowadays she's a kid that comes off as creepy when in reality she's just a depressed kid that's desperately in need of help and support in a time where everything had changed since she's been dead for a few decades and is struggling to adjust to the modern setting after reviving herself. And she hates murder in general now. Her concept was still technically the same, it's just the surrounding details about her that changed a lot.

(Interesting to know that Hitaru was going to be a lot more spoiled and like her parents since she's never been abused like the rest of her siblings. It would certainly hammer home the idea of continuing the cycle one way or another, but I like who Hitaru is now. She's so sweet and I wanted to destroy Mrs. Nijiue SO BADLY the more I learned about her and her husband.)

THAT'S LIKE,, THE FUNNIEST INSTANCES OF THIS HAPPENING the oc does a 180 and becomes the complete opposite of the idea you crested them for in the first place, absolutely insane.

Yeah if i had kept her as an asshole it would show how sometimes the cycle just can't be broken but i think she's much more interesting the way she is not because it's surprising? In a way? Like, this is the oldest of the Nijiue siblings and the one born with a natural talent for arts so you'd expect that she would be treated the best by the parents and take after them due to that but Hitaru has it just as badly as her siblings and took it upon herself to not be like the parents and help them in the only ways she could while being in such a terrible situation. It's a nice break of expectations i think

Akemi also charger quite a bit from my original idea for the character, she was a lot meane when i first created her for voidswap, but then Mod Bubbles picked the siblings up for Asoot and it lef to her becoming a much nicer and nuanced character which is really cool because i think that's the first time an oc of mine changed because of my friend's ideas rather than something stemming solely from me so that's fun

I guess we could include Beni in this list too, but also not really? Because Beni herself really hasn't had major changes to her character ever since creation, she's remained largely the same, i just added more and more stuff to her

Even her design has been pretty much the same ever since this first sketch lmao

The thing is that before she came into my mind i had this different idea for a character which was this girl who woked at the foundation's police division alongside Ryutaro and Keisuke and she was this scaredy cat type character that was always stressed and hated her job, but I wasn't super into the idea and the design i had in mind just looked a lot like Maki + i wanted someone that could have some form of connection to the Dra so cue to me remembering Kanata had a younger siblings and coming up with Beni after i checked the list just to be sure

(Also dude do you have posts of any kind about Hiro and whatever world she comes from? It's such an interesting concept I'd love to hear more about it 👀)

[httpknjoon]

recently with the a-listers... | ksj

plot | A dating rumor with another personality there, a Taylor Swift collab here. This is one of the confusing days to be in the a-listers fandom.

words | 1.4k+

genres | humor/crack, fluff, angst, actors!au

pairing | actor!jin x famous!reader

note | usernames used in the fic are all fictional.  this was set in September to October 2022.  I love writing for this series! feel free to send me your bets for the a-listers! Enjoy reading.

main masterlist | drabble series

JIN Spotted Out With Model Lee Sung Kyung Four Months After Rumored Girlfriend Y/N Takes A Hiatus

The Hollywood actor and international model were spotted together, walking out of a restaurant in New York on Wednesday night. According to many eyewitnesses inside the restaurant, the two were seen chatting and dining alone at Carbone’s. The ‘Still Alive’ actor and the Chanel brand ambassador were even heard laughing about something on JIN’s phone.

Lee wore a Chanel three-piece pink tweed coordinates and white ankle boots while JIN picked out a classy black suit. Both celebrities have their individual appearances for that day’s schedule for New York Fashion Week. The model walked the runway for Chanel while the actor attended the Tom Ford couture show.

Paparazzi captured images of the famous personalities walking out of Carbone’s quietly and not answering any questions. The two were seen fleeing the scene separately in their own cars.

This was the first time the two were seen together in public. As everyone knows, JIN has always been rumored to be in a relationship with actress, Y/N, for years now. It was never confirmed. But the said actress suddenly took a hiatus earlier this year to the surprise of the fans. Without any clear reasons for this sudden break, fans were left to speculate. It sparked buzzes about breakups, pregnancy, and changes in career choices.

But with this recent sighting of the actor on a date with a new female personality, it can be safe to say that JIN is back in the market again.

It was chaos and madness all over the internet. Everyone, even the general public, expressed their surprise at the images from that said sighting. News outlets and gossip pages are having a blast while the fans were like sailors in a storm, not knowing what to do with their ship.

@/PopCrave: JIN and Lee Sung Kyung spotted out in New York City during New York Fashion Week. [insert photos]

@/YNJINUpdates: putangina???? [translated: son of a bitch????]

@/se0kjinsyn: i swear every time i come back here in twt, shit happens 😤😤

@/maybemaybeyn: i miss you user YNOFFICIAL 😔

@/jinhourly: oh my god people calm down

@/jinhourly: it’s not like yn and jin ever confirmed their relationship and sungkyung is probably just a friend!

@/ynstanonly: wbk that 🤡 is just with yn for clout

@/cloudedmoon: THIS IS PROBABLY FOR PR 🤔 

@/YNJINUpdates: We are sorry for the last tweet. One of our account handlers forgot to switch accounts.

The whole news caused a big stir and division among your fans and Sungkyung’s supporters. Of course, everyone wants to defend whoever they support.  It resulted in names and words being on Twitter’s trend list for the whole day. Including the tag: YNJIN IS OVER. It didn’t benefit that there were also immature fans from both sides that said some words. It was just a relief that your, Jin’s, and Sungkyung’s Instagram posts have their comment section limited. 

@/YNUpdates: Please refrain from interacting with malicious articles. We won’t tolerate hate sent to anyone. Be kind, ppl 💖

But no matter how messy the fandoms got after the articles, each celebrity went on their life, unbothered. Sungkyung still got three shows for that fashion week. Jin didn’t have any public appearances again and it was unknown to his fans if he was working on something. And you, you went on your break. Your fans don’t have any idea about what you were doing but they hoped that you are doing well.

Just when everyone thought that the fire is already cool, another photo and news article dropped.

JIN and Lee Sung Kyung stroll around on a morning coffee date in Cambridge

Kim, 29, and Lee, 32, were captured by a local fan in Cambridge, Massachusetts chatting and walking on the streets with cups of coffee on the chilly morning of September. The two seemed to be in good spirits while strolling the city with smiles and laughter as they talk. The actor wore a casual outfit: a green knitted sweater while the model is seen wearing a beige coat over her white turtleneck. The fan who took the said photos didn’t get to know where the two celebrities were heading but shared that the two seemed to know each other well.

This is the second sighting of Jin and Sung Kyung together after sparking dating rumors two weeks ago after being spotted in New York City with one another. 

Fans were divided by the news, especially since the actor was always linked to another Hollywood A-lister, Y/N. The romantic relationship between the two was never confirmed. But also, never denied. Sources claimed that the two broke up badly which later resulted in Y/N taking a break last April to recover.

Nonetheless, Jin seemed to be confirming these claims as he openly go out with Sung Kyung.

More tweets were expressed. A scary mix of emotions from fans was represented through social media: anger, confusion, and sadness. The fans don’t know what to do and what to believe in. There are even theories made online about all of this.

Due to the growing amount of gossip and confusion, teams from both personalities had to finally comment on the rumor. Their public relations teams only responded with a shared statement for the news outlets that kept on asking for the artists’ response. Which, both Jin and Sung Kyung denied the rumor.

Although it caused relief to some fans, it didn’t stop fans who love to make theories out of everything. 

@/hellojinnie: maybe they just denied it to stop the hate toward them

There are fans who claimed that the two are really in a relationship. They just had to deny it in public to stop the hate that’s pointed to the celebrities. Some also claimed that Jin probably cheated on you with Sung Kyung. But again, none of the claims were ever verified.

On the other side of the show business industry, Taylor Swift has been doing these TikTok series for announcing the titles of the tracks in her upcoming album, Midnights. The series was called Midnights Mayhem with Me. it caused excitement to the singer’s fans. Especially when her collaboration with Lana Del Ray was announced in the last part of the series.

But what really adds to the joy on the day of the release of the said album was when the songwriters were publicized.

@/PopCrave: Y/N is back co-writing songs for Taylor Swift. She wrote songs for the album.

You’re On Your Own Kid, Midnight Rain, Labyrinth, and Sweet Nothing were the titles of the songs you co-wrote. Instantly, your fans rejoiced with the reveal. They were happy to see you back working again with the singer and thrilled to hear the songs. And when they did, it has some great reactions.

@/ynswifties: i swear all the songwriting credits under yn’s belt is gold

@/REPUT4TION: taylor & yn both grew up in the toxic industry & chose to write a song about it

@/goodnightnjin: y/n co-writing labyrinth :(( oh my heart

@/sunshinecatlady: just listened to labyrinth 🥺

Replying to @/sunshinecatlady

– @/sunshinecatlady: i really hope that you are happy and safe right now, love. u deserve it 🥺💝

@/sayhell0: midnight rain is about leaving a relationship with a person who’s been wanting to settle down…

Replying to @/sayhell0

– @/marigolds4bubbles: oh…

@/s0ngsynwr0te: sweet nothing is like sweetest love letter ever 🤍

@/YNJIN1208: i can imagine ynjin while listening to sweet nothing. I miss them sm

@/whoisyn: someone stop me from making theories about ynjin after hearing midnight rain!

To celebrate the release of the songs, you posted a series of Instagram stories. The first one was a picture of your hand on Francheskat while she sleeps with the song, Sweet Nothing. Then, you posted something with a question sticker that says, come on, send me something! 🤠

Fans were overjoyed and within minutes thousands of questions were being sent to you. Of course, you only answered a few of them with random pictures on the background of the Instagram Story.

You were asked how are you, and you replied with a selfie of yourself sipping from a teacup. The photo was really close to your face. With a reply, “Thank you for asking, love. I’m feeling wonderful today. Been reading a lot of books and drinking green tea! 😊✨ I really hate coffee rn…”

Someone asked what was your favorite song from the four tracks you co-wrote, and you replied: midnight rain and you’re on your own, kid ❤️

One of the last questions you replied to was a random question that probably caused murmurs in your fandom: tips to move on from a long term relationship?

You replied with an image of the clouds: take some time for yourself. cry if u need it. Feel every emotion u feel. don’t be afraid to explore the world of singleness again 💕 

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[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction ││Ditches You For His BFF [Request]

A/N: @ateezskzboyz​ Hiya love! I went with a mixture of different scenarios for this so I hope you enjoy!!

Also as usual the girl is named Areum cause its the same female name I use for everything 🤡

Chans killed me to write 

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2022

⤜ MASTERLIST

CHAN:

Spending time with Chan had been harder than usual lately, if he wasn't working all night he was practising all day with the boys. You knew that the relationship was going to be work when you agreed to date him but you never knew it was going to get to this point. Barely seeing one another unless it was really early in the morning or extremely late at night. It was starting to get exhausting not getting to spend time with your boyfriend or even get to kiss him goodbye. 

"Is Chan with you guys?" You questioned Minho over the phone, looking around at the kitchen as you sighed to yourself. You should have known it was too good to be true when Chan said he would be here tonight. It was your anniversary and he had promised to come back home early, to spend the night properly with you. 

"No, he's with you...It's your anniversary. Don't tell me you forgot?" Minho laughed a little bit but when he didn't hear you laughing back with him he stopped and realised what was going on. Slowly getting up you blew out the candles and began to pack the food away into containers, at least you would have some leftovers for a while.

"Okay...If you see him or if you can get hold of him tell him not to bother coming home tonight." You mumbled, too annoyed with Chan to even think of letting him the house for the night. 

For months this had been going on and you figured he would have made an exception on your two year anniversary. To at least come home and spend some kind of time with you on the day you both began dating but it was too good to be true.#What annoyed you more was that while Chan claimed he was busy with the boys or work he wasn't. He was quite clearly elsewhere and with somebody else, you already knew who that somebody happened to be. His best friend Areum, the two of them had been close for years but ever since you'd stepped into the picture she'd made things difficult. 

Always taking Chan away from you or doing things to make you jealous whenever she was around. You did your best not to let any of it bother you but sometimes it was far too much to deal with especially when she made it clear she had deep feelings for Chan. But Chan was oblivious to all of it, he just saw her as nothing more than a friend and claimed you were reading too much into things. 

"You came back then?" You questioned as you felt the bed shift. You'd been trying to sleep for hours but you couldn't get your mind to shut off from what was going on.

"You rang the boys to find out where I was?" He questioned back at you, you could hear just how annoyed he was with the tone of his voice but you didn't care. You turned over, switching the bedside light on to look at your boyfriend who appeared to be more tired than usual. You doubted he had been getting much sleep with working and going to Areum every night.

"I wanted to see if my boyfriend was coming home to our anniversary dinner." You quipped, crossing your arms over your chest and staring at him. There was no facial expression that changed, it was as if he didn't even care that he'd blown you off once again to go and spend time with his best friend. 

"Maybe I was sick of being lectured about never coming home," You couldn't believe the words that had just come out of his mouth, you waited to see if he would say anything else but when he didn't you got up.

"Maybe you should go and be with Areum then." You grumbled angrily, making your way over to the cupboard to get yourself a spare blanket and pillow to go and stay in the guest room with. There was no way you were going to sleep in the same bed as someone who very clearly didn't want to spend time with you in the first place. 

"That's it! Walk away like you always do," He cried out as you walked out of the door, you dropped everything in your hands and walked back to stare at him. 

"I walk away? I'm not the one sneaking around with my best friend and missing out on my own anniversary Christopher!" You finally yelled out, having enough of the constant snide remarks and the digs about you.

"No, you're just acting like a clingy obsessive girlfriend! Who called the boys because you wanted to see where I am, god you're exhausting." The words hurt more than anything in your entire life, you were pretty sure a scooter to the ankle would have hurt a lot less than what he had just said to you. Tears began to gather in your eyes as you stared over at the man you thought loved you. 

"Get out." Was all you could muster the courage to say, too scared that you were about to break down into a puddle of tears if you said anything else. 

"Gladly!" He called out, grabbing a bag as he began to pack some clothes up into it. Your eyes glued onto him as you watched how easy it was for him to pack up his things, clearly this had been something he'd been thinking about for a long time. 

"Did Areum give you the clingy line? Or did you come up with it on your own?" Chan said nothing as he continued to pack, his shoulders tensing at the sound of Areum's name falling from your lips. 

"How often did you ditch me to go and be with her instead?"

"How many times have I told you she's nothing more than a friend?" You rolled your eyes at him looking up at the ceiling as you tried to stop the tears from falling down your cheeks, you couldn't believe how stupid he was being. 

"You're blind. All she's done since we got together is turn you against me but I guess she got what she wanted. She can keep her little puppy." You said the last word with so much spite you knew how badly he hated being called that, but it was what he acted like. Always loyally waiting for Areum no matter what, always going back to her like the loyal puppy he was. With that Chan left, slamming the front door on his way out as you sunk down onto the bed, staring down at your hands as you realised he was really gone this time.

MINHO:

"Changbin, if you don't put that down I will hit you with it." You whined as Changbin continued to wave around the underwear set in his hand. He was just short of holding them above his head and waving them around like he was Leatherface with a chainsaw. The two of you were out shopping together since Minho had decided to cancel on you at the last second. There was some kind of excuse about him being too busy to go shopping so you accepted it and decided to bring Changbin along instead.

"You bought me here, the least you can do is let me have some fun." He whined like a child, putting the underwear back down on the shelf and looking around the store. All you wanted was some company while you went to the mall, you didn't expect Changbin to be such a little bitch about it. All he had done was moan about having to come out so early in the morning and spend most of the day wandering around the stores. 

"Are you forgetting something?" You questioned your best friend curiously, raising your eyebrows at him as you turned to him. Changbin stayed silent as he stared down at the floor, 

"When I said I owed you, I meant like a meal...Not a shopping trip," He grumbled as you shook your head at him, grabbing some of the PJ's and new underwear set from the shelf. 

"You just said you owe me, I took what I could get." You smirked, nudging him softly as you both began to head down toward the next floor. Filled to the brim with men's wear since you liked to wear oversized clothes you figured it would be a good place to get some more shirts.

"They have new anime shirts in," You mentioned, pointing over to the wrack of clothes as Changbin's eyes seemed to light up this time, smiling at you. 

The two of you had been best friends long before you and Minho started dating one another and it had been a while since the two of you had gotten to hang out like this. 

"Your boyfriend is supposed to be the one that shops with you." Changbin reminded you as you both flicked through the shirts, trying to find one that you both liked the look of. 

"My boyfriend is busy, that's why you're substituting for him," You answered back with a smirk, shaking your head as you added a few shirts to your basket and looked at Changbin. 

"That means I have to be tortured? I'm going to have to tell him he's never allowed to be busy on my days off." He joked looking at you and frowning. Your eyes were no longer on Changbin but looking over his shoulder at something behind him. 

"What is it? More anime shirts?" He turned around with a giant grin on his face but it faded quickly when he saw Minho standing there with his best friend. Both of them standing awfully close to one another, Minho had a giant smile plastered across his face as he laughed at something Areum said. The two of them had been best friends for years and you knew that but it didn't stop your feeling a little jealous whenever you would see him with her.

"I thought he said he was busy today," Changbin trailed off as he turned back to look at you. Your eyes were glued to the shirt in front of you, doing your best not to tear up as you thought about Minho ditching you to spend time with Areum. 

The two of you would usually talk about everything, if he wanted to spend the day with her you wouldn't have minded if he was just honest about it. Instead of lying to you and going out with her, ditching you on the day he was supposed to be with you.

"I guess he got unbusy," You mumbled, not really in the mood to do any more shopping. All you wanted to do was go home and watch a comfort movie, Changbin could sense the shift in the atmosphere and nudged you gently. 

"Let's go pay and I'll buy us some food to head back to yours with." You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak as you both headed toward the checkout.

By the time Minho got home later that night, Changbin was gone and you were cleaning up the plates and bowls that you and Changbin had been using to snack with. 

"Busy day?" You questioned as Minho walked into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around your waist as he greeted you with a warm hug. All afternoon you had been wondering how you were going to speak to Minho about this, you wanted the truth out of him. 

"Very, I barely sat down." You looked down at the sink as you washed the dishes, 

"How's Areum?" You questioned with a short tone, not in the mood for him to lie right to your face about what he had been doing all day. None of this would have bothered you if he was just honest with you from the very beginning, instead he just ditched you to spend time with his friend. 

"How did you-"

"Changbin and I went shopping, I saw you." You finished washing the final plate and turned around to face him, drying your hands on a towel as he sighed at you. 

"I didn't think you would appreciate me telling you I was spending the day with Areum instead...But she needed a friend today," You nodded listening to him as you turned back to the sink. 

"I'm pissed you lied to me," You admitted, deciding to be an adult about everything and at least speak everything through with Minho rather than be short with him. 

"You could have just told me...It would have hurt a lot less." You spoke again, leaving the kitchen with Minho hot on your tail. Apologizing over and over again to you.

"Will you just tell me next time?" You turned to look at him with pleading eyes as you reach your shared room, he nodded at you. Quickly engulfing you into his arms as he promised to be honest with you the next time he planned on going out with Areum instead of you.

CHANGBIN:

Smiling to yourself you looked around the restaurant that Changbin had bought you to. It was inside but made to look as though it was in the middle of a forest. There were fake trees dotted between tables, all covered in fairy lights and lanterns hanging down from them.

"Binnie this place is beautiful," You whispered, still a little shocked that he had bought you to this kind of place. Usually, your dates were reserved for being at the dorms and watching movies on the sofa, not that you ever complained. Spending time with your boyfriend in any kind of way was the best feeling in the entire world to you and you weren't going to complain about what you did.

"Areum told me about it, she had a date here last weekend." You smiled at the mention of his best friends name. The two of them had grown up together and you loved how close that they seemed to be with one another, not to mention how close she tried to be with you. Areum always tried to make an effort to become friends with you, she never wanted you to feel as though you were being left out or replaced. In turn, you did the same for her. You didn't want her to think you were trying to take her place as the best friend, both of you could be Changbin's best friend at the same time. 

"Does she like this guy?" You questioned curiously, lifting the glass of water to your lips to take a sip but Changbin never answered you. He was staring down at his phone with a frown on his face, doing his best to hide that his phone was even in his hand in the first place. 

"Binnie?" You questioned concerned, reaching out to touch his hand that was on top of the table and he looked back at you, realising he hadn't been listening to what you said. 

"Huh?"

"Does she like the guy?" You repeated as he nodded his head, even though he knew it was a lie. Areum was texting him over and over again begging for his help, or to at least go to her and help her feel better. 

"Well...No, but it's okay." He locked his phone, sliding it back into his pocket as he did his best to ignore the constant buzzing from inside of his pants. 

Tonight was supposed to be about the two of you, Areum knew that since Changbin had told her again and again he wouldn't be replying to her most of the night. Tonight was a special occasion, it was the night he was finally going to ask the big question to you. You'd been dating for almost three and a half years and he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and you alone. 

The rest of the night seemed to be going really well, Areum had finally stopped texting Changbin and he felt as though he could relax. It was getting toward the dessert being bought out and he knew he had to be quick with what he was going to say to you. He had a huge speech planned before the slice of cake would be bought over with the question written in icing on the plate.

"Yn...I've been wanting to do this for a while now and-" He stopped speaking making you frown as you stared at him but he was staring over your shoulder. Standing there was Areum in drenched clothing, tears streaming down her cheeks as she called out for Changbin. 

"Oppa!" She whined loudly gaining the attention of those around you, all of them staring from Changbin to her, a few gasps were let out as well as a couple of comments you tried to ignore. 

"Areum..." Changbin warned as he raised from his seat, not bothering to excuse himself as he ushered Areum out of the way and toward the exit. You smiled weakly at people that were staring at you and stared down at the table, hoping this would all go away sooner rather than later but seconds turned to minutes and Changbin still wasn't back. 

"I-I think you have the wrong table, my boyfriend and I didn't order dessert." You explained as a waiter bought out a slice of cake to the table, your eyes staring down at the icing, 

"Will you marry me? ~ B" 

"We were instructed to bring it to you," With that the waiter left while you stared down at the words, running them over and over again in your mind while you waited for Changbin to come back.

Hours had passed and you were waiting at home for Changbin, sitting in the living room as you stared down at the plate from the restaurant. You'd paid for the meal, dipping deep into your savers since you hadn't realised just how expensive the place was and headed home. The waiter brought you the plate to take with you, you figured it was out of pity or some kind of sick joke to them all but you took it. Getting a cab home while you waited for your boyfriend to come home after he ditched you at the restaurant he didn't bother to text or call to let you know what he was doing or if he was even coming back.

"Yn." He breathed out as he walked into the house to see you, you could see just how stressed he was but you didn't care at that moment. All you could see was the man that had ditched you for his best friend with no explanation whatsoever.

"I bought you some cake." You mumbled as you got up from the sofa, watching as his eyes went to the plate and he sighed at it. He reached for your hand and pulled you close to him, 

"I should have called-"

"You should have." You mumbled back at him, looking at him as he looked at you with sadness in his eyes. 

"Areum was a wreck...It's not a good excuse but it's the truth...The guy she'd been on a date with stole her cards and so I spent the night calling her banks..." You hummed tiredly, not really in the mood to hear about anything and he pulled you into his arms. 

"I'll propose and I'll do it better, fancier." He promised but you whined moving away from him, 

"Changbin I would say yes if you asked me over pizza...I'm more pissed that you left without a word or a text...You left me there and I was a laughing stock." You stared at him as you backed away, frowning as you couldn't understand why he didn't see this as a big deal. 

"I know...I'm sorry...Areum is too, she begged to come over and say sorry to you but I figured I should first." Taking a deep breath you nodded your head at him, stepping forward to kiss him softly. 

"Can we talk in the morning? I'm tired," You admitted as you took his hand into yours, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed beside your boyfriend and sleep for the night so he agreed. 

HYUNJIN:

All week long you had been anxious about today, it was supposed to be a big day for you and Hyunjin if he bothered to answer his phone. Anxiety had been building up for days about today and Hyunjin reassured you day after day everything was going to be okay, as long as he was by your side.

"I'm sure he won't be long," You whispered nervously, glancing toward Hyunjin's parents both of them staring at you with a worried expression on their faces. Hyunjin had been there that morning with you, both of you preparing the house for their arrival when he suddenly dipped out of nowhere with no explanation for you. Kkami jumped up to sit beside you on the sofa as if he could sense how nervous you were about all of this.

Having Hyunjin's parents over to your first shared home was something you and Hyunjin were going to do together but with you alone it was awkward. 

"It's okay, we know how busy he can be." His mother explained with a small smile, you smiled back at her leaning forward to pour both of them some tea hoping Hyunjin would come back soon. He'd made sure to book the week off work, promising his manager that he would make back the time no problem. Your mind wandered to whether or not he'd been called in suddenly or if something had happened with the boys but you were completely lost. 

"I'll go and get some biscuits." You said as you excused yourself, making sure to take your phone so you could question the other boys on Hyunjin's whereabouts. 

Chan: Isn't he with you? He said he had that meeting with his parents...

You sighed knowing that he wasn't with the boys only worried you more and more. Where could he have gone in such a rush that morning? A part of you began to hate him for doing this to you, ditching you at the last second so that you were left with the awkwardness of trying to entertain his parents. Which you still had no idea if they liked you or not, Hyunjin and yourself had only been dating a few months and you worried they thought it was too fast or if they thought you weren't good enough. Hyunjin knew all of your worries and still decided to abandon you here with them.

The day had seemed to pass by slower than ever as you did your best to keep up conversations and speak with his parents the best you could. As the night grew closer they decided it was best if they headed home and to come back when Hyunjin wasn't so busy with other things. Hyunjin's parents were getting ready to leave when Hyunjin finally burst through the front door. Standing by his side was Areum who seemed a little upset about something. You knew Areum and Hyunjin were close friends, they'd practically grown up in one another's homes over the years treating each other like family. 

"Hyunjin? What happened?!" His mother asked in a panicked tone, turning to stare at her son who was panting heavily and sweating a little. It was now that you realised what might have happened and you felt a little guilty for hating Hyunjin for leaving you all day. Standing beside him was Areum who appeared to be shaking like a leaf, looking terrified of something that had happened.

"Areum had a problem and-"

"You went to help her? Oh, you're such a good boy!" His mother praised instantly bringing her son into her arms and hugging him tightly. You raced over to Areum, bringing her into the living room to get her a drink of tea and a blanket. It looked as if she was stone cold and yet sweating heavily. 

His parents finally left and you sat in front of Areum, trying to get her to speak to you but it was useless. Her eyes stared down at the floor as she shivered a little, despite wearing four blankets over her shoulders. 

"What happened?" You questioned Hyunjin who sat down beside Areum, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as he looked at you worriedly.

"She got into a fight with her boyfriend, I wouldn't have left if it wasn't bad...I-I'm sorry," You shook your head at him, none of that matter right now. All that mattered was making sure that his friend was okay because she looked sick.

"Did you guys run here? You're sweating," You looked at him as he nodded his head, 

"The car wouldn't start," He explained before going to get you all something to drink, meanwhile you sat beside Areum and did your best to comfort her in the best way that you could. 

"Do you want to shower? I have plenty of clothes you can borrow and you can stay as long as you need." You promised her as you began to rub her back gently.

JISUNG:

"Felix," You whined as he tried to convince you to start another dance routine but you were already drained and drenched in your own sweat.

"No, you promised we would dance." You laid down on the ground, your back against the cold floor of the dance studio staring at your best friend who had just said that to you. As if you hadn't just spent the better half of your day practising routines with him and trying to learn new TikTok dances for him to post on their TikTok account. 

"You say that as if I'm not covered in sweat and panting heavily...We've been doing this all day." You whined, closing your eyes as you tried to imagine yourself at home already. 

"My bed is calling me by my full government name," You joked, opening one eye to look over at Felix who sighed. The two of you were the best of friends ever since you began dating Jisung, whenever your boyfriend was busy Felix always made sure to make your day pass by faster. 

"You mean Jisung is," He laughed handing you a bottle of water as he sat down beside you, admitting that he wanted to go back to the dorms. 

"Jisung is busy lately, he and Areum are busy lately." You mumbled looking down at the bottle of water in your hands. For days now Jisung had been in and out of the house, excusing himself out of plans with you to help out his best friend.

Usually, it wouldn't bother you that much since they had been friends for years but it still hurt to know he would rather spend time with his best friend than you. Whenever you would offer to help them too Jisung would decline, telling you to focus on your own things and that everything would be fine.

"What do you mean?" Felix frowned, Jisung hadn't told them he had been busy with anything lately and usually they were the first to know everything besides you of course. 

"He and Areum, they're always together lately." Felix's frown didn't move from his face as he thought about it.

"With what? They didn't tell us anything." He said slowly as he tried to remember Jisung mentioning anything but there had been nothing. No conversation about Areum or Jisung ever coming into his mind.

"She's moving into a new place, he said he was helping." You shrugged it off but everything was still bothering Felix. Jisung hadn't even mentioned any of this the last time they spoke and he was beginning to worry if there was a reason for that. 

"I'll drive you home..." He said slowly as he got up from the floor, bringing you with him as you began following him out into the hallway. Felix ignored the boys as they called his name, he didn't have time to listen to them if what he thought was happening was in fact happening. All he needed to do was get you to your apartment as fast as humanly possible, without breaking the speed laws of course. 

"Why are we rushing?" You whined as you felt your legs beginning to tremble, Felix was practically pulling you into your own home with a worried expression on his face. Since the practice room he had barely uttered a single word in your direction as he focused on driving, not to mention planning Jisung's murder if what he thought turned out to be true. Giggling a little you went to question what the big deal was when you saw it,

"What's the big-" The giggling instantly stopped as you stared around your bare apartment. There was hardly anything left inside of it besides the furniture you had purchased and your clothes that were still hanging in the wardrobe. If you didn't know any better you would have thought you'd been robbed but the only items that were missing were what belonged to Jisung. 

"Felix?" Your voice cracked as you looked around at everything, moving further into the apartment to try and figure out what was going on but it was obvious. Jisung had left you without having the guts to tell you to your face what he was doing.

"Yn..." Felix trailed off as he noticed a small note sitting on the coffee table, his hands trembling as he picked it up to give it to you. 

 I didn't know how to tell you, I knew you would be busy today and so I figured it would be a clean way to do this. No fights. No yelling. Thank you for everything 

"Thank you for everything?" You scoffed screwing the ball up and throwing it down onto the floor but it didn't feel like enough. Anger was raging inside of you as you thought about him just leaving you, no conversation just leaving a note as if you were nothing to him. As if you hadn't spent the last year and a half together, planning your futures. He'd just tossed you aside as if you were an old pair of shoes, as if nothing you had together meant a single thing to him

"Y/n.."

"Did you know?!" You snapped angrily at Felix, turning to look at him as he turned a pink colour.

"No...I didn't, as soon as you mentioned her moving out I-I thought it was odd, Jisung had been looking for places before and I thought it was for you and him but I was wrong." The tone of his voice was seeping with pity as he stared at you, your mind finally clicking together who he had left you for and where he was. 

"He left me for Areum?" You questioned, your voice breaking as you sat down on the sofa. Imagining them both together all these months behind your back, your mind wandering to what they had been doing this whole time. Had he been seeing her while he was with you?

"Can you go?" You begged as Felix tried to come to comfort you, all you wanted was to cry alone you didn't need Jisung's band member to see you like this. 

"Yn...I don't think it's a good idea," You stared up at him as you teared up, tears already rolling down your cheeks as you tried to speak but Felix shook his head. Bringing you into a tight embrace as he did his best to comfort you, making a mental note never to let Jisung live this down.

FELIX:

Your eyes travelled around the room as you smiled at friends and family around you. There were banners strung up around the room celebrating your birthday, a full table of food and cakes displayed for everybody to eat. Some of the cupcakes you and Felix had been baking the night before were out for everyone to eat and it was perfect. 

"Thank you for this," You whispered to Felix, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades as you again began to glance around the room at everyone. It was one of the best days ever, you'd never really been one for having birthday parties but Felix had insisted on it this year. Deciding that he wanted to do something special to celebrate your birthday, promising that he would be the one to plan and prepare everything so that you didn't have to. 

"You don't have to thank me," He chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist and bringing you closer to him. You'd told him before that growing up parties hadn't really been a thing in your household and he wanted to do something to make it feel special. From the moment you'd woken up that morning, he'd treated you like royalty, bringing you breakfast in bed and waiting on you hand and foot. 

"I do, this is the single most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me." You whispered as you looked up at him, his eyes already staring down at you with a giant grin plastered across his face. 

"We should go and see the others, I think they all bought a gift for you," He ushered you over to the boys who were already gathering around a small gift table.

"Hey, birthday girl." Jisung greeted as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and begged you to open his gift first. Meanwhile, Felix seemed to disappear into the background, going onto his phone and ignoring what was going on around him.

The night was drawing closer to an end and everything had almost been perfect. 

Only almost because your boyfriend decided to ditch you at the last second. For the last hour, you had to listen to people making excuses for him because once again he had ditched you without so much as a text. One second he was there and next he was gone as if by magic.

"Chan, don't." You warned looking at the leader who had an apologetic look written across his face, none of them had even noticed Felix leaving the party. At first, Minho was convinced he'd just nipped out to get your gift but when an hour went by he began to realise that probably wasn't true. 

"Maybe he got caught in traffic," Seungmin suggested as you smiled weakly, doing your best to seem as though you weren't that bothered about being ditched on your birthday.  The truth was that this happened a lot more often than all of them though and every time you were just as surprised as the last. You knew where he was, of course, he was where he always was when he decided to ditch you, you just never expected him to do it to you on your birthday. 

"He's with Areum." You mumbled, taking your cup and drinking from it as you tried to imagine what would be so important that he would ditch you at your own party...That he prepared for. 

"Oh." The "Oh" that came from Chan was all you needed to know about it, Chan knew Felix like he knew the back of his hand which meant he knew how close Areum and Felix were with one another.

The night continued on until you were left with an empty house and a lot of cleaning up to do. Felix still hadn't turned up or called to let you know what he was doing. You guessed Areum was having a rough day or something but you figured you were still worth at least a text. 

"Where did everyone go?" His voice came from the door as you glanced over at him, a bin bag in your hand as you did your best to clear up everything that you could. 

"Home." You answered coldly turning back to the task at hand and ignoring as Felix rushed over to help you. Sighing to yourself you let him clean up and decided to move into another room, going into the kitchen to start on the dishes. 

"I can do that, it's your birthday you shouldn't-"

"Spend my birthday party alone with everyone feeling sorry for me? I know but my boyfriend ditched me at the last second." You felt guilty for snapping at him but you couldn't help it. All night long you had to deal with people looking at you and feeling sorry for you and it annoyed you to the highest of heavens.

"Babe," He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as you shook your head. 

"No, I get it. Areum is more important, don't sweat it. But next time you decide to ditch me for her at least give me a warning or a text." You mumbled harshly, brushing past him as you began to go and get ready for bed. Too tired to have a fight with him over something that clearly wasn't bothering him in the first place.

"Yn can we talk about it?" He questioned when he eventually came up to the bed, laying beside you and watching you as you tried to sleep. Not that you could, your head was too busy racing over everything that had happened.

"Why? It's only going to happen again and again...and again." You mumbled tiredly but this time Felix turned you to look at him, sighing as he saw tears rolling down your cheeks. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt you and it killed him to see how upset you were over this. 

"She needed help,"

"She always needs your help." You mumbled annoyed. It always seemed that whenever you and Felix had time alone together she would do whatever she could to take it away from you. Felix sighed as he brought you into his arms, laying his head to rest on top of yours. 

"I'll stop going so much...I-I'll text when I know she needs me." You nodded your head, not wanting to fight about it. The most you wanted out of all of this was for Felix to notice how it made you feel and you guessed he did now.

"C-Can we spend the day together tomorrow? Just me and you? No interruptions, no work...Just us?" Felix smiled a bright smile as he nodded his head, 

"I'll turn my phone off and we can do whatever you want," He promised, kissing the top of your head as you both began to fall to sleep cradling one another tightly. 

SEUNGMIN:

Your hands slowly ran down the white fabric of your dress, looking at yourself in the mirror as you took in a deep breath. This was going to be the single most amazing day of your life, you were going to start your married life with Seungmin.

Both of you were excited to see one another at the end of the aisle. It had been a week since you had last seen one another, deciding to spend a week apart to make the reunion that much more special. 

"Are you ready?" A voice questioned from the doorway, you smiled turning around to see Chan standing there. Dressed in a black tux with a giant smile on his face, he was happy to see his two best friends starting their lives together. 

"More than ready," You hummed, taking the small bouquet from the table beside the mirror and giving yourself one final look. You wanted to make sure that everything looked perfect for Seungmin and the guests that were waiting for you inside of the church.

"You look great, stop fretting." Chan chuckled as he walked into the room to stand behind you, looking at you in the mirror as you sighed a little. It would be a lie if you said you weren't nervous, of course, you were.

Going up in front of almost 250 people and marrying the love of your life, was nerve-wracking. All night long you had been going over your vows, again and again, wanting to make sure you had everything perfected before you spoke to Seungmin. You had wanted to go up and speak from the heart at first but as it got closer to the day you decided you wanted to tell Seungmin everything you had felt from him since the start of your relationship. 

"What if he doesn't like the dress?" It was impossible for Seungmin to hate the dress. It was perfectly suited for your body shape and had been designed by one of the best wedding designers in South Korea. 

"Seungmin would love you if you showed up in a bin bag while holding a bouquet of PuppyM dolls." Chan chuckled doing his best to set your mind at ease, taking your arm in his as he began to lead you out of the room. 

It was time for you to walk down that aisle and start the rest of your life with Seungmin but with each second you had a gut feeling. It was as if something was wrong and deep down you knew it. 

"Y/n?" Chan questioned as you stood at the doors, just beyond those were family and friends all waiting for you to get married.

"You ready?" He whispered as he felt your squeeze his arm in yours, you said nothing but gave him a silent nod of your head. Pushing the feeling down inside of yourself, convincing yourself that it was just your nerves.

The double doors opened and the music began to play and people gasped as they turned to look at you. Your eyes scanned over everyone else in the room, wanting to save Seungmin in his suit for last. The look on peoples faces wasn't what you had imagined when you pictured your wedding, people had mixed emotions. 

Pity, sadness and shock were the ones you spotted the most as you frowned. Eyes shooting up to the top of the aisle to see Seungmin was nowhere in sight. 

Instead, Jisung and Minho were standing there and it looked as though they had been addressing the room about something. Your eyes began to scan the room once again when you noticed the only other person missing from the room.

"He left with her..." Your voice came out in barely a whisper as you stood perfectly still. Chan held you in place as he frowned, completely confused as to what was going on around him. When he left Seungmin he was waiting for you, excited that he was about to marry you. 

"What?" His attention turned to you as you struggled to get your arm out of his grasp, desperately trying to flee from the room where everyone was staring at you. 

"Let me go," You begged in a whispered tone, staring at Chan who let you rush out of the room before he began to storm toward the boys and figure out what had happened. 

"He left with her," You whispered as Chan came back into your changing room. By now, the dress was discarded on the floor and you were sitting by the window of the church. Staring out at all of the guests who were leaving and mumbling amongst one another. It was something you felt stupid for not seeing coming, of course, he was in love with her. Who wouldn't be? His best friend happened to be one of the most beautiful girls in Korea, she was also the sweetest.

"Yn..." Chan said slowly as you turned your head to look at him, the same look the guests had been giving to you plastered across his face as you took in a deep breath.

"I should have seen it coming...I'm stupid." You laughed pathetically at yourself as you rose to your feet. Not looking forward to heading out of the church and in front of the fans and paparazzi that would be waiting for an explanation. 

"You're not stupid, no one saw this coming...Least of all you," Chan tried to reassure you as the other boys came to the door, smiling at you weakly. 

"Can you give me a lift Chan?" You questioned, grabbing your bag as you did your best not to cry in front of all of them. You were going to save your tears for when you were home alone, or at least until you saw Seungmin and he would collect his things.

Ultimately Seungmin sent the boys to get his things from your shared home and you never saw one another again. You figured it was for the best since you hated him for what he did to you, ditching you for his best friend in front of everyone.

JEONGIN:

As you climbed the stairs toward the boy's dorms you debated turning back around and going home again. Jeongin told you that he and the boys had all come down with some kind of Flu and you wanted to come and look after them. 

Today was supposed to be the day that you and Jeongin went out to dinner for his birthday but when he cancelled you knew something had to be wrong. The boy never missed out on free food and you wanted to come and make sure that all of them were at least looking after themselves properly. You had a key to the dorms and Jeongin always welcomed you coming and going as you pleased so you headed inside. 

Kicking off your shoes as you walked into the dorms, you expected to hear the odd mumbles from the boys but instead, you heard excited yelling and cheering. 

"Jeongin?" You questioned as you stood in the doorway to the living room. All of them were sitting on the sofa looking completely fine as they ate take out food and sat with Areum. Board games on the coffee table as they quite clearly celebrated Jeongin's birthday without you there. 

"Yn...I told you we were sick," Jeongin stumbled over his words as he struggled to get up from the sofa, making his way over to you but you stepped backwards. 

"You look fine to me." You grumbled eyes glancing over at Areum who was giggling to herself. You knew why you weren't invited to be here with them while she was here, she'd made it obvious to you that she wasn't happy about your relationship with Jeongin. The two of you hated one another and made it no secret to show everyone around you, while you tried to be civil she did not. Doing everything that she could to provoke you and make you explode so she could seem like the innocent one. 

"But I told you we were sick so why would you come around?" Did he not see everything wrong with that sentence?

"Why wouldn't I? My boyfriend was sick, of course, I would come around to check on him." Your blood boiled so much you were beginning to think it was lava but Jeongin still didn't seem all that bothered by everything. 

"Areum wanted to see me, I know you don't like each other so-"

"You ditched me on the day of our plans and lied to me so you could see her?" You hummed sarcastically, putting the bag of groceries down onto the floor, there was more than enough food for you than you needed so it would be a waste to take it with you. 

"There's enough there for a huge patch of chicken noodle soup, have fun." You grumbled not bothering to look back at him as you walked out of the dorms and went back to your apartment. Wondering how many times he had done this before? 

Thinking back on all of the times he claimed to be busy or sick, you wondered if he was really spending that time with her. It made you question every little action that had happened over the last year of your relationship.

"Don't you think a week of the silent treatment is enough?" Jeongin quizzed as you sat in the living room of your shared apartment, eyes glued to the screen as you pretended not to hear him speaking to you. Maybe it was petty and childish but you didn't care, you couldn't get the image of Areum and him together out of your mind. Both of them talking and meeting up behind your back just didn't sit right with you. 

"God, Areum said you would react like this. It's so childish!" The second her name left his lips you stood up and stared at him,

"Did she also tell you how paranoid I would be now? How I will sit and overthink every word you say to me? Every time you go out somewhere I wonder if you're really going out to see her," Jeongin stayed silent as you raised your voice, staring at you as you finally spoke to him. 

"Questioning whether or not you're really with the boys or if you're off with her...Do you know how many times I've sat and thought about this?" He didn't realise how much it was going to bother you until he saw you snap at him like this, guilt welled up inside of him as he looked at you. 

"I-I'm sorry...I didn't think about it," You rolled your eyes as you shook your head, 

"I wouldn't have been bothered if you just said you wanted to go and see her...She's your friend, I'm not going to stop you from spending time with her." As much as you hated her, you weren't going to tear apart a friendship because you couldn't get along. If Jeongin really wanted her as a friend he was more than welcome to, you weren't that insecure that he couldn't have friends. 

"She said you would fight with me over it..."

"And you believed her? Instead of asking me?" He could hear the pain in your voice and he sighed shaking his head as he reached out for your hand. 

"I'm sorry..." You hummed a little, sitting back down beside him as he moved closer to you.

"I'll make it up to you..." You looked at him as he smiled at you, promising that he would do whatever it would take for you to trust and forgive him.

⤜ MASTERLIST

[moonhoures]

so hot you’re hurting my feelings

pairing: sunghoon (enhypen) + reader (fem.)

genre: model!sunghoon, established / long distance relationship, fluff, mild angst, smut [ nsfw | mdni ]

warnings: 18+, explicit smut, minors do not interact, mentions of masturbation, biting, fingering, vaginal penetration, use of protection 👍🏻, small mention of dumbificafion

word count: ~3.4K

synopsis: your boyfriend has been across the country for work for almost a month, and the distance is getting to you. luckily, his business trip gets cut a little short! you’re reunited again, and 🎶 it feels so good 🎶 😉

a/n: this is heavily inspired by the lyrics of “so hot you’re hurting my feelings” by caroline polachek (a.k.a one of my fav songs ever) and i’ve wanted to write a fic like this for a while, so yeah! enjoy!💓

posted: july 3, 2022

“Okay, how many times are you going to check your phone?”

You pull your eyes away from the screen in your hand to meet those of your friend, Mina. She held out a half-filled plastic cup to you with an expectant look in her eyes, and you took it with a grateful expression.

“Sorry, it’s just . . . Sunghoon usually texts me every night before ten to tell me goodnight.”

Your friend nodded in understanding. She was aware of the situation with your boyfriend. You and Sunghoon had dated for just over a year when he dropped the news on you; he had to move across the country for a modeling gig. You were devastated, to say the least. The two of you had grown inseparable in the year you dated, and this was the first time you would be apart for more than just a couple days. But, he promised to talk to you as often as possible every day, and you promised to tough it out until he got back. One month couldn’t be too bad, right?

Well, it was. You knew that as early as five days in. Friday nights were usually your “mystery date nights” where you scrolled through a list of restaurants nearby and randomly chose one to eat at. It felt pointless to go out without him, so you heated up some leftovers and waited for him to call you. You were miserable. And there were still twenty-six days left . . .

“I’m sure he’s just working late or something,”

she shrugged with an optimistic tone to her voice, “Um, do you want anything from the snack table?”

Oh, right. You almost forgot that you were at a party. It was easy to do that when your mind was elsewhere, drifting to memories of your boyfriend who was hundreds of miles away from you. You wondered if he found it hard to sleep alone just as you did. If he spoke out loud to you before realizing you weren’t there just as you did. If he missed you just as you much as you missed him . . .

“No, I’m fine.”

“Okay, I’ll be back in a few,” Mina assured you before disappearing into the cloud of unfamiliar faces before you. You finally took a moment to take in the scene of smiling, dancing people when your phone buzzed in your hand. You nearly dropped it from how quickly you turned it, facing the screen. There it was, your favorite name followed by his signature emoji.

sunghoon ❄️ sent 1 message

A quick swipe of your thumb across your screen displayed your boyfriend’s message to you, effectively making your heart swell.

sunghoon ❄️: hi baby, sorry for taking so long. got held up at work. wyd?

you: hey! it’s okay, and you wouldn’t believe me if i told you where i was lol

sunghoon ❄️: oh? 👀

you: i’m at a party. mina dragged me here

sunghoon ❄️: sounds about right haha are you having fun at least?

you: honestly? no. i wish you were here :(

sunghoon ❄️: i know, baby, but i’ll be home soon. just a few more days

you: 6 right?

sunghoon ❄️: that’s right 😄 so what time will you get home?

you: idk but i don’t plan on staying here much longer

sunghoon ❄️: okay well text me when you get home safe

you: i will

sunghoon ❄️: would you like to see some pics from my shoot yesterday? would those make you feel a bit better?

You knew they wouldn’t. They would just make you miss him even more and cause your heart to hurt more than it already did. But you told him yes anyways, because you knew how excited he got to show you his shoots. He took so much pride in his work—you did, too—but seeing his pictures now made you feel like a child being teased with candy they would never get. You didn’t want pictures. You wanted the real thing. You wanted to hold him in your arms and feel his heartbeat from beneath his chest. You wanted to press kisses against the moles on his pretty face.

sunghoon ❄️ sent 5 images

His seemingly flawless physique, dressed to the nines in themed outfits in front of a gray backdrop, made your heart sink. And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, a familiar song started playing. It was one you had grown to love because it was a song that Sunghoon liked and played for you on one of your first dates. It wasn’t a love song in terms of the lyrics, but it had a bright vibe that Sunghoon liked and associated with you. So it became you guys’s song. And it was playing at a time when you missed him the most, giving you even more reason to want to go home.

Before you could notice and stop yourself, a tear dropped from the corner of your eye and down your cheek. You sniffled softly, shuffling through the pictures, admiring his beauty. The pictures were amazing, but they did little to quell the ache in your chest. The yearning you felt for him. So you locked your phone, wiped your cheek, and set out to find Mina to let her know you were going home.

Getting ready for bed with Sunghoon was one of your favorite parts of your day. You had a routine. You took your shower, then got everything ready for his. After he took his shower, he set out all of your skincare for you. You two brushed your teeth and did skincare together, sharing glances and smiles in the mirror before heading to bed. But without him, your night routine felt like a chore rather than something you looked forward to.

Nevertheless, you went through with a shower, brushing your teeth, and doing your skin care before slipping into bed. Your big, cold, empty bed. You sighed as you picked up your phone and texted Sunghoon again, letting him know you were going to sleep. He didn’t text back as soon as he usually did, so you figured he might have fallen asleep already. With a heavy heart, you held his pillow—which thankfully still smelt like him—in your arms and curled up to sleep.

You weren’t asleep for longer than an hour or two before you were awoken by a faint noise. In a groggy state, you looked up at the bedroom door, but it was closed and there was no sign of intrusion. You waited for another noise, but it never came, so you laid back down to sleep. As your eyes closed again, you heard another noise. The door was opening.

You shot up, turning on the lamp to get a better look at the intruder. Only it wasn’t an intruder.

“Sunghoon? You came home early?” your voice cracked from the lack of sleep and the tears you were choking back.

Your boyfriend set down his bags by the door, his silver hair tousled after he removed the hat he was wearing. He flashed an empathetic smile, the same smile that stole your heart over a year ago, “Yeah, the shoot I sent you was our last one. Our schedule went by quicker than they expected, so they sent us home. I was going to tell you, but I decided I wanted to surprise you.”

You maneuvered yourself to sit on your knees at the edge of the bed as he made his way to you. Honestly, you were upset he didn’t tell you he was coming home, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to get mad at him. He was here, and that’s all that mattered. You held out your arms for him, and he completed the embrace. His arms wound around your waist, pulling you against him as your arms circled his broad shoulders. You held him tighter than you ever had before, as if he would leave again if you let go.

“I’m sorry for waking you,” his voice was muffled into your shoulder.

“Don’t be. I’m just glad you’re finally home,” you pulled away only to take his cheeks in your hands, getting a good look at the face you had only seen in pictures for the past month. It was so much better in person. Sunghoon leaned

forward, placing a tender kiss to your lips. It was supposed to be a quick, sweet kiss, one that let you know he was also glad to be home with you. But it quickly turned into a fervent, desperate exchange of unspoken words, detailing your need for each other.

His gentle hands on your waist became authoritative, moving you as he wanted. Your hand went from his shoulder to the nape of his neck, threading into the hair there—it was longer than you remembered. He hummed with satisfaction against your lips as his grip on your hips nudged you back. You took his cue, falling back onto the sheets as he tugged his hoodie over his lean frame along with his t-shirt. His chest was still slightly muscular, showing that he had still kept up his weekly work outs. You admired his physique like this, without the ornate and flamboyant outfits he was made to wear during his photoshoots.

Once he was stripped down to his underwear, he joined you on the bed, his knees in the space between your own. You were still sat up, your face level with his chest while your eyes looked up into his. His hands took the bottom of your shirt, swiftly removing it with your help as you raised your arms. In seconds, he was shyly smiling at the sight of your chest. He captured your lips in a fiery entanglement again as he carefully got you onto your back. His nimble fingers traveled over your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake along your shoulders, breasts, stomach, before arriving at the hem of your shorts.

Your hands met his there, and you took it upon yourself to pull the garment off along with your underwear. Now you were bare for him, just waiting for him to make the next move. His eyes drank in your body, remembering all of the other times he had seen it. He still memorized all of the places that he had left marks before, but they were all gone. That was fine, though, because that just meant you were a blank canvas for him now. His fingertips skimmed over your knees, down your thighs, making you shiver, making him chuckle.

“Sensitive?”

You nodded, your breath quickening with anticipation.

“I know, it’s been too long,” he spoke softly as he leaned down to press another kiss to your lips. You gasped into his mouth as his cold fingers traced the warm outline of your cunt, making your thighs press together. He easily pushed them apart again, getting closer to you as he dipped two of his fingers between your folds. You weren’t wet enough yet, but it wouldn’t take long for you to get there. His lips left yours, teeth tugging your lower lip before his nose nudged your own. Your shaky breaths fanned over his sly smile, “Did you miss me?”

You groaned before you could answer properly; his fingers found your clit, “Mhm.”

“Yeah? How much?”

“So much, Hoon,” you pouted, teary eyes meeting his dreamy ones, “Twenty five days is

way too long.”

“You counted?” he laughed, breaking his sultry exterior momentarily.

“Of course I did.”

“You’re cute,” he grinned, his canines flashing under his curved lips.

“Please don’t ever leave for that long again,” you begged, hands on his chest. He kissed your cheek sweetly.

“I hope I don’t have to. But if I do, maybe you could come with me,” he said, “Then we won’t have to wait so long for moments like this, yeah?”

As he spoke, his fingers slipped slowly into you. He watched as your eyes fluttered shut, your pillowy lips opened, and your body melted into the mattress. When his knuckles met your skin, he pulled them back and thrusted them in again, building a shallow pace. While he prepped you, he took in all the sounds you made for him. Each one inflated his ego a bit more. He loved knowing how good he made you feel.

He tried to ignore the pulsing erection in his boxers while he fingered you, distracting the both of you with kisses on your collarbones and neck. Panted breaths and small moans left your parted lips while your body writhed under his touch. You had been waiting for this for almost a month, several nights spent trying to pleasure yourself with the thought of him to unsatisfying results. You grew so accustomed to him that it felt like he was the only one who knew your body, even more so than yourself.

“Fuck,” you whined as his fingers seemed to reach even deeper than before, curling into your warmth, “Missed you so much.”

“I know, baby,” he cooed against your ear, lips leaving searing sensations against it, “Did you use your toys for me?”

“Yes,” your voice felt strangled from how good his fingers felt between your legs. Your arousal was leaking out onto yours and his heated skin as well as the sheets underneath you, “Nothing felt as good as you.”

“You could’ve called me. Or FaceTimed me. I could’ve walked you through it,” he whispered, holding back a smirk when he pulled his fingers out of you and you whimpered.

“No, that would’ve just made me feel worse. I wanted you to touch me,” you said, watching with half-lidded eyes as he finally tugged off his boxers. His large hand wrapped around his length, feeling the blood rushing to it as he looked at you, laying in front of him with your spread legs and heaving breasts. Like you, he was aching for him to be inside of you. He reminded you about protection, and you swore you had never moved so fast before. You leaned over towards his of the bed, quickly pulling open the drawer and fishing for the box of Durexs he kept in there. He watched in amusement, lazily pumping his cock while you opened and unfurled a condom wrapper for him.

In just a minute he was sheathed in the rubber, using his hand to stroke the head of his cock between your wet lips. You were practically mewling for him, legs restless on either side of him as you begged him to fuck you. His eyes stayed trained on your cunt where every inch of him disappeared into you. He let out a low growl, head falling back in pleasure as he bottomed out. His breath wavered when you clenched around him, hips bucking up against his own. You needed him to move, you couldn’t take this anymore.

“Hoon, please,” you cried, hands grabbing at his toned arms. Your fingertips dug into his pale flesh, leaving bright white prints in his skin. He nodded, letting you know he heard you. Honestly, he just needed a moment to take it all in. Your heat. Your twitching. Your essence. It was almost too much for him already, and he had just started.

Sweat was beading at the edge of his hairline and on his back as he started a slow, sensual pace. Your grip on his forearm never lessened as he thrusted in and out of you, his breath ghosting over your chest as his head hung in front of you. His hands buried themselves in the sheets beside you, twisting the fabric between his knuckles as he grounded himself between your thighs. Your skin felt slick against his as you pulled him unbelievably closer.

You kissed his collarbones, taking in the sweet smell of his cologne. It smelled so much better on his skin than it did on his pillowcase. You hummed as you took in the fragrance, skimming your nose along his neck. You felt him tense under your fingers; you were tickling him. You smiled into the divot just below his neck, but a moan disrupted you when he jerked his hips a little forcefully into yours.

“You feel so good,” he grunted, leaning into you. You felt his soft lips on your clavicle before his sharp teeth pinched it, teasing you. His lips traveled to the other side of your neck, kissing up to your jaw, then your cheek, “You’re so pretty when you’re under me, you know that?”

You groaned in response, feeling yourself growing wetter. You could hear it too, and so could Sunghoon. With every rhythmic sway, his cock caused your pussy to squelch, your juices flowing out and onto him. You knew your sheets were soiled now, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You just wanted him to make you cum, to hell with anything else.

“You still with me, gorgeous?” he asked, hand

reaching up to caress your cheek. He pulled back to look you in the eyes. His dark brown eyes softened when they met your lust-filled irises. Your head indolently nodded in affirmation, a small smile on your lips.

“Did I fuck you dumb?” he joked, relentlessly pounding into you. His pace was getting sloppy and erratic as he felt himself getting closer to release.

“Wanna cum,” you muttered. Despite how desperately you wanted to orgasm, you could feel your body slowly losing energy. Sunghoon always teased you for being a pillow princess because he was usually the one putting in the work while you took whatever he gave you. It was times like this that solidified that, not that either of you minded. It was just your dynamic, and you both liked it this way.

“You will, baby, don’t worry.”

Almost instantly he was pressing his lips to yours, his soft tongue massaging your own while his thrusts became deeper, deliberate. The sound of his and your bated breaths mixed with the smacking of your skin and filled the silent room. His name left your mouth in a whine, and your back arched when you felt him cum into the condom inside of you.

He sat back on his knees, his thighs pressed up against the back of yours as he ground into your center with purpose. He groaned when you clenched around him again, and he realized you still needed to cum. So after a few seconds of recuperating, he shallowly thrusted again, his cock nudging your slick, pulsing walls.

“What do you want, baby?” he asked, his veiny hand snaking up to the side of your neck. His thumb caressed the column of your throat as his eyes bored into your own, “Wanna cum on my dick? Tongue? Fingers? Speak to me.”

“Don’t care,” you shook your head and spoke exasperatedly, “Just wanna cum.”

He laughed softly, biting his lip as he watched you dumbly hump him. You whimpered and moaned, hips rutting against him until you felt a tense sensation traveling to your lower stomach. It swelled in your womb and more of your essence flowed as you came, his thrusts keeping a steady pace. It was all you needed to finish, and you were left with spasming thighs and a tender cunt as you became limp underneath him.

Your body felt as if it was buzzing in the aftermath. Sunghoon’s body ached and trickled with sweat; it built up a little on his cupid’s bow and slipped down his temples onto his cheek. Your own skin was covered in a slick film of perspiration, but that didn’t stop your boyfriend from kissing it wherever he could reach.

You felt empty as he pulled out of you and left to dispose of the used condom. He returned with a washcloth to help clean you up, and then he lied beside you. Instantly, you were cuddling into his side, and he was welcoming your embrace. He praised you for being so good for him and apologized again for keeping you waiting for him for so long.

“It’s fine, I understand that it’s your job to travel. I just get lonely here without you,” you said, cheek pressed against his ribcage as your fingertips skated slowly over the expanse of his bare chest. It tickled a bit, but Sunghoon let you do it because he knew it relaxed you.

“Yeah, it was lonely in my little suite without you too. I missed our Friday dates,” you smiled through a yawn, and your boyfriend chuckled, “And on that note, I think we should get some sleep.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ thank you for reading! if you enjoyed this fic, please feel free to leave a like, reblog, and/or a message in my inbox! i would love to hear your feedback! ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

taglist 💌 [ join here ]

[ @drunkjaked @boba-beom @wakeyjaykey @aminatalks @bruh-changbin @fallinforgyu ]

[lilyswh0re]

it’s nice to have a (girl)friend - robin buckley

date: june 16, 2022

summary: robin’s a good “friend”

note: y/n is a fem bc robin is a lesbian but race and appearance isn’t mentioned. y/n uses she/her. this takes place the school year before season 3 and during season 3

warnings: nothing but fluff bc wlw/sapphics deserve media that isn’t centered around suffering and homophobia 🫶

a/n: ITS PRIDE MONTH AND I SHOULD HAVE A GF RN. also i think the gif is vvvv cute

tags: @we-stan-evie-frye @ghostofscarley @loverssfevers @limerenze

the air was crisp against your skin. you had dropped your gloves somewhere along the way to the bus stop in the morning and the indiana winter wasn’t very forgiving. “want mine?” robin asks.

“no, robin, it’s cold.”

she slips off one of hers and slips it onto your own hand, “compromise.” she smiles, lingering on your wrist. subtle touches like those warmed your heart. robin tugs on your coat sleeve, covering your exposed wrist.

“wanna hang out?” you ask, “i have my place to myself today.”

“yea, sounds like fun.” you lead her to your bus.

it’s stuffy in there with everyone’s coats and slippery boots.

“i forgot how much i hate your bus,” robin laughed lowly. hers happens to be more empty and have less band geeks with their bulky cases.

“it’s only fair, we always go to your house. i got a nintendo with a bunch of games. you can use it first.”

you were rambling about your plans once you arrived. only stopping when you feel robin’s hand in your pocket. she withdrew it with a downturnt smile.

uncrumpling the paper was a drawing of a flower inside a heart vase; written in it was: you look very pretty.

“i meant to give that to you in english.”

the butterflies were overwhelming. robin was your first almost girlfriend (almost because she hadn’t asked you out yet, and you were to nervous to ask her).

•••

school finally let out, the humidity was agonizing and the sun left anything that absorbed heat, sizzling. unfortunately, robin’s roof was black, which burned the back of your thighs. the temperature only started going down as the sun set, leaving a trail of pinks in her wake.

“is harrington going to replace me?”

robin tensed up at the mention of his name. you were only joking though. “harrington is such a doofus. no brain cells, all hair. i think all the hairspray killed them.” she sent you into a fit of laughter, almost causing you to roll off the roof.

she grinned as she gripped your hand to keep you stable. the sweatiness of her palms hushed your laugh in an instant. gasping for air, you lay closer to her.

the sun was done sinking at this point.

“do we have to get off any time soon?” your head rolled towards her, only to see that she was already looking at you.

“nah, no curfew. but i do have work tomorrow.” you nodded, “you should come in with me.”

“sure.” the apples of your cheeks hurt from smiling.

•••

some couple had gotten married as you were cruising through downtown hawkin. you weren’t around the church to see them as the bells rang, announcing their life long union. you only saw the aftermath of the rice on the corner.

“in some cultures that means bad luck,” robin stated, “we shouldn’t throw rice, you know?”

“well babe, i guess we won’t throw rice.” robin’s cheeks were blazing red.

“yea…babe.”

“let’s go home.”

robin kicks off on her bike, leading you home.

—————————————————————————————————————————

after reading note: yes i feminized the sun, suck it up 🫶 the sun and moon are sapphics, it’s a lesbian relationship. also i didn’t know how to write the final verse 💔

[starseungs]

➳ words i want to say. hhj

pairing: hwang hyunjin x gn!reader (ft. han jisung)

in which hyunjin decides to tell you the words he wants to say through voice messages. // wc: 2.1k

genre/s: angst, there's fluff in there if u squint (how the tables have turned), best friend / childhood friend hyunjin, unrequited love

warning/s: some swears but not excessive, hyunjin had a bad headspace for a while, fights (remembering), mentions of somewhat obsessive behavior

note: this is just something i've been wanting to write for a while! the vm concept was inspired by The Recovery Files Series by @thepixelelf, so go check out that one too^^

2022 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

⌦ Voice 001

Hmm...

Should I just write it? Ah… what am I doing? This is so awkward— it’s okay! It's all good. I can do this!

Well… maybe not. But I have to anyway. Why did I decide to record it first again? Stupid. The assignment is written. 

…

Hyunjin— just record what you want to say so you can rewrite it easier later.

Test, test… God, I'm getting cold sweat from this. Why am I so nervous?

So… okay. Psychology 325, Project— what? Did I just blank out from that? Ah, whatever.

Let’s just start over.

...

⌦ Voice 002

Psychology 325, Project “Words I Want To Say”. Entry by Hwang Hyunjin.

… Okay that’s funny. I didn’t need to say that. I’m just gonna rewrite this on a document file anyways.

But words I want to say… to whom? Damn it— I forgot to pick one. Just use whatever comes to mind.

…

Should I talk about Y/N?

This— this won’t be sent out right? The worst that could actually happen is just Professor Lee reading about it.

Yeah, that’ll do. Let me start over—

⌦ Voice 003

Hi, Y/N. This is Hyunjin. I know I’m not actually talking to you right now, or will you ever read this— well, unless my psych professor betrays me and forwards the final paper to you. Hopefully not.

… Do I include that in the final version? Nevermind, leave that to future me.

As I was saying, what I’m doing right now is for a psych class assignment. Professor Lee said to write a letter full of words we want to say. He didn’t exactly elaborate about what or whom, but I think that’s the point. You were the first thing that I thought of, so here are the things I want to say to you.

…

And there’s a lot more than you think—

⌦ Voice 004

Sorry about that. I was holding my phone and I guess the nerves got to me. I know you know I dropped it. You always did say I dropped things often.

And you were right. The other guys never pointed it out though. Maybe they haven’t noticed like you do… I guess that’s what made us best friends.

…

Best friends, huh. 

Is— is that all in the past now? Cause I still can't believe it…

… It was only like yesterday that we were still heading out to get something to eat whenever all our classes ended for the day. How many years was that our routine? From what I remember, we started it in 4th grade. 

Wow… 4th grade. Time flies so fast, huh? We used to be so small— and now we’re in college. Do you remember back when we first entered high school? You cried right after we got home because you didn’t want to grow up yet. But look at you now…

I’m proud of you.

Did I tell you that? I don’t think I ever did. And I regret that so much. More than you will ever know— more than you'll never know.

…

Y/N, what happened to us?

...

⌦ Voice 005

Ah… I got too emotional. I think I get why we had to do this now or maybe it’s just me. How could I not feel anything?

… After all, it’s you.

You know, there was never a time in my life where I imagined myself to be without you. From the moment I was born, you were already right there beside me. I always used to think that just like our moms, we’d be by each other's sides until we grew old.

And, well, looking at our current situation, it didn’t quite work out like I wanted after all.

…

I hate it. So much. How I’m even getting through the days— I don’t know myself.

It’s torture for me, Y/N. I miss you so much, and I can’t believe it’s my fault.

… Are you feeling the same way?

Tch. Probably not. You have that stupid boyfriend of yours. What? I know I’m right. You’re probably out there having a cute little date with— what’s his name? Han Ji whatever. 

That’s what I always heard from you anyways. Ji this, Ji that. He’s not even my friend, and yet I hear his nickname more than I hear mine. Do you even remember it? You used to call me Hyune by the way. Just reminding you. 

Now it’s just Hyunjin.

…

I’m sorry. I know this is so unfair to Ji whatever. He never did anything to me, and yet all I do is blame him for everything.

I don’t even know why—

⌦ Voice 006

For fucks sake, why do I keep getting cut off? My phone battery died. I didn’t even notice because I was so focused on this recording thing. 

…

But, I guess it was a good thing for it to die on me at that moment. I was starting to not think straight again. The last time that happened, we— yeah. This short break gave me some time to think about what I really wanted to say while waiting for my phone to have enough battery.

In the last message, I was going to say that I didn’t know why I was blaming Jisung so much— right, I remembered his name now. Could you at least be proud of me for this?

… Thank you. I can’t hear you right now, but I know you’d acknowledge my efforts. Those years of us being friends aren’t for nothing to me, you know? I think I can say that I know you well enough. You’re the same for me.

Actually— I think you might know me better than I do myself. And while I know other people would find that annoying, the thought was quite comforting to me. That someone cared enough for me to know me more than I did. 

Yeah. That.

You were my comfort, Y/N. 

Always there for me, even in times where you really didn’t need to. Of course— I did that for you as well. Anything and anytime you want me to. I’d do it if it was for you. To me, you were my other half. And I loved it.

I loved you.

…

That was why I blamed Jisung for breaking us apart. 

He— he was never in the future I created for ourselves. And I know that’s where it went all wrong. I really should’ve…considered chances of us having significant others. But I didn’t— no.

I refused to.

Just the mere thought horrified me beyond belief. I wanted us to be… well, only us. I was selfish. An absolute fool. A madman in love.

I had my own wonderland inside of my head. And I kept the thought of you as a prisoner.

It was ridiculous Y/N. I can’t even believe I did that.

…

But I’ve changed. And still changing. Truthfully, I’m not saying that for you to come back to me. I’m saying this for myself. Hwang Hyunjin has thought of his actions and its consequences, and is now working on changing himself for the better. 

I— I don’t care if you don’t believe me because I’m not pleading with you to. I’m not even gonna ask for your forgiveness, because I know it’s not my right to tell you how to feel.

But I want to at least explain. For me, and for your peace of mind.

...

⌦ Voice 007

Should I start from when I realized I liked you? Yeah, then I’ll just progress from there.

Hmm…I think it was middle school. 2nd Year. It was that day when you were rejected by the first crush you ever confessed to. I remember how sad you were and had the instant thought to beat up that person. I never did it by the way, in case you’re worried. I may have jammed his locker a bit, but that’s about it. You wouldn’t want me in trouble. 

Going back to that event, I honestly thought I was thinking about it from a brotherly light. It didn’t last long though— cause I also told myself that I could be a much better boyfriend to you. Brotherly light my ass, what kind of brother wants to date their sibling?

… You know what, don’t answer that. At all.

Anyways— that was when I realized I did like you in that way. As to when I exactly started liking you…I don’t know. Maybe it was just something that developed over the years. 

By now I think you’re wondering why I never confessed to you, am I right?

Uh… It’s quite an underwhelming answer actually. As cliche as it is, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I did want to try, but it was so obvious you didn’t see me in that light—

Oh God, now my previous actions just sound silly now. How did that not stop me from making some kind of imaginary world? Maybe I do need help. Changbin’s good at giving advice, maybe I can talk to him.

You do know Changbin right? He’s friends with Jisung as well. It’s funny how we have multiple mutual friends but we’ve barely interacted. I guess that’s just how the world works sometimes.

…

Speaking of Jisung— it’s time to talk about that isn’t it?

That night.

… I’ll tell you my point of view. And— I hope it can give you clarity.

I remember you coming over to my apartment after your last class. Normally, we would be getting food by then, but I had a massive headache that morning and decided to skip everything I had that day. Granted, my headache was already long gone by the time you arrived… So that really doesn’t excuse what I did next.

I was so glad to see you. After being sick, all I wanted was to be with you. To talk to you about your day…

Yet, all I heard was about Jisung.

And maybe it was valid. He was your day, the current sun in your life. If I could love you, why couldn’t you be in love with him too?

That’s what I think of now. Back then— not so much.

Jisung was definitely a sun. For you, it was positive. He lit up your days, and became the light you had in dark times. But for me… it was nothing short of negative. 

He was a source of light I had to constantly fight over. A burning sensation that left me to suffer with the pain.

If he was the sun, I was the moon.

So close, yet still the one being pushed aside.

Hearing about him made me so mad. Each mention of him clawed at my heart and released my deepest insecurities. And that’s why I ended up yelling at you that night.

…

I just wanted it to stop hurting.

That, maybe if I did that, you’d finally see me too. Maybe you’d see how much pain I was in before I realized it myself, just like before.

But instead— I ended up hurting you.

I said too many unnecessary things. Words that were formed from my hatred and boiled from the heat of the moment. And at some point, I ended up hating you too.

Hating you was never an option I considered. You were an angel to me. And I was that human you liked enough to be blessed by your presence.

Now, I’ve come to the realization that you were human too. Just like me. That I was once again putting you on a pedestal for myself.

Who knows, maybe my love for you isn’t even love— though that might just completely break me for good.

…

I don’t hate you. I know that’s the last thing I told you before we stopped all contact, but I don’t.

At that moment, I guess part of me did resent you for hurting me. But it wasn’t just your fault. I also fanned the flame that would roast me alive on my own accord.

That’s why I’m so sorry for putting all the blame on you. I now understand the barrier you put between us. I'm the best friend, but he's your significant other. That being said, I'm sorry for all I’ve said about Jisung too. 

As much as I hate to admit it, he’s a great guy from what I’ve heard.

…

That’s all I have to say, really. I do feel a lot lighter now having done this. I know— hmm. I was planning to not send this to you at all, but maybe I will now.

You deserve closure as well.

…

I hope you live your life to the fullest. I’ll try to do that now too. Maybe one day our paths will cross again. By then, let’s be better versions of ourselves, yeah?

Thank you, Y/N.

For everything.

These are the words I want to say to you.

...

This voice message has ended.