#(i wanted to write 2022 cause i forgot how time works)

[courfee]

yes i used that dean scene as a reference, sue me

[httpknjoon]

recently with the a-listers... | ksj

plot | A dating rumor with another personality there, a Taylor Swift collab here. This is one of the confusing days to be in the a-listers fandom.

words | 1.4k+

genres | humor/crack, fluff, angst, actors!au

pairing | actor!jin x famous!reader

note | usernames used in the fic are all fictional.  this was set in September to October 2022.  I love writing for this series! feel free to send me your bets for the a-listers! Enjoy reading.

main masterlist | drabble series

JIN Spotted Out With Model Lee Sung Kyung Four Months After Rumored Girlfriend Y/N Takes A Hiatus

The Hollywood actor and international model were spotted together, walking out of a restaurant in New York on Wednesday night. According to many eyewitnesses inside the restaurant, the two were seen chatting and dining alone at Carbone’s. The ‘Still Alive’ actor and the Chanel brand ambassador were even heard laughing about something on JIN’s phone.

Lee wore a Chanel three-piece pink tweed coordinates and white ankle boots while JIN picked out a classy black suit. Both celebrities have their individual appearances for that day’s schedule for New York Fashion Week. The model walked the runway for Chanel while the actor attended the Tom Ford couture show.

Paparazzi captured images of the famous personalities walking out of Carbone’s quietly and not answering any questions. The two were seen fleeing the scene separately in their own cars.

This was the first time the two were seen together in public. As everyone knows, JIN has always been rumored to be in a relationship with actress, Y/N, for years now. It was never confirmed. But the said actress suddenly took a hiatus earlier this year to the surprise of the fans. Without any clear reasons for this sudden break, fans were left to speculate. It sparked buzzes about breakups, pregnancy, and changes in career choices.

But with this recent sighting of the actor on a date with a new female personality, it can be safe to say that JIN is back in the market again.

It was chaos and madness all over the internet. Everyone, even the general public, expressed their surprise at the images from that said sighting. News outlets and gossip pages are having a blast while the fans were like sailors in a storm, not knowing what to do with their ship.

@/PopCrave: JIN and Lee Sung Kyung spotted out in New York City during New York Fashion Week. [insert photos]

@/YNJINUpdates: putangina???? [translated: son of a bitch????]

@/se0kjinsyn: i swear every time i come back here in twt, shit happens 😤😤

@/maybemaybeyn: i miss you user YNOFFICIAL 😔

@/jinhourly: oh my god people calm down

@/jinhourly: it’s not like yn and jin ever confirmed their relationship and sungkyung is probably just a friend!

@/ynstanonly: wbk that 🤡 is just with yn for clout

@/cloudedmoon: THIS IS PROBABLY FOR PR 🤔 

@/YNJINUpdates: We are sorry for the last tweet. One of our account handlers forgot to switch accounts.

The whole news caused a big stir and division among your fans and Sungkyung’s supporters. Of course, everyone wants to defend whoever they support.  It resulted in names and words being on Twitter’s trend list for the whole day. Including the tag: YNJIN IS OVER. It didn’t benefit that there were also immature fans from both sides that said some words. It was just a relief that your, Jin’s, and Sungkyung’s Instagram posts have their comment section limited. 

@/YNUpdates: Please refrain from interacting with malicious articles. We won’t tolerate hate sent to anyone. Be kind, ppl 💖

But no matter how messy the fandoms got after the articles, each celebrity went on their life, unbothered. Sungkyung still got three shows for that fashion week. Jin didn’t have any public appearances again and it was unknown to his fans if he was working on something. And you, you went on your break. Your fans don’t have any idea about what you were doing but they hoped that you are doing well.

Just when everyone thought that the fire is already cool, another photo and news article dropped.

JIN and Lee Sung Kyung stroll around on a morning coffee date in Cambridge

Kim, 29, and Lee, 32, were captured by a local fan in Cambridge, Massachusetts chatting and walking on the streets with cups of coffee on the chilly morning of September. The two seemed to be in good spirits while strolling the city with smiles and laughter as they talk. The actor wore a casual outfit: a green knitted sweater while the model is seen wearing a beige coat over her white turtleneck. The fan who took the said photos didn’t get to know where the two celebrities were heading but shared that the two seemed to know each other well.

This is the second sighting of Jin and Sung Kyung together after sparking dating rumors two weeks ago after being spotted in New York City with one another. 

Fans were divided by the news, especially since the actor was always linked to another Hollywood A-lister, Y/N. The romantic relationship between the two was never confirmed. But also, never denied. Sources claimed that the two broke up badly which later resulted in Y/N taking a break last April to recover.

Nonetheless, Jin seemed to be confirming these claims as he openly go out with Sung Kyung.

More tweets were expressed. A scary mix of emotions from fans was represented through social media: anger, confusion, and sadness. The fans don’t know what to do and what to believe in. There are even theories made online about all of this.

Due to the growing amount of gossip and confusion, teams from both personalities had to finally comment on the rumor. Their public relations teams only responded with a shared statement for the news outlets that kept on asking for the artists’ response. Which, both Jin and Sung Kyung denied the rumor.

Although it caused relief to some fans, it didn’t stop fans who love to make theories out of everything. 

@/hellojinnie: maybe they just denied it to stop the hate toward them

There are fans who claimed that the two are really in a relationship. They just had to deny it in public to stop the hate that’s pointed to the celebrities. Some also claimed that Jin probably cheated on you with Sung Kyung. But again, none of the claims were ever verified.

On the other side of the show business industry, Taylor Swift has been doing these TikTok series for announcing the titles of the tracks in her upcoming album, Midnights. The series was called Midnights Mayhem with Me. it caused excitement to the singer’s fans. Especially when her collaboration with Lana Del Ray was announced in the last part of the series.

But what really adds to the joy on the day of the release of the said album was when the songwriters were publicized.

@/PopCrave: Y/N is back co-writing songs for Taylor Swift. She wrote songs for the album.

You’re On Your Own Kid, Midnight Rain, Labyrinth, and Sweet Nothing were the titles of the songs you co-wrote. Instantly, your fans rejoiced with the reveal. They were happy to see you back working again with the singer and thrilled to hear the songs. And when they did, it has some great reactions.

@/ynswifties: i swear all the songwriting credits under yn’s belt is gold

@/REPUT4TION: taylor & yn both grew up in the toxic industry & chose to write a song about it

@/goodnightnjin: y/n co-writing labyrinth :(( oh my heart

@/sunshinecatlady: just listened to labyrinth 🥺

Replying to @/sunshinecatlady

– @/sunshinecatlady: i really hope that you are happy and safe right now, love. u deserve it 🥺💝

@/sayhell0: midnight rain is about leaving a relationship with a person who’s been wanting to settle down…

Replying to @/sayhell0

– @/marigolds4bubbles: oh…

@/s0ngsynwr0te: sweet nothing is like sweetest love letter ever 🤍

@/YNJIN1208: i can imagine ynjin while listening to sweet nothing. I miss them sm

@/whoisyn: someone stop me from making theories about ynjin after hearing midnight rain!

To celebrate the release of the songs, you posted a series of Instagram stories. The first one was a picture of your hand on Francheskat while she sleeps with the song, Sweet Nothing. Then, you posted something with a question sticker that says, come on, send me something! 🤠

Fans were overjoyed and within minutes thousands of questions were being sent to you. Of course, you only answered a few of them with random pictures on the background of the Instagram Story.

You were asked how are you, and you replied with a selfie of yourself sipping from a teacup. The photo was really close to your face. With a reply, “Thank you for asking, love. I’m feeling wonderful today. Been reading a lot of books and drinking green tea! 😊✨ I really hate coffee rn…”

Someone asked what was your favorite song from the four tracks you co-wrote, and you replied: midnight rain and you’re on your own, kid ❤️

One of the last questions you replied to was a random question that probably caused murmurs in your fandom: tips to move on from a long term relationship?

You replied with an image of the clouds: take some time for yourself. cry if u need it. Feel every emotion u feel. don’t be afraid to explore the world of singleness again 💕 

taglist rules

THE A-LISTERS TAGLIST

@seolaquotes @bangtannieshope @jub-jub @yoontaethings @kissme-ornot @sleepy-daydreams @veronawrites @cuteipat @ratherbefangirling @babystarcandy-gcf @akirawhore @alpacaparkaseok @rjsmochii @lovesickbangtan @zealouslightcookiebasketball @rapmonie2047 @btsiguess-kpop @angelarin @walkinganxiety @tpwk-280 @bloopkook @stopeatread @yoooonie @amara-mars @firesighgirl @zwiehe @hiii-priestess @lojocas @juju-227592

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd​ @cixrosie​ ​@jksjx​ @embrace-themagic ​ @buttvi​ @starbtslove​ @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @pixybear @miyukihoshi

[jmvore]

PLEASE NOTE: Clicking any link posted in this section will take you to a new site. These are not and WILL NOT be posted on Tumblr. - ALSO NOTE: this is a list of BTS!fanfiction I have archived (with a few that I've forgot but are gone because I deleted both blogs xD). Anywho, I hope you read these as well.

» Legend › Smut [🔞] | Fluff [☀] | Angst [☁] | Completed [✓] | Writing [✍] | Incomplete [🛑] | On Hiatus [❌] » Note › All Stories are Female Reader Insert Unless Stated Otherwise. » Created › 09.05.2023  » M. List(s) › Namjoon | Jimin | Taehyung | Seokjin | Hoseok | Yoongi | Jungkook | AO3

BTS

FEATURING TWO OR MORE MEMBER(S)

♕ | KINKTOBER 2022-2023 [✍] M: OT7 | AU: DIFFERENT AU'S | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » ❝ A ton of different short stories based on a bunch of kinks and alternative universes I wanted to write about. ❞

♕ | OUTWORLD (1/10) [✍] | CHAPTER FIC M: JUNGKOOK & YOONGI | AU: ABO | Rating(s): 🔞☁☀ ╰› Synopsis » You discover a myth of a wolf with snow-white fur and blood-red eyes. You and Jungkook find yourselves in the middle of a battle between the young wolf and the hunters who seem to want him for personal gain. It becomes a fight to keep him safe as well as your home but when the wolf imprints on you, things take a turn. Dark Magic, Curses and Poison causes damage, chaos, and grief.

♕ | BANGTAN DRABBLES (21/21) [✓] M: OT7 | AU: SUB!bts/SLICE OF LIFE | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » ❝ Just a book of BTS imagines that I wrote a long time ago. Warning! Some stories may be a trigger for some and I'll try my best to put a warning on those but, for the most part, these stories are smut, fluff and a little bit of angst.❞

♕ | A SWEET TASTE A FINER DELICACY (21/25) [❌] | CHAPTER FIC M: JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: SLICE OF LIFE/MASSEUR/SUGAR DADDY | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » It was a place Jungkook wouldn't dare be caught in. Being the Vice President of GC Records, his father warned him about every scandal that could arise but this... This wasn't one of them. Jungkook's curiosity gets the better of him as he doesn't know why he's standing in this building waiting to be seen. Maybe it was the murmurs of one of his employees or maybe it was the stress and tension that needed to be released. All he knows is that his interest was peaked.

♕ | YOU WERE MINE (9/15) [✍] | CHAPTER FIC M: JUNGKOOK, JIN, & HOSEOK | AU: YANDERE/TATTOO ARTIST | Rating(s): 🔞☁ ╰› Synopsis » You've avoided Jin since your messy breakup. Enters Jungkook, someone you'd grown to love and care for. But, with the shift in feelings-- you make it a point to avoid everyone associated with the two brothers. Well, at least tries to but with how Jungkook felt that was a little easier said than done. Jungkook has a soft spot for you, everyone knew it. Jin knew it and he hated it but, what happens when that soft spot turns into something else?

♕ | BLUE & GREY [❌] | ON HIATUS M: JUNGKOOK, JIMIN & YOONGI | AU: MAFIA | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » You come home late and tired from a hards day of work. They don’t seem to mind since they have other ways for you to make it up to them.

♕ | BIRTHDAY TREATS [✓] M: JUNGKOOK NAMJOON, & JIMIN | AU: HYBRID/POLY | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » It’s your birthday and they wanted to do something really special for you.

♕ | 07 WAYS TO KISS YOUR HYBRID [✓] M: JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: POLY/HYBRID | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » You come home late and tired from a hards day of work. They don’t seem to mind since they have other ways for you to make it up to them.

♕ | RED MOON [✓] M: JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: DEMON/INCUBUS/SUCCUBUS | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Drawn to the soul's desperation, Jungkook finds himself confused with how and why his best friend and his friend’s girlfriend is standing naked right in front of him, smirking at him like he's a piece of meat. He likes it, maybe too much but he doesn’t know what he’s gotten himself into either. Either way, it’s a dream come true.

♕ | LOVE ME HARDER  [✓] M: YOONGI, TAEHYUNG, JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: POLY/STEP-FAMILY | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » You knew it was going to happen eventually. Your mother finding someone new to call her own but what you didn’t expect was to fall into bed with said man and his sons. You knew it was wrong, knew you shouldn’t have done it but... You can’t help but love the attention your new family is giving you (even if it’s at the cost of your mother’s happiness).

♕ | WILDEST DREAM(S) [✓] M: JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: POLY/HYBRID | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » You come home late and tired from a hards day of work. They don’t seem to mind since they have other ways for you to make it up to them.

♕ | YOU IN ME [✓] | Written w/ @/jkeuphoriadreamland M: JUNGKOOK & JIMIN | AU: Best Friend Brother | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ☁ ╰› Synopsis » Falling on hard times, Jimin moves in with his brother. He’s been a pain in the ass since you could remember, but when he decides to make things right, you’re suddenly unsure if you were willing to accept his apology.

♕ | RATED R [✓] M: JIMIN & YOONGI | AU: POLY/PUBLIC | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Sex in public places wasn’t really the norm for you like it was for them. So, when they told you they wanted to fool around in the movie theatre, you were skeptical at first but you slowly gave in.

Jeon Jungkook (8 Stories Total)

♕ | LOVE LIES (2/2) [✓] | | CHAPTER FIC AU: SUB!bts/SLICE OF LIFE | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » Jungkook more or less has been the person who brought you your food every time you ordered. Being a regular customer with the Grubbin’ app, whenever your name pops up he makes sure he’s the first to get it. What you don’t know is he’s been trying to work up the courage to ask you on a date. Will you accept?

♕ | PARTY FAVORS [✓] AU: SUB!bts/SLICE OF LIFE | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » You’ve been shopping all day for his little get-together but, he can’t stop playing Overwatch long enough to help you set up.So, you take it upon yourself to show him what happens when he disobeys.

♕ | WET [✓] AU: SLICE OF LIFE | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Your cousin, Jimin, pool party was in full effect and you looked to see that Jungkook wasn’t in his swimwear, so what do you do? Push him in the pool. And he’s pissed. It doesn’t help that he’d been craving you all day, seeing as you’ve been walking around in nothing but, a bikini but this was the final straw.

♕ | BITTERSWEET JEALOUSY [✓] AU: SUB!bts/IDOL | Rating(s): 🔞☀☁ ╰› Synopsis » Still after all this time, Jungkook can’t control his jealousy when he sees you with other people. You’ll just have to teach your baby boy a lesson.

♕ | I’LL MISS YOU, KITTEN (2/2) [✓] AU: IDOL | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis» Your girl group and BTS are in the midst of touring. You and Jungkook have been sneaking around along with a couple of yours and his members too. He just wants to show you how much he misses you.

♕ | DO YOU TRUST ME? [✓] AU: ARRANGED MARRIAGE | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » there’s something wrong, you can tell when he comes home just a little too distant and when you find him breaking down in your bedroom, you want nothing more but to comfort him in the best way you know how, though he wants your love in another way.

♕ | I BELIEVE YOU [✓] AU: NON-IDOL | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Jungkook tells you all the time that you’re beautiful, it’s up to you if you believe him or not. -or- Your boyfriend Jungkook knows how insecure you are and tries to make you feel better.

♕ | LEVIATHAN [✓] AU: SUPERNATURAL | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Jungkook reddened eyes watched you dance by yourself, his body yearning for yours– his throat thirsty for your blood.

Park Jimin (10 Stories Total)

♕ | THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT PARK JIMIN [🛑] | CHAPTER FIC AU: HYBRID/SLICE OF LIFE | Rating(s): 🔞☀ | fennec fox!jm ╰› Synopsis » There’s something special about being able to just appreciate life and everything that it gives you. who is Jimin to complain, honestly? he has his kits, his soon-to-be wife and even now everything seems as if it’s too good to be true.

♕ | IN DUE TIME [🛑] | CHAPTER FIC AU: STEP-BROTHER | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Who would've thought your step-brother would have fallen for you. And you with him. keeping secrets is hard but, it's more than worth it when you're desperate to be with the one you love.

♕ | KISS IT BETTER BABY [✓] | fennec fox!jm AU: SUGARBABY/HYBRID | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Typical movie night has become a big thing for you and your hybrid boyfriend but, soon touches turn to kisses which soon turns to him laying on his back at your mercy.

♕ | BBYBOYMINIEXO WANTS TO PLAY [✓] AU: SUB!bts/non-IDOL | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Using Euphoria as his stress reliever, he found you. Now if only he can keep you and make you his.

♕ | HE NEEDS MY LOVE [✓] AU: SUB!bts/SUGA BABY | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Jimin just misses you and what better way to show you then to tease you while you’re at work.

♕ | ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU [✓] AU: SUB!bts/SUGA BABY | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Jimin wants to do something nice for you so, what better way to do that than to cook for you and greet you with your favorite lingerie on.

♕ | LEVIATHAN: A BITE OF YOU [✓] AU: SUPERNATURAL | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Park Jimin was livid. Not only had you left the club with his enemy but, you ended up sleeping with him too. You belong to him and now, a punishment is the only thing that seems to get that through your pretty little head.

♕ | BABY BOY [✓] AU: SUB!bts/SUGA BABY | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » he’s your baby boy who just wants to be praised and of course, you can’t help but give him what he wants even after he’s been a bad boy.

♕ | OH, PRETTY LITTLE FOX [✓] | fennec fox!jm AU: SUB!BTS/HYBRID | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » He's been keeping it a little secret, something he's been wanting to try but when you confront him about it he's more than willing to share.

MIN YOONGI

♕ | BABY GIRL [🛑] AU: IDOL/ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » Phone sex had become a regular for you two while he was on tour and with that came teasing since he couldn’t get to you but, what happens when he’s finally home?

KIM NAMJOON

♕ | RENDEZVOUS [✓] AU: IDOL/ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP | Rating(s): 🔞☀ ╰› Synopsis » He's supposed to be fixing the roof to your shower not having sex with a tenant.

© ᴊᴍᴠᴏʀᴇ/ɢᴏᴏɢɪᴇᴋᴏᴏ/ʜᴛᴛᴘ-ᴘᴊᴍ | ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛ(ꜱ) ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ  DO NOT COPY, REPOST, OR TAMPER WITH ANY OF MY WORK. Even if it isn't posted here it is still mine and I do not consent to it being posted on YouTube, WattPad, or any other fanfiction website. Thank you.

[mane--attraction]

Jotun Physiology Headcanon (with respect to one Loki Laufeyson)

A/N: I FORGOT I STARTED WRITING THIS. I created the draft on October 16, 2020 :,) I think the last time I edited it before this week was like 2022.

 A bit different than what's been on this blog so far, but I've had this concept for years and figured I'd put it out there in my own way. :)

MINORS DNI

Regardless of how “bestial” they are or not (the Asgardians are not exactly reliable narrators), the Jotuns are creatures of the cold; this much is clear. Therefore, one might assume that physical activities that generate too much heat would be less than ideal, especially ones that require skin-to-skin contact, even if they want to engage in it. So, for the continuation of their species, biology might have given them a further incentive: aphrodisiac sexual fluids. Ingesting it (both male and female fluids) is the most immediate way to gain any effects, although the chemicals that create the aphrodisiac portion can also be absorbed through the various membranes during sex (male-giving), although the results aren't as pronounced as swallowing the fluids.

So. Back to Loki. :)

Similar to how he is unable to cause frostbite and other Jotun things in his Asgardian illusion, the effects are less pronounced when Loki appears Asgardian. That isn’t to say it doesn’t work, because it definitely does, but not to the same extent as when he is visually a Frost Giant; in general, the effects double (at a minimum) in his true natural state. Asgardians are not affected much: they just get essentially a buzz, a little push; they may grow warm, a little extra arousal, but nothing major. Humans, being far removed from the conditions of the rest of the Nine Realms (magic and other various things that I have no knowledge of), are far more susceptible to its effects: even a fraction of fluid is enough to start something—a heat in the loins, quickening of the heart, an increased desire...and a full “dose”? Burning need, stronger than the most turned on a person has ever been, enough to take over their thoughts entirely, if it's allowed to get that far. And such an all-consuming desire can only be fulfilled in one way: engaging in sex with the one who caused this altered state. And, even then, it's a bit of a cyclical thing, because the more fluids enter the body, the longer the effects last...but if one does not fuck, then one will be incapacitated for at least a day or few, if not more, depending on how much has been consumed. And this is just the baseline from his Asgardian default; from his Jotun form, expect to become delirious with a need that nothing on Earth could even hope to instill in a person, enough to feel like one will go mad.

Side note: There is no such thing as "a little bit of cum" for male Frost Giants. Naturally, they're typically, well, giants, so it's proportional (mostly). This means that Loki produces an...excessive amount when compared to an Asgardian or a human, regardless of which form he takes. Not typically enough to overflow as an Asgardian, it's a bit more within believability then. As a Jotun, prepare to have him leaking down your thighs. Y'know, if your mind isn't leaking out of your head from wanting him so badly. :)

Did I write this whole thing just to excuse the fact that I wanted Loki to have aphrodisiac cum to write a couple particular scenes that may or may not ever be posted? Yes, yes I did.

[voylitscope]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @somanywords and @zenaidamacrouras1 💞 Thank you both for the tag! 💞

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

34.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

438,009

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily MCU (17). I've also got Original Work (12), and there are a few fandoms I wrote one/two fics for.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All Stucky:

1. There Are Strangers I Have Yet to Become 

2. We Set a Precedent, and Now I’m Living With It

3. I Held You in Gloved Hands (And I’m Not Letting Go)

4. There’s a Light (I Find It at Your Side) 

5. If I Could Stop the Clock With You Tonight  (Technically, this isn't true. There is a fic I wrote in 2015 that is my Fic That Blew Up fic. It is my all-time most kudos'd fic by quite a lot. It's a one-shot I wrote in about four hours. It is in pretty small fandom. This fic is, to do this day, one of the top fics when you sort by kudos both for this ship and in the fandom in general. I still get kudos on this fic all the time. I got 5 overnight last night. So, unless I write something else that completely blows up, nothing will ever catch this fic. There's no chance. It will always actually be my number one most kudos'd.

There are two other older fics of mine that would slot into my top five by kudos -- one would actually be two all-time currently. But in the case of those two, that's largely because they've got time on their side.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! Sometimes it takes me a little while, but I always do. I love comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I was going to say I didn't really have fics with angsty endings, but that's a lie. I forgot about these two pre-war, unreliable-narrator-Bucky one-shots: But You Can Hold Me (Only 'Cause It's a Cold Night in Brooklyn)  You're a Gem but Not a Saint

And thinking about it, I guess Darling, Let's Take Our Time (While It's Still Ours To Take) is probably also pretty angsty, just because of the circumstances.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think some of my fics are just really happy overall, tone-wise, so the ending hits happy, too. Most of all We Set a Precedent, and Now I’m Living With It, I think? And i feel like the ending of I Held You in Gloved Hands (And I’m Not Letting Go) really cements the rom-com vibes there. Also, in my original stuff, people seem to really like the ending of Secretly, I’m Hoping for the Dare Again, and I completely get that. It's a very happily-ever-after sort of ending. So, I'd say those three.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't. I occasionally get comments that make me uncomfortable, but nothing I'd call hate at all.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I very much do. As for kind, I use the porn with feelings tag a lot, if that counts as a kind, ha. I think. I do get a lot of comments about my smut being sweet, or romantic, or sometimes even oddly wholesome, ha. I mean, like I said, Secretly, I’m Hoping for the Dare Again, has one of my very happiest endings, and I wrote that as a gift fic for the 2022 BDSM exchange. So, that probably says something about my smut style? I think?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't. Unless you count putting characters into other universes as a crossover, even if they don't interact with that universe's characters? But I feel like that's more just an AU than a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not one that's on my currently being-used AO3, but yes.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, a few times, but not in years.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Honestly, it's Stucky.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hate to say never on anything, but there are several things sitting in my drafts that I haven't touched in so long. It's probably equally unlikely I'll ever finish any of them.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Tone/mood-setting and character voice, probably?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I find describing some actions so difficult, especially when specific things need to happen for plot purposes. Like, any sort of action sequence/confrontation/athletic event/etc sequence is a struggle. It's harder when there are more people involved. Transitioning in and out of scenes is also Not My Favorite.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it, most heavily in Will You Keep a Candle Burning? (Will You Let Me Come and Stay?)  and its prequel one-shot. Although, there were also several more Wanda lines in my earliest draft of I Held You in Gloved Hands (And I’m Not Letting Go) but I think only... one? two? of those ended up in the final version. I enjoy including it, and I think it can really add a lot for characters/characterization.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

This was a question on a similar meme months ago, and I honestly didn't remember. I've Wayback Machined myself since then, and my very first fic ever up on fanfiction.net (in November of 2006, apparently) was a Harry Potter fic. I'm not positive it's the first thing I ever wrote, but it is the first fic I ever put up online, so.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is so difficult! I am always tempted to just say that Will You Keep a Candle Burning? (Will You Let Me Come and Stay?)  is my favorite/the best thing that I've written. It's 116k! There is a lot of plot! There is so much character development! It's also the story I wrote and liked so much that it pushed me to get back on AO3/sharing my writing on line. Because I just wanted someone else to read it. So it's hard to separate it from the way writing it has impacted my life over the past couple of years.

But there are a few others I do like. For two that aren't in my top five by kudos or mentioned anywhere else in this post so far -- I'm so fond of the Steve and Bucky in We Were Strangers for Far Too Long, and I loved writing this one. I also really like this The Secret Garden fic I wrote for an exchange: So I Could Blend in With the Sky.

No pressure tags for @dharmasharks @sparkagrace @dontcallmebree @musette22 and @thisonesatellite

[astoldbygingersnaps]

HARPER’S 2022 FIC WRAP-UP

WELL GANG, WHAT A YEAR IT HAS BEEN!

first off, i know i’ve fallen off A Lot on tumblr in the last year, so my deepest and most sincere apologies for that. 2022 was a chaotic, frustrating, and overall deeply transformative year (for both better and worse) for me, and with all the changes/struggles in my professional and personal life it’s been difficult to maintain a decent posting schedule along with like. continuing to talk to people and function as a human being lmfao.

alas, another year has come to an end, and though i considered not doing my annual wrap-up, it’s become something of a tradition for me at this point, so fuck it, we ball.

without further ado, let’s talk fanfic:

projects i updated/completed in 2022:

oceans between us (shiita; 38,737 words; complete)

it’s a testament to how heinously long and strange this year was that when i sat down to draft up this wrap-up i genuinely fucking forgot i finished this fic in 2022. wild!

like a lot of fics i write (or want to write, and then do not) this fic was born from an attachment to a particular image or idea that inspired inspiration and then i had to pull a whole plot out of my ass to justify its existence. this was very much the case with the first chapter of ‘oceans between us’ aka atonement au, where the spirit of doomed historical romances and period-typical repression and sexual tension possessed me like a ghost and caused me to cough up the first chapter of that fic in like two days. i also wanted to write something that was very different than the typical character interactions and tone that existed in my previous works, and even looking back on it now i still think it’s a really unique and interesting addition to the works i’ve published thus far.

like i’ve said before, originally this was going to be a oneshot that ended where the first chapter does, i.e. with shisui going to jail and the relationship between him and itachi purposefully left without resolution. but that idea reeeeally much did not go over well when i discussed it with other people (aka my wife), which left me with the very real problem of how to conclude this goddamn fic. and that’s where itachi came in.

hilariously, i feel like this fic ushered in an unofficial (and accidental) era of itachi pov takeover where nearly everythng i wrote last year (and definitely everything i published in 2022) was in itachi’s pov exclusively. that said, after the events at the end of the last chapter, it felt necessary to have itachi tell the final chapter because i knew i needed to have a good explanation for his lack of action at the conclusion of chapter one and i also needed to get people back on his side for the end of the fic to land successfully.

in terms of structure, the switching of tenses and time periods was both incredibly fun and incredibly annoying in terms of editing and consistently, but i do feel like it added an immediacy and level of fear to the fic that enhanced the reading. if you’ve read the original book, you know that the characters itachi and shisui are (loosely) based on (cecilia and robbie) both die and never have their happy ending in real life, only in fiction. so i wanted the reader to feel real concern that these two crazy kids might not make it after all.

overall, i ended up being really, really happy with how this fic turned out, and some of my favorite scenes i’ve ever written (namely, the reunion scene between shisui and itachi in the cafe) are in this story. more than anything, it was just nice to start the year by finishing something.

lazarus taxon (shiita; 38,256 words; in progress)

quite frankly, this fic was the bane of my existence in 2022 for a variety of reasons.

first off, this chapter was an absolute Nightmare to write. as many of you may remember, initially i had planned jurassic world au as a three-part fic, whereas now it is... not quite that anymore. having written and published the first two chapters within a pretty short timespan, when i sat down to seriously work on (what i thought was) the final chapter, it rapidly became clear that there was no way to successfully wrap this shit up in one more installment. and as i was writing, it was pretty obvious that i was rushing from plot point to plot point trying to get the fic finished rather than taking the time to make it a story i was proud of and would want to re-read. once i realized that, it became a guessing game of what i was missing, and once i thought about it, the answer was obvious: conflict.

(we will have this discussion again next year when i tell the tale of how, in january 2023, i ended up scrapping almost the entire (actual) last chapter of this fic because i had to learn this lesson all over again.)

narratively speaking, blue’s injury served a few important purposes. first off, it’s a chance to see shisui--who’s been something of a handsome and charming enigma--soften up and appear a lot less composed and in control than he’s previously been. that vulnerability was necessary if he and itachi were going to push their relationship to another level, and also necessary to motivate itachi to take a real, genuine stand against fugaku and all his fugaku-ery. (it was also, admittedly, a chance for me to continue to play in the sandbox i’ve created where i get to use a lot of my real world knowledge and skills--namely, animal behavior and veterinary medicine, the two things i do for a living.)

once i unlocked that piece of the puzzle, everything started to fall into place, and then i knew that i would need an entire chapter to devote to itachi and shisui as a couple--what their relationship would look like, how dating would change them, and if, given the differences between them, it was possible to even sustain a relationship in the first place. which is why i ended on the confession scene, so everything that came after would be something of a blank slate and the finale could just be the--pun intended--evolution of their bond.

all that said, by the time i was finished with this chapter i had spent so much time, effort, and energy trying to wrangle it into something readable i was kind of drained by it, and that fact along with the knowledge that it’s never been my most popular fic (and that the reception to this update was a little quiet) left me burnt out by fanfic for a bit. it also didn’t help that, as i’ve previously discussed, this was around the time my entire life was uprooted by losing my job so there were just. a lot of factors working against me that really zapped my inspiration. if only another project could have come along and truly inspired me...

pack up (don’t stray) (shiita; 63,923 words; completed)

hilariously, i had way more Profound and Meaningful shit to say about this fic, but tumblr ate a chunk of my post when i was trying to save it and i’m too annoyed at this stupid website to try and recreate all of my previous comments in depth. 

what i will say is that, if there’s any fic that stands a chance of surpassing star trek au as the fic i’m most known for, i’m really, really happy it’s this one. i love this fic from beginning to end, i think it’s one of the strongest pieces i’ve published, and i’m honored that other people have become as invested in the sad, weird little world as i am. honestly, it’s been so touching to see how many people have connected with this story and how it’s gone from a piece i mentioned in my 2021 wrap-up as really loving but being kind of sad about the lack of traction to a fic that developed a really dedicated reader-base who provided some of the best comments and feedback i’ve ever gotten. and since the two updates were so different from one another (and the final chapter is so, so long) it only feels appropriate to give them each their own sections.

chapter two:

to be blunt, there’s a really good chance that the second chapter of band au is my favorite thing i’ve ever written, full stop. part of the reason i think i have such fondness for this chapter (besides the fact that that i accomplished all my goals for this section of the story with this chapter and i feel like the writing itself is pretty good) is the fact that i wrote almost all of it in the span of about six or eight hours like a madman. in doing so, it was really easy to stay focused, maintain a tight grip on the pacing and narrative, and let everything flow from there.

like i said in my 2021 wrap-up, part of the appeal of this story was to push itachi and shisui to the brink of likability and test how many crappy things they could do to one another while people still had empathy for them (the answer turned out to be: a lot!) i think part of why so many people have reached out to tell me that this fic affected them so much is because, in some ways, all the pain and misery is just so mundane. there’s no spaceships or magic ninjas or genetically-modified dinosaurs; it’s just two people breaking each other’s hearts, over and over again, the same terrible shit that happens every day and there’s something really relatable about that. (for more on this point, see my answer to this ask.)

(speaking of relatability--as someone who has struggled with substance abuse for the entirely of their adult life and is always working on their sobriety, the prospect of dipping into that well was incredibly daunting, and i’m happy that it felt authentic to people who were reading.)

i don’t want to gush over my own writing because that seems tacky, but man oh man. there’s just so many things about this chapter i love and i’m just so happy other people felt the same way. anyway, time for the finale!

chapter three:

in some ways, the final chapter of band au was one of the pieces i was most nervous to write. after spending two chapters taking a wrecking ball to the shiita relationship in this fic, the prospect of piecing it back together in a fashion that felt genuine and respectful of the trauma they both experienced seemed kind of impossible.

like most of my projects, i knew from the beginning what the end of this fic was going to be. i actually knew the ending to band au better than most of my other stories, because before i even finished chapter one i knew the last chapter would end with the airport scene and i knew the specific lines of dialogue that would conclude the fic itself. the problem was how to justify even the possibility of shisui and itachi considering getting back together after everything they did to one another in the last chapter.

the first step seemed to be presenting how much they’d grown (itachi is sober, shisui got married--and divorced!-- and had a kid, both of their careers had progressed in different directions, etc.) to show that perhaps they were evolving to a point where they could learn to be in each other’s lives again. i really enjoyed re-imagining this characters as, in theory, older and wiser and adding in newer characters and original details to flesh out the lives they had created when they were apart from one another. honestly, my heart is so soft for both millie and heather, and i’m genuinely so happy that my ocs--always a dicey prospect in fic--got such a warm reception. i also really loved getting to show the band as a functioning, familial unit and all the different relationships that existed amongst the four of them. and how can i not love mean little sasuke with his suburban chickens and burning hatred for shisui. 

the second step, as it often seems to be for me, was making peace with the fact that this chapter was going to have to be approximately eight hundred thousand years long if i wanted to stick the landing. if i was going to trace itachi’s journey from suspicion and lingering mistrust, to warily allying himself with shisui, to realizing he actually enjoys being around shisui again, to realizing how much he still misses and loves shisui, to taking a risk and giving shisui a second chance despite literally every reason not to do so, i was going to have to take my time and earn that decision. even though writing this one chapter ate up the majority of my writing time this year, i’m really happy with the length of this chapter and the different locations and events it followed, because i feel like it gave the story a lived-in quality that was necessary given how over-the-top the second chapter was.

on the other end of making this reunion functional and believable, inevitably this chapter also had to be the shisui redemption tour. i’ve made it clear in the past that, as shitty as his behavior was post-break-up, i don’t think he’s entirely responsible for the nuclear end to he and itachi’s relationship. that said, i knew it was going to take a lot to get both itachi and the reader back on board with Shisui and Itachi: The Sequel, which is why we get to see so much more of him than we did in previous chapters: rather than itachi quickly summarizing events or the narrative presenting small bits of dialogue, we actually to spend a lot more time with shisui the flesh and blood person now that he’s not the idealized or villainized version that lives in itachi’s head. and it wasn’t until he was a fully realized person again that there was any hope of him and itachi making things work, which... let’s talk about that ending.

i knew from the very beginning that i didn’t want to end this fic with shisui and itachi officially getting back together. considering all the shit they’d gone through, it didn’t seem realistic to have them suddenly live happily ever after. this was always a messy story about messy people and i didn’t want to give it an easy ending. i always wanted to end this story on the idea of a new beginning, of a better future, rather than a tidy resolution to this relationship, because it seemed so much more authentic to their journey and, to me, more meaningful. and, though i’ve had people tell me they wish i’d written a better ending, it’s a decision i still stand by 1000000000000% as the right choice. that and i’m writing a sequel oneshot as we speak so it’s not even really the ending anyways

i really could talk forever about this au. of all the fics i have, published and unpublished, it really does stand out as one that’s special and so very close to my heart, and i’ve spent so much time thinking about these washed up losers that i think i could keep returning to this ‘verse again and again for as long as i continue to write fanfic.

so, that’s it! it’s kind of hilarious i had so much to say given that i fell far below my own expectations for 2022 in terms of writing, but what can you do.

in the spirit of being a little more productive (and certainly a lot more positive), let’s set some goals for 2023:

i’m finishing the last chapter of jurassic world au even if it kills me

I AM ALSO FINISHING THE NEXT STAR TREK AU CHAPTER EVEN IF IT KILLS ME

after, like, three years of hibernation i actually dusted off my pacrim au and yep, you guessed it--i want to finish that sucker, too

finally, since i’m hoping to take two (2) fics off my plate, i’d like to finally get serious about publishing the first chapter of the shiita enemies to lovers vampires and werewolves au i’ve had in the works, which i’m very excited to share with everyone

if you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! if you’d like to find me elsewhere, i’m a lot more active on twitter, so feel free to stop by and say hello.

see you soon!

[8beats-per-minute]

Uncanny Valley AU Designs!!

ITS FINALLY HERE

You can skip to the designs if you want then come back, I wouldn’t blame you but I would like to apologize.

I don’t know what happened, I started this right after Christmas 2022 then worked on it basically nonstop for a week and a half. I basically finished Mikey’s design with a few changes and started brainstorming for Raph then my brain was like “lol no”.

It might have been part finding reference poses for Raph or stress from school and exams or burnout or idk. Whatever it was made my motivation disappear. For 3 1/2 months.

I was like “yes stuff is coming!!!! I’m making stuff!!!” And then that just didn’t happen.

Again, I’m sorry.

I’m not going to do much in descriptions (unless I add them later) cause it’s late and I’m tired. I’ve been actually busy for the past 2 weeks.

General design notes!!

I need up doing the connected ears to head idea so that’s why they look so flat

These are meant to reflect Black and Japanese features. I AM NEITHER. If I did something offensive to one of these groups in these drawings I can guarantee I did not know and did not do this on purpose.

PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I DID SOMETHING OFFENSIVE AND I WILL CHANGE IT. I would appreciate it if it is done in a calm matter but I understand if it’s not. Just please don’t call me stupid or racist cause I also have feelings. You can yell at me if I take longer than a week to respond. It would also be best if it was in the comments so it’s easier to respond.

They all have naturally really sharp and thick nails, I just couldn’t show for some of them

I tried giving them masks that incorporated how they wear fabric in their hair. It looks okay but a little weird, especially for Leo and Donnie

I’m writing/posting this between 11pm and midnight after a very long day and with a long day tomorrow so I’m not writing the (aaa I forgot the name for it. The text that explains what the picture looks like) I’ll add it when I have time I’m really sorry tho

Now, without further ado…

The designs!!!

(These might be changed, I have a tendency to change things after and be like wait I like that more but these are basically the designs. They’re also all post-movie so if you want to see pre-movie, as kids or apocalypse let me know :)).

LEO

I gave Leo both vitiligo and red birthmark stripes. Everything is blue (of course) and I’m not a huge fan of what I did for his clothes design but oh well he’s allowed to switch styles. I was stuck between giving him short hair and long hair and blond extensions or not but this is what I settled on. He’s also 10% the type of person to have little bracelets on (Mikey made him the braided one obviously). I have this headcanon that he’d look the most similar to Splinter (as a human obv so Lou Jitsu) so I tried to do that, it’s just hard to go from animated to semi-realistic. Anyway he’s got that superstar dazzling smile/mysterious troublemaker grin. You can’t see but his hair tie is blue. Maybe an actual hair tie maybe a strip of fabric, maybe a scrunchie. It changes every few hours. 

DONNIE

I was actually pretty excited to do Donnie’s face specifically (him and his very square face). I had a really fun time with his shell tho and all the little spots and scars and spiny parts. I tried to make him look similar but not the exact same and I think I did okay. I definitely think they’d look pretty similar just cause it’d be like “haha were twins :)) -Leo”. I was going to give him headphone but forgot so just pretend there’s headphone plz lol. I also believe he’d wear very baggy clothes but I made his collar way too high cause I feel like he’d hate the feeling of stuff on his neck (no this is not me projecting 👀). He also has sharp teeth but I didn’t show them.

MIKEY

Oooh boy. I was so excited for Mikey!!! I also gave him vitiligo on his face, arms, hands and legs )not visible). I also feel like he’d change his hair around A LOT so I gave him a few different hairstyles. He also definitely has paint on most of his clothes and paints on them intentionally. He’s a cool sock guy I just KNOW it. I tried keeping his little shell stickers on his “casual” design but had to move it to the other one cause it looked weird. I did put them on his knee pads if you looks close. I had to keep his other cool face knee pads of course, they’re iconic. And I of course kept his off-centre gap tooth.

Last but certainly not least…

RAPH

I had so many ideas for him and I got most of them but they’re so half-assed I’m sorry Raph 😭. Especially the pose ughhhh it’s so bad. And the shoes 🥲. Anyways instead of focusing on what I did badly were going to focus more on the idea. A few thoughts I knew I wanted was the scar on his eye and shoulder and to add markings cause Raph deserves to glow too. I added some markings on his forehead and just below his ears if you look close. I also added some on his shell and the spikes on his shoulders. He definitely has the most obvious shell out of his brothers but it’s still smaller than how it is in the show. AH I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT HIS RAPH CHASM 😭. Sorryyyy. I also wish Raph’s markings were lighter but oh well.

That’s all for now! Now that I can stop stressing about finishing this I can try and post more about this, whether it be art or talking about it idk.

Also I plan on making a proper logo soon I just have a very busy month ahead of me so we’ll see how fast that gets done

[akwardlyuncool]

Class Favorites: Albums That Needed More Attention Before They Could Of Made My Favorites List.

I almost forgot this post, but I couldn’t close out Akward Class Favorites without mentioning these albums as well, so here we go.

PS: Apparently I had a lot to say about albums I didn’t listen to enough. Also all these albums came out in 2022.

_______________________________________________________________________

I Went To Hell And Back - As It Is

I bought a special signed pink cover copy of this album and loved it every time I’ve listened, however I just didn’t listen to it enough. I could call this album a 2022 favorite of mine from first listen and I thought about doing that, however I saw where I failed it and knew I could have done better and really pushed myself to listen to it more. Basically my CD player was having issues and only playing certain ones, so anytime I wanted to listen to it, the player said no.

“Excuses” aside, this was my step back into the As It Is world after spending not a lot of time in their Great Depression era. I think I just wanted more of their Pop-Punk sound back and this album was an evolution of that for me. This is for sure a heavier record and I think it marries the heavier sound of The Great Depression with some of the Pop-Punk stuff they were known for. Not gonna lie, I’m also in my hella sad boi era and a lot of the record is speaking facts to me right now, so it’s a good mix.

Top 2 Recommendations:

I’d Rather Die (Track 5)

I Miss 2003 (Track 6)

I feel like this is already the most popular track, but I didn’t want y’all to worry about me lol. It’s also a heavy hitter though.

If I Saw You Again - Violet Skies

I bought this CD when I saw her on the Wild Rivers Sidelines Tour because she was just so good live. I had dabbled in Violet Skies prior, as in I knew one song, however I now know a few and they’re just so good. When I was working on that concert post I had this album playing quite a bit, but I’m not gonna lie I haven’t picked it back up much, despite how good I think I think it is. That’s sadly also why none of the songs have made it to any of the 2022 lists either. I need to add several to my regularly played playlists so that their numbers could pick up. Do you want soft(er) British Pop in your life? Do you want to listen to a good song writer with a powerful voice? Do you just want to feel cool? Then like me you should listen to this album and then listen to it more.

Top 2 Recommendations:

Love You Better (Track 8)

Live Version For Effect.

The Internet (Track 2)

Kings Of The New Age - State Champs

I feel like I’ve been on a break from several of the bands that I’ve been glued to for the last 6/7 years and that’s partly why this album is here and not chillin in first class with the other albums I actually had on repeat this last year. It took me forever to go get a copy, even though I’d been lowkey excited for this record to come out and I haven’t put it on much since then. I loved their “Unplugged EP” and was really into the single “Outta My Head,” but this one was and still is slow to get into. This is new for me, cause I’m typically on it with State Champs and if I’m not, the album gets downloaded to my phone and I play it on repeat until I’ve broken it in. The first time I ran through this album, I was like “it’s alright.” Kings Of The New Age needs a bunch more run-throughs for me. The sound that I love is there, but maybe I’m just not fully in love with this current era of State Champs.

I want to write a whole separate thing on this, but basically they’re in their cocky era right now, as are many bands, hence the title, but I’m apparently just not attracted to that. Not saying that I don’t want them to be successful or to not ride the wave while it’s here, but I’ve always pulled back on some of my enjoyment of the scene when it stops feeling personal and this moment doesn’t feel personal to me.

All that being said I think I’m less in love with the vibe of this era for State Champs as a band, than I am the actual record. I’m playing it as I’m typing and I’m like this is good and it’s doing what it needs to do. I guess the next move for me is to get some more solid listens in, truly find “my tracks” and kind of ignore the scene, cause that’s how this record gets the fair shot and love it deserves. 

Oh and since I may never come back for a full review after those solid listens, I just want to say that although the song “Everybody But You” is technically a bop, it feels frat-boy petty. It would definitely make it onto the soundtrack of a mid-2000′s young adult movie. 

Top 2 Recommendations (Subject To Change): 

Outta My Head (Track 4)

Eventually (Track 2)

[forabeatofadrum]

You know what fuck it actually, answer all the writers asks that you haven’t already answered yet PLUS another #25 if you have already answered it bc you can be proud of multiple scenes HAPPY EL WOOWOO WEDNESDAY

I should've seen this coming. I am putting this under the cut because this got long. Again, I should’ve seen this coming.

I’ve already answered 5, 8, 9, 13, 18 and 25.

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

I MEAN... look at my many, many WIPs. I think the main reason for holding off a fic is because I got stuck, or because I want to prioritise other fics. I’m trying to not take on new projects, but instead focus on older ones (famous last words, probably).

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

Anything written pre-2015, unless I have rewritten them (like This Charming Man or the SBL/Glee crossover). That, except for JTWLYT, even rewritten it’s bad. I don’t mind, You gotta start somewhere, right? Because otherwise I don’t really mind any fics. Like, I wrote a Glee/Animal Crossing fic once and it slaps.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Mostly chronological, but it doesn’t really matter. So yeah I write what I have in my mind. For example with Ljubim te, I of course knew there were going to be 24 chapters since it’s the Advent, so I plotted out a little bit what happens in all chapters and by now each chapter has at least something.

4) favorite character you’ve written

Jack motherfucking Zimmermann, even though I have abandoned my boy and I haven’t written proper Check, Please! fic in all of 2022. I want to finish two Zimbits WIPs this year, though. Maybe the attic vs. roaches debate breaching containment will bring me back to this fandom. Aly, what would you rather have? A person living in your attic, or 1000 roaches living in your attic?

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Oh I change things without shame. I do point it out in the author’s note, in case someone notices.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

This is a difficult question. WAIT NOT ALY THIS IS ME AFTER POSTONG THE ASK I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS ONE I WILL DO THAT LARER CAUSE I NEED TO GO TP UNI NOW!!

OKAY ALY I AM BACK (and also hello to others!)

So, this is a difficult question because I have the Fear of Being Perceived by people I know IRL. Not necessarily because I think they will judge me, but this is just something I’ve ever had. This is also why I am not going to karaoke night tonight. As a result I do not tell people I write, but not because I am embarrassed. I have just always kept my online and offline lives separately, you know? And this has only grown over the years. I have, like, one person I know IRL follow my personal blog and I created this blog because I do not want him to see my stuff. It’s literally in the bio of this blog. This is also why my name isn’t on here, although I do not mind when people use it in asks or replies. It’s not foolproof, I am aware, but it’s how it is.

But I am also fucking proud of my work and I an enthusiastic. This is why I love ask games like this or communites on Discord. I put a lot of time and effort into my work so of course I love to blabber about it. The person I mentioned above? Yeah, he knows I write fic. But I made him promise to not go look for it. Now I did meet some people who unabashedly talk about what filth they post on AO3. And I told these people I write fic to. But I am always feeling that hesistant feeling. I told them vaguely about Bakery fic and So Much Better, but I am never going to send them the link so if they want to find it, they can, but I will not be the one giving my AO3 away. (Rip. I never kudo their fics either for this reason, cause my AO3 account will pop up).

Aka it is just kind of weird.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I CAN NEVER WRITE WITH PEOPLE AROUND. This is why, when I visit my parents’ house for the weekend, I write less. I recently told Jenna (@thnxforknowingme, not Ushkowitz) that I am shook that she can write at work. I cannot relate.

I don’t like silence in general. I always have sound on, but it doesn’t really matter what. I am currently listening to The Last Five Years lockdown version, but I also just put on video essays that I have seen before, or gaming music, or YouTuber content. Only when I have a specific song/playlist for a fic, I tend to actively choose what I put on, like the playlist for River fic was on repeat during the writing. And Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing is my song for “damn Baz, you live like this”/Time After Time. That kind of stuff.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Uh. Everything. But I am also not too harsh on myself. I was 13. I am 24 now. And my English has improved. Fun fact, I did not know the difference between make out and break up for a very long time.

OH AND I LEARNED HOW TO DO PROPER PARAGRAPH BREAKS

12) your weaknesses as an author

Movements. Setting. That kind of stuff. When two people are in a scene and talk, I love the dialogue but I am constantly like “oh God, what else is going on in this scene?”

I am writing a scene for Ljubim te with Kurt and Sunil in a restaurant and I am constantly like “DON’T FORGET THEY NEED TO EAT!!!”

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Not right now. I don’t make playlists for my fics that often, unless I want to integrate the music into the fic (again, see River fic). Or I make a playlist AFTER I am done, like my Myosotis playlist.

15) why did you start writing?

Fanfiction? When I first read Harry Potter when I was around 11, but I used to write stories before that. Shout out to TEENZZONE and my first ever gay character that I made when I was 10 and then I got scared cause oooooh homosexuality scary!!! ooooh taboooo!!!! and erased it and made him marry a lovely woman named Daisy but then years later I was like “fuck it he’s bi then”

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Oh, uh? The first ever gay now bi character from TEENZZONE I guess. Fuck, was Danny his name, or was Danny the guy who came before Daisy? Look, I was 10. Ik zat in groep 7, of misschien zelfs 6. It’s been 14 years.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

It doesn’t have to be perfect. I am not a published author. This is all for fun. Besides, I read a lot of fic that maybe aren’t “that good” in the eyes of whoever decides what’s good, but I still enjoy them and that’s what matters in the end. I write for me and me alone and hopefully people like it too and we will all have a banging time.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

Not

Jk jk

I often have a little section in my doc with “Information”, like a timeline or people’s names or what is happening when. The one for Ljubim te has the names of my OCs and the street names of where Kurt and Blaine live. I am thinking of also making a timeline, because there are some time jumps between chapters, although I also try to point out what month it is in the chapter itself.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Depends on how inspired I am. I write when I have an idea. Sometimes things snowball from there, sometimes it’s to only add one line.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

Define older. As I said, everything before 2015 I pretend I do not see, but after that I actually reread a lot of my stuff. Hence the “I write for me and me alone” mentality. I reread Mendacious this week. And I haven’t read the Anyway series in years and I kind of want to.

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

There are too many to list, but from the top of my head: non-con/dub-con, detailed slavery or kidnapping or something like that, graphic violence, MPREG, fic with one being a minor other an adult.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

GIRL MY MAIN STARTING POINT FOR KLAINE FIC THESE DAYS IS “WHAT PART OF MY LIFE CAN I LIFT FROM??”

Mendacious: a conversation I had with one of my friends about internalised homophobia

River fic: lol (my broken friendship) (it’s almost Real Blaine’s birthday) (ah, then it will have been 4 years since I last saw him)

Ebb & Flow: my love for Splatoon 2

Bakery fic: me being obsessed with a documentary about rich people in Dubai

Ljubim te: I miss Ljubljana

So yeah, sometimes it influences the plot (Mendacious and River fic) and sometimes it is more a starting point for me to build upon, but it’s my liiiiiiiife it’s not or neverrrrrr-

Also, okay, I am writing this Snowbaz fic called Just Some Guy from an outsider POV and that is coming from me very much believing that Baz is not that hot. Simon is just in love with him. Sorry Baz fans.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Expert? I wouldn’t say that, but I do learn about obscure things like Broadway orchestra subbing. And of course I had that entire chapter about neurobiology in Myosotis sylvatica. But I can’t say I am an expert on things.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

You can get some All the pretty things lore as a treat.

“As if in every lifetime you and I have lived, we’ve chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over for all of eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I’ve ever wanted to do is spend my life loving you.”

This is how All the pretty things ends. Obviously it is not my writing. This is a direct quote from Glee. I may hate the proposal but they went hard with the speech. But I knew I needed to end the fic with this quote, since it actually inspired the entire premise of the fic. They hop through all these dimensions and in every one of them they find each other to go on to the next. And they grow stronger in the process. I do not know if this fic would be this fic without this quote.

For my own writing, I am really happy with the “emotional climax” of Paradiso 1 and Time After Time, but shhhhh spoilers, you gotta read that for yourself. But a shareable part that I am admittedly obessed with is from The Naked Truth:

We’re acting like a bunch of hormonal teenagers, but I don’t care. We’re high on energy and love. The moment we get to my flat and I close the door behind us, I press him against it and he laughs.

Again, there’s so much laughter.

Is this what love is like? Endless exuberant laughter? I revel in the sound of his joy.

I wrote this because I used “he laughs” or “I laugh” or “we laugh” A LOT in this fic up to the point that it was making me wonder if it’s bad writing, so I just put it in the story. Hooray.

ALY I FUCKING DID IT.

[lostmoonbunny]

Holy cow…

So uh..remember two years ago when I did my whole overview of my 2020 year and I said I have object permanence & memory issues? Yeah…I forgot about this place. I should really dust off the cobwebs (not the ones for decoration of course) and maybe share some life updates?

It’s 2024 and I’m really done with being a working adult in a place that actively keeps its people from actually living versus doing their best to make it. Like homie is barely treading water I need a dang break.

Other than that:

-my oldest cat nearly died and is now very much so getting the Princess treatment even more than she already did.

- I have mostly come out as Non Binary..my parents and the parents of my partner will not be learning this fact anytime soon.

-We got a fourth cat because we figured that our third cat needed a playmate as the oldest two want zero playtime with him..the youngest is a lovable terror and is nearly a year old and bigger than his immediately older brother.

- I got a promotion…but I’d like to find a job that was more regular and hours that don’t make me want to cry. (I just want to not work weekends if I don’t want to. Is that so much?!)

- I went to a casino for the first time. Here is my review:

• if you offer inside, casino floor smoking your ventilation needs to be top class. Not everyone that wants to visit your casino floor wants to smell like smoke. ( I don’t care if ppl smoke. That’s your business, however the people around you that are not smoking should not have to also be inhaling your smoke. That’s across the board for any kind of smoking. imho)

• write your menus better aka: explain your menu items better don’t say “steak sandwich” and then be like “steak, cheese, [insert veggies here], on X bread” then douse it in herb butter, ADD THAT TO THE MENU! PEOPLE LOVE THAT SHIT!

your valets and front desk attendants shouldn’t be the only good customer service a guest experiences. (For reference I work in a customer facing position and have been doing this for an over all of 15 years so I’m not just talking out my ass about customer service also this is the US so I know customer service culture is different here..but that’s a different soapbox)

Did I win anything? Nope just the need to bag any of my clothes that saw the casino floor and then also bag them again as the smell was wretched and cigarette smoke causes migraine in me now. (Yay new migraine trigger..experienced that night one stayed in a mask the entire time I walked through the floor. )

Will I go again? Probably not. The food was nice but I can also drive an hour east and have the same experience minus the gambling. (Also learned that it’s not something I enjoy.)

Will I be saying the name of this casino? Nope.

- my mental health has been a seesaw since June of 2023 so I’ve been also dealing with that. I’m much better than I was but I’m also not where I was before the decline. Frustrating but sometimes that’s just how it is. (Also I don’t want to cease existence much anymore..so that’s good. There were a few times towards Aug-Dec that in the dark of night I wanted to just stop, but I’m in a better headspace now and some of the outside forces that helped the self destructive feelings are gone/changing so I’m feeling much more hopeful and haven’t felt self destructive since the first week of December. So yay progress?)

- I got my ears repierced (I think that was 2022 though..) and now I can get all the pretty earrings I want. (Gives me serotonin)

- im planing about five (maybe six) more tattoos and at least two of them are anime adjacent.

- I cut my hair, felt good about it for a while and now I’m just over it.

- got a binder and I love it. Now to get a better one because it makes my brain goblins shut up about my self image more. (I don’t match my mental image and it’s hard to look at my body from collar bones down. I’m working on it and slowly getting better with it. )

- realized part way through last year I was doing some really unhealthy eating related stuff and now trying to be better about eating meals - even if it’s small. Eating something is better than not eating. This isn’t the first time in my life I’ve done this, it’s just been a long time since its last happened. I’d like to for it to not happen again.. (I should probably mention this to my therapist..)

- I got to see a group,a duo, and a soloist all I love and all in 2023 also all with two of my best friends.

- got a tattoo with one of my best friends, and planning two more. (Gotta find the right artist first!)

Oh, and I’ve been reading a metric heckton of fan fiction..it’s escapism at its finest.

All in all 2023 was a mixed bag and I truly hope 2024 is the year I am desperately hoping for.

Here’s to 2024, manifesting the things I want, the things I need, and the things that I need to have.

Just Survive Somehow.

[writtenbyidah]

2023 RECAPS

my first 2024 post was about me complaining how tough life has been. However, I forgot to write a post about 2024 like how I used to posts every year. Thanking 2023 should also included.

Previous years was not included due to my first relationship has been a huge failure.

Therefore, my 2023 recaps should be starts with Jan and ends with Dec like how I used to do it traditionally

JAN 2023 - in 2022 Khairi and I made a big decision to loan a car, YES A CAR. With Late Khairi's dad help, we are able to loan a car. It was the happiest day in our life cause I get to stop hearing Khairi's complaining. Long story short, arwah made it to Khairi's graduation day and that was when Khairi received his car. We named it Puteh (technically Khairi named her). After lots of struggled, within 4 months. A year ago, Khairi got hit by careless stupid driver and yup a girl. That was after I got him our FIRST RIM.

FEB 2023 - The struggle we had, indescribable. I cannot imagine the frustration Khairi had with him knowing had to go back and forth to school with no car and had to depends on his dad. Again, I had to hear him complaining about it EVERYDAY.

But that was not it, the insurance company they signed up for lent a car to him, a good news (get to see his smile cause he do not have to trouble his dad) and bad news at the same time- the fuel consumption is quicker, at least $5 a day is a must.

MAR 2023 - New semester starts, he was still upset and disappointed. So, I was determined to make him happy. Did not know if that makes him happy or not. (Apparently he said I did not know if its a good thing or not to buy him certain items which I think is kinda useful to him lol) whatever it is, I bought him new pair of shoes for school to replace his damaged car shoes aka rim. I saw him smirking but okay lah, considered him happy a bit.

APR 2023 - an updates, still no car. Khairi still complaining about the fuel tank consumption- but oh well, what i can do about it. I accept for who he is. Reaching Eid, we still clueless with a lot of thing. I was not happy when it comes to Eid since parents were not around as well as my brother,

On second day of Eid, I was pleased to hear the news from Khairi to bring me and meet his family side, one of the best thing ever.

MAY 2023 - Khairi still on his school days where he gets busier and only had little time to spare with me. Of course we still go on a date but it was not as happy as before. The way he still managed to bring me out- is enough. Until we received news about arwah's disease news, he was diagnosed with cancer and it was one of the heartbreak Khairi had for the first time of the year. Went back-to-back to hospital just to hear sad news about the family is not what everyone wished for. Khairi still with school coming, HAD TO MAKE TIME for his dad, school, work and me. Told him countless time to prioritized his dad first and me after but he insisted to make time for me so that I don't have to feel left out- and still thankful for that.

JUNE 2023 - Semester break, now he had 3 things to focus on (work, dad and me) but I let him loose to at least take care of his dad. I never want him to regret on things involving family. Most importantly we still get to hang out but not as often as before.

JULY 2023 - I was having mental breakdown with office mates especially when you dont get appreciated and they only know complains you. My sister, Ummi get accepted by Politeknik to continue her study, alhamdulillah.

AUGUST 2023 - Coming 2023 end, we were devastated with lots of things, misunderstanding- but that's normal right? I'm happy with what he gave me, he did not give much, but time and efforts can be seen throughout the year.

SEPTEMBER 2023 - Highlight of the year, I was happy cause he made it to celebrate my birthday with NO CAKE hehe- still happy tho. I, myself don't like cake either. So, it was fine.

OCTOBER 2023 - I don't remember much, all I know was I was on countdowns to my brother and mom's arrival from the UK. Oh ya, also my grandpa is getting married to a 54 year old lady who is a widow- I guess.

NOVERMBER 2023 - Khairi's day. Remembering Khairi turning 23 was a bit not exciting cause my mom was in town, nothing much to do- celebrating his birthday was not one of it. I did not even prepare his birthday presents or his cake- does that make me a bad girlfriend. I was short in cash and was also paying for my license but thanks to Khairi for helping me out. He did help me a lot tho.

DECEMBER 2023 - As much as I don't want to remember and not expecting- I also know deep down Khairi was also not ready to deal with what he's going to face. Counting down to new year eve, I was about to watch cinema with my Bungsu, Bungsu was kind to pay off the tickets for me and Khairi but things twisted differently after the Khairi's dad was in critical condition- unable to breath, the feels was off. Told Khairi to stay at home, but he insisted to come with me. However, right after Khairi arrived at the mall and he said that his dad is dying. I immediately change the plan, the situation in the car was weird indeed with lots of thoughts coming in, we did not even say much- I remember holding Khairi's hand.

Right after arrived home, all I know I was shaking to the point I could not even stand properly, entering the house with full of hopes that he would make it to stay till new year, mind you it was on the 31st Dec 2023. A day before new year.

Hearing Khairi mumbling telling the family that his dad was taking a nap- in denial and refused to believe that Arwah has gone. For good. The scream of help, begging for him to come back was the hardest sounds for me to accept and get back in reality, but it was real, It was the day I knew he lost a dad- a person he usually depends/rely on,

I hope nothing but the best for him.

[majortomyourcurcuitsdead]

sashaaaaa HI how about...

6, 10, 21, 39, AND 40 OF COURSE

HII CHRISSIEE OK I did it, that’s gonna be long but here you goo

6. What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?

HMM WELL if it’s meant here what object do I use to mark a page where I stopped reading, then most often it’s a paper bookmark. Either one of those which I got in one Paris museum/gallery this year which I REALLY loved visiting, or some simpler ones which are usually given together with a book purchases at stores. I love the former ones so much, they’re very neat; they are basically fragments of works which I loved seeing irl, and I like matching them with the books where I use them. I also recalled about one plastic holographic bookmark with nebulas which I had a while ago and which was VERY neat, but I think it’s somewhere in my books which are either in storage, or in a Kyiv flat where I still haven’t returned to since my family left it after an invasion

10. What’s your favorite kind of uquiz question? (Lyric, color, aesthetic, etc)

SJJSJS This one is tough cause I don’t think I remember now all which I’ve seen bUt honestly all of the mentioned above actually seem good to me shsjjsjsj

21. What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

Oohhoh WEll I absolutely adore works by Alphonse Mucha, also William Morrisʼs prints. And I like different elements of art nouveau and art deco, some Renaissance elements in architecture too.. Some brutalist architecture is interesting to me as well; so honestly I love a lot of different bits and pieces from different time periods and cultures. I also really like some of the classicism paintings, OH and dutch floral still-life paintings I’m obsessed with them. I love some of Andy Warhol’s prints too, especially some of his traced drawings and works with a smaller color palette. I looove antique statues, I always want to draw them lol; omg Gustav Dore’s illustrations are gorgeous. I love collages a LoT too, especially those from the times when they were just starting to become a thing. I like vintage concert and some movie posters a lot too. It’s a lot truly, I’m pretty sure I forgot about something here ahhhah

39. What was the best part of your day today?

Well I started writing the response to this yesterday so I will just continue the trend sjsjjks

There were two best parts for me yesterday; the first one was when I was sitting together with my family while we were waiting for our orders, and I thought that it’s actually the first time that we are all (parents and my sister) are reunited after being separated since we left Kyiv in February 2022; dad can’t leave the country while the stupid war is still ongoing. I visited him separately last year, and so did my sister this year, but yes it’s actually the first time that we are all actually together since that time; and even though because of my parents’ divorce it’s a somewhat different, it’s still a very nice feeling. When we don’t fight snsnjsjsjsnsj These are the people I grew up with, it’s something that’s definitely a huge part of who I am today too

The second moment was when I came home after finding a pair of really nice trousers; the thing is, there’s one factory here which makes clothes for different clients worldwide. And sometimes, when certain details in some items aren’t done as they should have been done, according to client’s request (like, for instance a different type of a thread used for stitching), they are just sold in a store by a factory. So as I’ve mentioned I’ve found a pair of dark brown wide trousers yesterday and a dark blue shirt; SO when I came home, I took a closer look at the trousers and.. buttons on them had a brand name which definitely doesn’t sell their trousers for 15 euros sO that made me happy sjsjsjsjjs I do think that the trousers turned out to be of that brand, I think it’s the zipper which originally was supposed to be different

40. What’s your favorite kind of tree?

OH since I was a kid I LOVED trees which I can climb and where I can sit. I remember having a soft spot for willows; they can be climbed easily and also their long supple branches are therapeutic to look at or to touch. I also like huge old trees with big strong low-hanging branches where, yes, you can sit. Also, I love big fruit trees under which you can sit in a shade in summers. OH I almost forgot about blooming trees, sakuras especially. Like please tell me how can you not like them

[xoteajays]

I have another new husband again.. Maybe I do tend to get infatuated easily over someone. Way more than I would like to admit to anyone.

~

Exactly. There have been plenty of shows and movies that I'd actually watched where the blend multiple genres into the story. Like.. Alice In Borderland and Tokyo Revengers are only two examples when comes to this. Arisu and Usagi are romantically involved, and they do end up getting married (and also started a family) in the sequels - their whole ship with them is more slow burn romance. The relationships for a lot of the TR characters, that really varies on the relationships though.

~

I've seen Junji Ito's work. But I have never watched the anime, or read the manga. Though I've seen plenty of his work. Actually.. There's one of my favorite musicians has tattoos of Junji Ito's work, and Junji also did artwork for that same musician in his art gallery too. So that's just a whole win win situation for both of them. That I could really think of.

~

I have been mostly rewatching the original three movies, besides the shows. Not that I won't watch the other movies though. But between the show and those movies, that is where the original casting is when writing about them. So I've been watching that timeline more though.

Not at the moment.. No knew information about my characters at the moment, at least not for my H&L characters. But I'll tell you when I do though. That might take some time for me to figure some things out.

Maybe? And Ryu's mother. So far, that is two women that I know of in Kuryu group. I'll have to start paying attention to them again anyway.. Especially if I decide to flesh out any more of the other gangs like the Kuryu and possibly Warriors too. Maybe for some characters at least.

As someone who tends to always hold grudges against people, I can't say that I would actually blame her if she never wanted her mother as a mother after the life she went through. Abandoned, used or abused. That's a horrible life to live. So I can't blame the decision she chooses.

What's her relationship to Smoky? Is he a friend, a brother? Because I know everyone in Nameless City is one giant family for most of them, but was curious about their actual relationship between those two.

If she was willing to give up her valuables to save Smoky, and anyone else, who needs medical care. Medicine and medical supplies are just some necessities for everyone but are extremely expensive though.

~

If I ever get around to writing my High&Low story.. I was thinking that the timeline would start between the end of season two, before those movies. That's what I was thinking. Since the drama from the show is caught up with the characters - like Hyuga being out of prison, any of the turf wars, the fighting between the SWORD gangs. That would be over. So that was the idea I had in mind for the timeline for my story.

~

I have only been in three relationships my whole life. And everyone of the guys I was in a relationship with cheated on me, so I become very idealistic about the concept of relationships. Fictional men are always better then real men. At least from my personal experience anyway.

But yes! "Someone you claim to care about." Is a phrase I always say a lot in situations like this. If you claim to love them, then just don't hurt them. But if you're so unhappiness, they should have really ended the relationship then. Because this is never ideal for the people involved.

~

I forgot how much younger you are than me..

The actress might be a young person but she should have known not to do something like that. But, apparently, she did pay compensation.

"In May 2022, Kim Sae-ron was driving under the influence in Gangnam-gu, Seoul around 8:00 am, she crashed into several structures including transformers, guard rails and street trees. In the crash, the transformer broke down, and the electricity supply was cut off for about 3 hours at 57 places including nearby shops, causing damage to merchants. The following day, her agency, Gold Medalist released a statement saying that, "Kim Sae-ron is deeply reflecting on her apparent mistake. The damage caused by the crash is being compensated as much as possible. I will do my best to take responsibility until the end."

It was later reported that she left the project in the television series Trolley. On November 4, 2022, it was reported all the money that Kim had accumulated during her activities was used as compensation in the crash handling and settlement process, and she had a part-time job. Later, Gold Medalist confirmed that Kim Sae-ron had a part-time job because her life was difficult, but currently has stopped.

On March 8, 2023, the prosecutor of Seoul Central District Court asked for a fine of 20 million won. Later, Kim appealed for leniency due to financial difficulties and requested a fine of 4 million won from Mr. A, who was riding with her."

Because of her actions, she left two projects that she was producing at the time of the incident. Trolley and Bloodhounds were the shows.

But still. You would think that people who have common sense not to do something like this. Damaging any property, harming humans and animals. But people never surprise me when things like this happen.

oooh new guy?? 👀

~

release the romance cut, h&l! i wanna see kisses!! kizzykaito especially but i’ll settle for yamato and naomi.

~

the anime is a lil hit or miss, some people are very critical of it. i’m easily entertained though so i don’t mind that, but just saying. the manga books are very good tho. i’ve read most of his short stories/anthologies but i’m interested in his longform stuff too.

~

hyuga’s eventually like ‘eh, parents right? they suck’. i haven’t decided if ryuko actually talks to her mother or not, but i know if she did, it would be an explanation about her mother’s relationship with her kuryu father and her actual biological father; she’d probably apologise. ryuko doesn’t want to meet her biological father either tho, and would reject an apology. very grudge holding, even if it hurts.

smokey and hinami definitely have a bit of a sibling relationship. they’re not as close as smokey and lala, but hinami does view him as an older brother. she cares about him a lot and respects him. he helped look after her and sat with her a lot when she was first abandoned and recovering from her amputation. he was a comforting figure in her life, so it hits her really hard - like for all the other rude boys - when he’s killed.

~

i don’t know where exactly hinami’s story starts, but ryuko’s starts around the end of red rain when ryu goes back to kuryu and kills kamizono to take his spot.

~

since i haven’t been in any relationships, i guess i can be pretty idealistic about how relationships should be. i think i just assume that people have the same morals as me and that’s not usually the case.

people just need to break up and stop cheating on their partners.

~

repping born in 98!

well at least she’s trying to take responsibility more than just apologising. i know young people do dumb shit, but still, it’s such an obvious thing to not drink and drive. just get a taxi home! call a friend! stop risking your own lives and other people’s lives! there are still so many deaths caused by drunk drivers every year and it’s always so stupid and avoidable.

[himbotiem]

I posted 27 times in 2022

10 posts created (37%)

17 posts reblogged (63%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dianthus-lovebomb

@himbotiem

@pedritcpascalito

@babydaddyleorio

@mk-wites

I tagged 25 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 12 posts

#shadow sk8 - 5 posts

#no himbos rn - 4 posts

#sk8 - 3 posts

#sk8 the infinity - 3 posts

#beetle writes! - 2 posts

#higa hiromi - 2 posts

#sk8 shadow - 2 posts

#hiromi higa - 2 posts

#asks - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 82 characters

#im sorry this is so short but its liek 3 am and i habe a 10 am class im veyr sorry

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

This was just a little thing I did for @scorphargrove’s fic on Ao3, Bite Back. I highly recommend it, I could not put it down lmao, AND the first chapter of the sequel came out recently :D

This drawing is supposed to be in chapter 5 I think? When billy and the reader walk back into the Halloween party and try to have a good time, I wanted to get that like. Initial when they get on the dance floor time frame I guess, when it feels like it’s just those two together lol. There’s supposed to be silhouettes of the crowd of people around and behind them but I don’t know if I executed it right 😅 also I completely forgot reader had Billy’s jacket on till like halfway through the third sketch, so it’s a little stiffer than I’d have liked. I do really like how I did his hair tho!! References are ur best friend forever frfr!

This isn’t the best drawing bc the pose was kicking my ass 😭 hope u like it :3

4 notes - Posted November 15, 2022

#4

Should I get back into writing?? I’ve been wanting to but idk who/what to write about 😅

4 notes - Posted November 13, 2022

#3

Literally no rush but pls,, I hope you finish those Hiromi fics someday 😭 cause your writing is so good!!!

aaaa sorry 😞 I will I will but school’s been kicking my ass and I’ve been trying to apply to college and stuff so I haven’t had time for our favorite skater!!! Thank you so much for the reminder though, sorry I died

4 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#2

HAPPY BIRHH YH DAY TO SHAODW ALSO I FOUND OUT TODAY SEAOSN TWO WAS CONFIRMeD IM GONNA CRY

7 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

prompt: "why the hell is there glitter everywhere?"

plot: the sk8 family trying to throw shadow a birthday party but hiromi forgot his own birthday

Thanks sm for the request!!! I hope you like it :) sorry if the ending was rushed, but it’s 4 months late 😓

warnings: none! Unless glitter counts

~~~

HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY HIROMI!!

Throwing a surprise party couldn’t be that hard, right?

Wrong.

Even with the brain power of a child, two seventeen year olds, an Italian chef, and a calligrapher (who is really just hogging all the brain cells), they were still only able to make the building look a little less than mediocre.

“C’mon, it's the old man’s 25th birthday! We gotta keep going!” Reki said. He was about to fall from putting up streamers in the tallest possible corner of Joe’s restaurant, before Langa steadied the stool he was on.

“Reki, this place is the best it’s probably gonna get.” Joe came out of the kitchen with a badly iced cake, “come tell me what to write on here,”

“Just write ‘you’ve aged.’ that’ll be funny,” Miya didn’t look up from his game, but he did give a little mischievous grin at his suggestion.

“I am not writing ‘you’ve aged.’ that would be weird.”

“Then just add ‘well’ and a smiley face.” Reki said.

“‘Well, smiley face, you’ve aged? That doesn’t sound nice-”

Cherry was tired from their shenanigans all day, “Just write Happy Birthday, you damn gorilla,” and as he turned, he actually saw the cake. “Do you even know how to ice a cake?” he didn’t wait for an answer as he brought it back into the kitchen to fix the horrid decoration job. Hopefully it tasted better than it looked, Cherry had his work cut out for him.

With that, Joe figured they should probably finish up the final touches on everything, and Miya, Reki, and Langa were left in the restaurant with no adult supervision. Worst idea yet, the three of them were already up to trouble. Reki still thought the space could use more pizazz, as he knows Shadow is no simple man. Reki took a cup of glitter and started trying to find somewhere to put it, maybe on the tables? Yeah, that sounded good. He grabbed a pinch and sprinkled it over the plastic tablecloths, for some variety. He didn’t notice, but Langa was sneaking up behind him to get some glitter. By the time Reki figured it out, it was too late, and it was already everywhere.

“Dude! I just washed this hoodie!” Reki said with a smile. He laughed as he threw some glitter as a revenge attack, not noticing that Miya was right behind Langa.

As the first speck of glitter hit the console, Miya was up and throwing glitter back at his assailants. Reki ducked behind a booth, hopefully he'd be safe here. Alas, a face full of green and purple glitter hit him, very on brand. Reki got his own red ammo, and released it onto the catboy.

“What is going on here?” Oh noooo, mom’s back. They halted their war in fear of the pink haired man. “I can’t deal with this right now- Go visit the flower shop and tell his manager she needs to keep him busy. I need to sweep up this mess.” Without a word, the three boys marched single file out the door, sent on their mission.

They weren’t very subtle. Miya, Reki, and Langa went to try to tell Shadow’s- Uh, Higa’s Manager about his surprise birthday. While he was working. They didn’t plan out Cherry’s request that well.

Oh no, Higa came out of the break room, and Mrs manager went downstairs to work on a pick up order. He stopped in his tracks, seeing the devil’s dandruff all over the ground.

“Why the hell is there glitter everywhere.”

The three boys look down and they all start talking over each other, though none saying the truth. Higa was not having it, the more they panicked, the more it fell from their hair and clothes.

“No- you know what I don’t care, get out,” Higa started pushing the boys out the door, not without (very sparkly) protest. He just got done sweeping the main floor, and now these hooligans left a snail trail of unicorn barf that he’d have to clean up before more customers came in. It was a busy day too, Higa could barely have the time to think. He woke up, came to work, and has been busting his behind all day! He didn’t even remember his birthday, it was that bad. The days leading up to today hadn’t been easier either, what with everyone wanting bouquets for some reason.

By the time Reki, Miya, and Langa had gotten back to the restaurant, with an incomplete mission by the way, Oka had been called to help clean up the rest of the glitter while Cherry had to go back to the cake. Oka gave Reki the broom and dustpan he was using, sighing as he walked away to make sure other things were in order.

“What were you guys thinking, roughhousing so close to the start of the party,” Oka was getting ready to pick up Higa, unaware that the boys never got to tell the manager to keep him there. Reki was busy sweeping, Langa taking out trash bags, so Miya had to run after him out the door.

“Ah, wait! He might be home, I don’t- uh, we didn’t get to tell the manager to have him stay at work. I don’t know.” Oka nodded at the new information, and Miya dashed back in after a fallen streamer.

Oka figured he had nothing to lose if he checked the shop first, so he started there. Luckily, Shadow was just leaving. Oka ripped off his helmet and jogged to the locked door to wait for him to come out. He soon heard the door chime and he rose to meet Shadow.

“Oka, I uh- what are you doing here?” Shadow was confused, so Oka vaguely gestured to the moped and held out a helmet.

See the full post

13 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ninjagirlstar5]

YEAH, it's quite funny looking back on that. It was something of a gradual change over time due to Hiro originally being an OC for...

Sighs.

...Five Nights At Freddy's.

Listen, she was created all the way back in high school when the fourth game came out and my friend brought me into his online friend's FNAF AU, and it just spiraled from there as we went crazy with the lore and made a TON of OCs for the series. A lot of which didn't really fit FNAF in general as we really went ham on the supernatural aspects like ghosts, angels, and demons and stuff, plus a few sci-fi elements thrown into the mix. And with how often the lore kept getting updated and changed with each installment in the series (and franchise), we were constantly adjusting a bunch of stuff in our stories for the AU.

We were (mostly) cringe-free back then, and I'll admit, I'm still attached to a lot of the ideas we came up with back then (hell, I still like FNAF). That being said, at this point in my life, I've been thinking on separating my OCs from FNAF altogether, mostly cause the lore we've come with doesn't really fit the FNAF world anymore as the stories we had listed out as planned (but never got around to finishing or even starting) started straying further and further away from the original appeal of the series, which is, "Security guard works at a kids' pizzeria which turns out to have haunted animatronics of dead children cause there was a serial killer back in the 1980s" thing. We got so wrapped up in the lore and certain elements that the animatronics just almost never appeared in a lot of these story ideas, except for, like, two of them, and just loosely tying in other canon characters.

With that context outta the way...I do have posts on Hiro. The thing is, though, this was from a time where I barely used Tumblr to share my own stuff, just liking and reblogging other people's posts. So it turned out I only had...two posts on Hiro. And that's from the Random-Questions-Fairy that I came across and liked and reblogged for some OC questions.

The first is about, "Does this character has pets or would like a pet?"

The second one being, "What kind of situation would your OC be willing to compromise on their values/morals?" (The third reason isn't wholly accurate anymore since I've been thinking over on what should be changed and such, especially since I want to separate Hiro's story from FNAF, so the context of the situation may end up quite different. It's still loosely accurate to her situation, but still.)

Also, I did actually write and post a fic on Hiro and her trauma back in 2022, I just completely forgot about it until now. Oops. It's kinda old now, especially since the few times her physical appearance is touched upon, it's based on her old design as I had given her a new one now. And I feel like if I were to write this scene into a story, I might change it, but I dunno. I haven't reread it in a long while. But if you want an idea of Hiro's story in the FNAF AU we made, there it is.

These were the only posts I've ever shared on Hiro, two on Tumblr, one on AO3. Honestly, I wished I talked about her a bit more, I still love her a lot, but I've always been nervous about talking about her and her lore due to her ties with FNAF. And also cause, well, my fixation on FNAF has waned quite a bit and SDRA2 basically dropkicked it into the far reaches of my mind. (I still think about it every now and then, but that did affect how I think about Hiro - which is, not as much as I used to.) But since you asked, I might as well take the opportunity to talk about her more and what her story would be like without FNAF in the picture.

Her full name is Hiroko Arai, and she was born in America. As a Japanese-American, her parents decided to give her a Japanese name so that she'd have ties to her culture. It's probably spelled with the Kanji, "to forgive, to pardon" and "child, offspring, young, junior, small thing", while Arai can either mean "new well" or "new residence" depending on spelling (I went with "new residence" as the spelling). Her friends and family all call her by her nickname, Hiro. The meta-reason why Hiro ended up with a Japanese name is because I was a lot more obsessed with anime back in high school. ^^;

Hiro has Time powers alongside her brother, which she inherited from her father and grandfather. Neither of which were actually human, but rather supernatural creatures of a higher being. The grandfather had initially come down to the mortal realm to fix some issues with the timeline as someone had restricted many possibilities of what could happen and had to be stopped (basically the backstory for an overarching story), even going as far as to create Hiro's father, but they never figured out a solution. The grandfather and the father had a bad relationship to the point that he cut ties with him, but he had mentioned him before to his wife, which came in handy when he had ended up passing away suddenly due to a car crash and the family needed a place to stay so she chose to take a risk. While the grandfather didn't fully understand what they did wrong, they had tried to be better for their son's family, and ended up having a much more amicable relationship with their grandkids. Tomomi (explained below) still found them unnerving at times.

The flat cap Hiro wears (pictured below) was her grandfather's. She was the closest to them and loved learning about clocks and their ideas on time and such. She never would've guessed that they were trying to help prepare her with her powers without forcing it onto her, as even if they were to remain dormant for the rest of her life and never were to realize that she had it, it would always be a part of her. She got her flat cap after her grandfather's mortal vessel expired ("passed away" in human eyes).

Hiro has a twin brother named Tomomi, which is spelled with the Kanjis, "wisdom, intelligence, knowledge" and "snake, serpent" ("智巳"). While their personalities were quite different from each other, Hiro being far more emotionally open, kinder and eager to play while Tomomi was more withdrawn, a loner, and far more quiet as he buries himself in his books, they were rarely seen apart. If one is not seen without the other, it's usually assumed that they were nearby but doing their own thing. Hiro and Tomomi bicker a lot, but were always the first to protect and support one another as they deeply love each other as siblings. Hiro always called Tomomi, "Tomo."

They were only ten-years-old when they were murdered, Tomomi poisoned with his body tossed into a river and Hiro having walked in on the scene of the crime, running into the forest in a panic and getting killed there via blunt force trauma. Tomo was found only twenty-four hours after his death. Hiro was found a year later by some hikers, her body haphazardly buried in the dirt.

Their deaths was when they found out about their time powers as the emotional pain of death made Tomomi unwittingly turn back time. However, since they were half-human, their time powers weren't as strong as their father's or even their grandfather's, so they were only able to go back one hour. This results in a time loop as Tomomi desperately tries to save himself, and eventually, Hiro. She didn't even realize what had happened at first until things started repeating over and over again and, due to retaining her memories of each loop thanks to having the same powers and awareness as her brother, tried to help save him as well. But due to the constraints of their powers, they were unable to escape their Fates, and kept dying over and over, and over again. The two of them end up giving up at some point, with Hiro being the first to give up and try and accept her death while leaving some kind of evidence behind for the authorities to capture their killer, while Tomomi took the longest as he was determined to not lose what he had...but eventually snapped and just let himself be killed.

Unfortunately, their pain doesn't end there as they end up becoming ghosts. Ghosts come into existence once someone has died, usually when they have a grudge to settle or some kind of unfinished business to attend to. The former usually happens when someone is killed in an uncommon way (murder) and the victim was aware of what happened to them or if they had beef with a living person upon their death and feel as if they deserved to finish what they started before moving on. The latter usually happens a person dies but still has some kind of final wish or even just wants to protect someone they loved. Many ghosts will move on with a bit of time or accomplishing their goals, but others get stuck in the mortal realm when they're unable to emotionally process what had happened. (This is usually when an Exorcist comes in to help the ghosts come to terms with their death, appeases their souls, and even help them with their goals...if it's morally sound, anyways.) Both of them were in pain for dying the way that they did, but Hiro was a bit more willing to move on as she just wanted some peace. Tomomi, who was broken and filled with resentment, is convinced that he's stuck like this, and doesn't even want to move on, not until he gets on their killer. Hiro is uncomfortable with her brother's change in behavior (she never saw and fully understood how desperate he was to survive their killer due to the time constraints of just trying to escape together and live), but chooses to stay by his side and support him.

Hiro and Tomomi's relationship starts to deteriorate over time, as while they both have the same trauma with experiencing their deaths over and over and over again through the time looping, neither of them are handling it very well, but ESPECIALLY Tomomi. He's become obsessed with getting revenge, trying to track him down through any means necessary, and he just keeps taking things too far to the point that people get hurt. Hiro tries to get him to stop but he won't listen, even snapping at her a few times for getting in his way. This comes to a point when Tomomi accidentally gets someone killed, which shocks both of them. But Tomomi, his soul having become tainted, tries to justify it to himself, saying that they merely got in the way, but Hiro snaps at him as they're LITERALLY dead, Tomomi! They...They caused that, Hiro having shown some taint on her as well for her minor role in the situation. This sparks an argument where Tomomi ends up talking over Hiro and proclaiming that if she's acting this way, then she can't possibly understand what he's going through, the pain and suffering he's felt for just losing his life over and over again! If accepting their death means letting go of their murderer, then he wants no part in it! Hiro is hurt by this, quietly biting back that yes, she does understand, because she's been put through the same thing he did. She just doesn't want other innocent people to lose their lives on this path of revenge. Tomomi wonders if they're even innocent, but eventually apologizes for snapping at her. Hiro apologizes as well, though, saying that she didn't meant to start an argument. Tomomi quietly begs her to stay, as he doesn't want to be alone so long as he remains as a ghost. Hiro is, again, uncomfortable...but continues to stay with him as he's her brother. Of course she can't leave him alone like this. However, their relationship doesn't improve from here as Tomomi continues to go down his path of destruction, Hiro struggling between supporting him and stopping him, but unable to choose between either. Hiro feels as though she can't speak up, and the few times she does, Tomomi ignores her or brushes her off, saying that once the killer is gone, things will go back the way it was before. Hiro, after watching another person die before her eyes, can only hope so numbly.

The Taint is basically what happens when a ghost does something immoral to another living being, causing harm to them in some way. Destroying relationships, driving someone insane, getting someone injured, or killing someone have different levels of taint but ultimately lead to one ending if the taint gets to a certain point the soul can't handle: the transformation of a Demon. There are at least two types of demons: one that is naturally formed from Hell and defined by a certain type of sin (ex. Pride, Greed, Wrath, etc.), or one where the soul of a ghost can no longer contain the taint in their thin forms and bursts, a shadow of their former selves as they go searching for more prey to feast upon. Young demons will usually go after any stray ghosts they come across as they are often easier prey than a human, who have far more protections to use against them, especially if they're able to resist any of their temptations. But older demons are far more dangerous as they're able to slip through the cracks of human society and manipulate a human into doing certain things that make them more vulnerable as time progresses, sucking away their energy until they can no longer resist and leaves them open for death. Many of these older demons have some kind of power that makes it easier for them to gain souls. This is why it's important exorcise both demons and ghosts, to keep people safe and to prevent a ghost's soul from being lost to the Taint.

There were other victims like Hiro and Tomomi, ones they sometimes came across during their journey they've been tracking down. However, they had never met the ghosts of these victims, either because they lacked the awareness of being murdered, wandered away from the location of their death, or just passed on over time. Hiro always tries to leave some kind of gift behind so they can rest in peace.

Hiro comes across a doll, one that seemed to have been tossed to the side, and decides to take it with them. After many years of trying to find their killer, she had grown used to her ghostly powers like teleportation, possession, and even telepathically carrying items. Hiro and Tomomi have grown very distant with each other over time, as Tomomi has become more toxic, clingy, and controlling of his sister, unwilling to let her leave his sight lest she ran into a demon and gets her soul taken. It's not an unfounded fear in this world, but he's not giving her any freewill on the matter, which makes it harder and harder for her to speak up on her feelings. But with the doll she has now, Hiro starts to talking to it in private, giving herself an outlet to let out all of her pent up emotions. She's desperate for a friend or even an adult she can rely on, someone that would support her and love her as she tries to cope from the stress of her watching people die, watching her brother become someone he's not, someone twisted and destructive. This continues for a long while until Hiro starts to break down a little, holding the doll close as the energy of her own soul brightens, begging for someone to help her. This imbues the doll with parts of her soul, and since Hiro was a half-human, it ends up being a very powerful one. One that transforms the doll into a tall, gangly being with strings attached. Hiro is shocked to see this, but since the being was imbued with Hiro's desire for a friend and an authority figure to rely on, they're quick to reassure her that everything is alright, having inherited traits that Hiro has perceived in the adults she grew up with: her mother's intelligence, her father's compassion, and even her grandfather's perseverance. The being proclaims itself to be Hiro's Guardian, and while Hiro doesn't necessarily understand what that means, she knew that she now has a friend to rely on and immediately clings to them. They play with her, recalling long forgotten childhood stories Hiro has heard to her, and give her a listening ear. Hiro has a good time, and even when her brother comes back from surveying the area, she greets cheerfully with her new friend, a jarring display if Tomomi ever saw one since he hasn't...seen her so happy in so long. He questions who the doll is, and they simply explain themselves to be Hiro's Guardian, willing to extend that same title to Tomomi as they are siblings. Tomomi is still suspicious but Hiro reassures him that they didn't offer any kind of contract, they just simply...came into being from the doll Hiro had. Tomomi isn't sure that that alone can be trusted, but decides that it doesn't matter now and tells Hiro to follow him. She reluctantly agrees, as she had hoped that Tomomi would at least get to know their new friend, which they simply reassure her that he may come around with time. For now, they ask her to give them a name, and Hiro thinks on it before settling on Mari. Hiro cannot remember how to do Kanji due to it being so many years, but she believes it can mean "Truth," "Reason," or "Love." Mari accepts their new name and shapeshifts back into their doll form so Hiro can hug them as they leave. They spend most of their time together, and even when Tomomi is at his worse, Mari is always there to help Hiro process her emotions, although due to being created from a part of Hiro's soul, they struggle to confront Tomomi themselves to get him to stop, especially as a part of them knows that they would do anything to protect these kids and struggle to wrap their head around Tomomi hurting Hiro. They're basically a young adult that doesn't really have much experience in dealing with children despite loving them a lot. But Hiro doesn't mind. She's just relieved to finally have a friend after feeling so lonely. Ha, lonely...she was never lonely around Tomomi but nowadays...she's not even sure she knows him.

Circling around to the concept of Guardians, Guardians are basically people that have passed onto the AfterLife, and are assigned to be a living mortal's support and protector. Usually Angels, people that have gone to Heaven for going above and beyond to help other people, are assigned to be Guardians, sometimes for a relative, sometimes for a stranger. But it's not uncommon for Lost Souls, people that have lived average lives and weren't exactly good or bad, in Purgatory to be assigned as Guardians as well, as a way to help them come to terms with their deaths, lack of purpose, and eventually bring them closer to being accepted into Heaven. It's almost unheard of for souls from Hell to become Guardians but if one were to try and reform, it is an option...but only for those that weren't reprehensible enough to get stuck in the lowest levels, as not everyone is allowed a chance for redemption depending on their record. These people are not necessarily demons, but due to how they have lived their lives when they were alive, harming others and perhaps even destroying lives, they are given far more restrictions as a Guardian, and that's only if they pass the test on whether or not they're genuine in trying to do better. Those on the lowest levels aren't even given chance due to how vile of a person they are...and they don't even want to change either. These types of Guardians are very rare...but it happens. Occasionally. Not just anyone become a Guardian, even as an Angel and a Lost Soul, as those who are more weak-willed may succumb to taint, even after giving a protective seal on their souls. They're also given permission to use certain powers if it will help them protect their mortal better. Mari, however, is a type of Guardian that can sometimes manifest in someone's time of need, usually in a beloved object they hold dear, and while Guardians don't usually protect the dead (they're meant to protect mortals, after all), if a ghost were to imbue an object with a desire like Hiro did, they would still be bound to protect that dead person. These Guardians are also ones ones that would take the initiative to protect that person but lack the seal to protect themselves from the Taint as they form outside the bounds of the ones that enforce how a Guardian is chosen, so it's generally frowned upon since they can be just as dangerous as a loose ghost or even a demon. So, not only did Hiro create herself a Guardian as a ghost, she accidentally broke a taboo in the process. Oops.

Demons also have their own versions of being "Guardians" through Contracts. They try to offer a human, usually a vulnerable one, a deal: they can give them this, so long as they're willing to offer them their soul by the time they accomplish their goal or when the contract expires. The demon will then support and protect them as they give the human power to accomplish what they need to do. Taking a demon's deal never ends well, as this is one of the first steps a demon will take to convince a human to commit atrocities throughout the duration, a slippery slope that gets harder and harder to pull yourself out of the more you're willing to bend your morals. And by the end of the contract, the Demon will take your soul, leaving an empty husk of your body behind. You may not even get to experience the rewards of what you've accomplished, but many humans think they can outwit a demon by reaping the rewards and then trying to get rid of them as soon as it's all done. This always seem to backfire as humans have already signed away their soul on those contracts, bound to give them up regardless of whether or not they want to back out. There is no way out, and an exorcists' advice is to ALWAYS never listen to a demon and run away while you still can. However, there are rumors of humans that have managed to accomplish turning the tables against a demon, but there doesn't seem to be any evidence of that ever happening. At least, for now...

Back to Hiro, their little group has come across many people as they search for their killer, but this was the first time they've come across an exorcist. The exorcist was clearly on a mission, asking them what they're final wishes are. Hiro doesn't get to answer as Tomomi brushes the exorcist off, saying that it's none of her business. The exorcist sighs, simply saying that she can help them move on and wrap up their final business. They don't have to keep tainting themselves anymore. But Tomomi doesn't believe her and tells her to go away, which only prompts the exorcist to shrug and say, "Suit yourselves. It took a long time to find you kids, I even spent all my down payment trying to keep up with you for weeks. But I have a job to finish, and if I have to do this by force...well, you're better off in the AfterLife. Trust me." And immediately attacks. This surprises both of them but Mari immediately jumps to defend them as their Guardian, shocking the exorcist but laughing along as she seems happy to get a bit of a challenge. It wasn't a very long fight...but it was one that Hiro didn't forget as Mari, in the snap of their fingers, freezes time for a few seconds and brutally cuts the exorcist with their strings. Hiro is shocked to realize that Mari has the same powers as them (due to them having a part of her soul) and watches as the exorcist goes down but is still alive. She cusses as she admits out loud that she had underestimated them. Mari goes to give the final blow, but before Hiro could even step in and beg Mari not to do this, she would never want this, the exorcist pleads for them to wait. They stop, ready to pounce at any moment, but giving her the time of day, even when Tomomi comes over to tell them to kill her, now. The exorcist laughs, saying that she was lucky that she had come prepared on more than one level before grunting as she pulls out an object: clear jeweled brooch, one that gave off a strange eeriness to everyone in the vicinity. The exorcist offers a deal: if she gives them this Brooch of Life, they'll let her go and she won't go after them anymore. Tomomi questions if she would keep her end of the deal and she simply replies, "Do I even have a choice? Just take this brooch and you'll be able to walk with the living again. Although I'll admit, I have no idea what effects it'll have on a ghost." They all exchange looks before Mari carefully takes the brooch from the exorcist before quickly backing away. When Mari proclaims that this is actually legit, the exorcist immediately drops a smoke bomb that explodes upon contact, quickly making her getaway. Mari almost goes after her but Hiro actually stop them. She's gravely injured, and didn't attack them like she said she would. They should let her go and follow their goals. Tomomi agrees, taking the brooch from Mari without a word but not putting it on. As they follow after him, Hiro tells Mari not to do that again. Mari says that it's their duty as their Guardian to protect her and they will do everything in their power to make sure she's never harmed again. They have seen what's been done to her through her memories, the repeated deaths, the lack of closure for her family as the police lose track of her own killer. They won't let any of that happen to her ever again, the taint all over their hands. Hiro is disturbed...but ends up letting it slide, simply asking them to promise to be more careful going forward. If they're going to be her guardian, she doesn't want them to kill unless they absolutely have to. They promise.

They finally track down their killer, Tomomi confronting them by making himself more visible to his eyes. Luckily, he is very sensitive to the supernatural, allowing him to both sense and see Tomomi, and Hiro without much effort. Since Mari has always been a doll at their core, they're pretty much visible as is. Tomomi corners their killer, demanding that he dies a miserable death like theirs. The killer laughs, saying that they have no idea why he did what he did, but he won't tell them since it's already too late. He's accomplished his goals and there's nothing they can do about it. This confuses Hiro but Tomomi doesn't care, trying to attack the killer on the spot. Mari, however, stops him, saying that he doesn't seem to care at all that they've tracked them down and that it could be a trap. Tomomi just stares at them...before suddenly grabbing their strings, taking control of Mari and using them to brutally kill their murderer. Hiro, for once in a very long time, immediately intervenes, fighting for control over Mari to protect them as they scream in agony, the Taint from Tomomi transferring over to them. Tomomi, on the verge of bursting into a demon, yells at Hiro, asking why can't she just trust him? Why can't she just accept what needs to be done? Why can't she just support him like she's supposed to!? Hiro, after putting up with Tomomi's toxicity for years, screams that he can do whatever he wants to her but never to her own friend! And turns the tables, taking control of Mari and wounding Tomomi's soul. This shocks everyone, Tomomi crumbling as he tries to keep himself intact. Hiro drops the strings and Mari, despite being in pain, scrambles over Tomomi, telling him that it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay. They have a solution, it'll be okay. They form a box between them, putting Tomomi inside and wrapping it all up until he disappears into their chest. Once Tomomi was gone, Mari tries to get their taint under control, pushing down Tomomi's memories, the murderous intent, the pain and suffering in his heart, feeling every single bit of it before it finally, finally subsides. They feel...different. But at least they had their free will back. Mari turns to Hiro to ask if she's alright, but sees the Brooch of Life in her hand. Tomomi must have dropped it in the scuffle. Mari didn't understand why Hiro was staring at it so intently, but for Hiro...Hiro realized something. She realized that she can't have a future like this. Not when Tomomi might disappear for good. Not when she's a ghost that has remained stagnant, hurting as the taint over her arms and face grew and grew. Not when she...she can't even age, for she is dead. But this brooch...if it works just like that exorcist said, even if she didn't know what would happen if a ghost were to use it...It wasn't even a question. Hiro puts the brooch over her heart and in an instant, her body glows bright, her body feels heavy (feel, she can FEEL), and she can taste the stale air, the smell of blood, everything all at once...until she passes out from her senses being completely overwhelmed. Mari catches her, shocked that she had actually done it without a second thought...but if that was her choice, then they would follow and protect her to the very end. And thus, they carried her out of the building, bringing her to a hotel for her to rest at.

Being sensitive to the supernatural is different for everyone. Some may notice a ghostly presence while another can just walk on by without even a shudder. Being sensitive to the supernatural is a basic survival instinct that humans still use to this day, as being aware that something is off can encourage people to avoid certain supernatural hotspots or even a single ghost or demon that may have ill will and just waiting for a chance to pounce on a vulnerable person. It's a sixth sense of sorts. However, being too sensitive to the supernatural can be very detrimental to one's mental health, some even losing their sanity for seeing so many dead people, creatures, and demons in the vicinity. Other times, lacking any sensitivity at all can lead to someone walking right into danger without realizing it. In the end, you're better off being more in the middle. At least your sixth sense will be going off every now and then without driving you paranoid.

Hiro's recovery was a slow one as it's been years since she's been an actual, breathing human. Mari always took the time to dote and take care of her, doing research on what kind of food she'll need and giving her plenty of entertainment through stories and TV time. The TV is a little different but she recognizes it as one that she's familiar with back when she was still alive so she grows comfortable in the hotel. The cartoons aren't familiar at all, though. In fact, the graphics don't match up with her memories period. It confused her. And scared her. After a few days and when she was able to start walking on her own, she asks Mari for a calendar as she's know when she died, she died on a holiday after all, she just needed to know what year it is. Mari does what they're told and brings her a calendar from the desk. She nearly drops it as soon as she reads the year. Hiro, she...she knew. She knew it's been years since she died. She saw how different certain things were as they traveled, how people's clothes had changed, the glimpses of different kinds of toys she never recognized, and the way people talked as she listens when she had nothing better to do when no one else can see her but Mari, Tomomi, and the occasional supernatural sensitive person. She just didn't realized it's been three whole decades.

And that is essentially Hiro's backstory, plus a few side notes on certain lore elements to explain what each term means in this world. There are certainly more elements to her story but I figured I'd cut off there in case I ever decide to actually sit down and write her story. Which won't be in her POV, at least not at the start since her revival is meant to be a mystery in the beginning as her childhood friend encounters her right in front of her own grave and freaks out, kickstarting the plot as he tries to figure out who, when, and HOW this even happened while Hiro keeps her mouth shut due to her own trauma, the struggle of realizing that everything that you were once familiar with and called home had changed drastically including the people you once knew cause they're now middle-age adults, and just overall figuring out if she even belongs in this new era or not despite coming from a past long since gone. Which she is dealing with all at once, with the depression and anxiety just a cherry on top behind her attempts to remain positive to an almost toxic extent (unless she's with Mari). It doesn't mean her cheerfulness is a complete facade, most of it can be genuine when she's taking things slow and can actually be very fascinated with the new technology that's surrounding her. It's just! A lot! To take in at once! To the point that she can sometimes feel a little bit alienated around others, including kids that are suppose to be her age.

Hiro is still an 80s kid before her death. She does not know what a smartphone is.

Due to the state of her own body, a.k.a. being a ghost, when Hiro used the Brooch of Life, it had to create an entirely new body of hers by scratch, which included the same clothes she had died in but without the dirt and scratches. So now there are two of her own bodies that exist in this world: the one that is buried in her grave that has long since decayed over the years, and the one she has now. As a result, Hiro is in a state of being alive but also dead. She can now grow older, which is what she wanted as she wanted to grow up and experience what it's like to be a teenager and an adult, something she never had the chance to do. But she also still has her ghost powers, from small bits of telekinesis to being able teleport (although this time she teleports through transforming into a swarm of butterflies and zipping over to the other side instant of being instantaneous) except for possession. There are also some side effects like her reproductive organs not functioning at all, something she learns much later down her life as a teenager. She's...actually upset about this since the thought of having her own family one day has crossed her mind a lot in her new life, so finding out that she can't have kids period was a gut punch to her. She's otherwise healthy, sure, but...that's cold comfort to her.

Her butterflies are parts of her soul, and she can "split" one off of her to fly into a location she can't appear in as herself. As a result, she can survey the nearby area, mapping it all out and eavesdropping on certain conversations without no one noticing. As long as they're not sensitive to the supernatural, at least...

Because these butterflies are a part of her soul, she has to bring those butterflies back to her body. If something were to happen to that butterfly, such as being crushed, she will feel the pain as if someone had actually attacked her physical body. Her body is actually quite fragile due to her state of being both alive and dead at the same time, so any pain or injuries she's sustained can easily become life-threatening.

It's a good thing that she has Mari with her, then, as they would more than willingly protect her with their life. However, after the incident with Tomomi and Hiro, and the Taint on their body, Mari has been struggling very hard to keep themselves in check. They are now paranoid of any threat that may be posed to Hiro, becoming overprotective of her and even becoming downright threatening with the intent of murder if someone so much as go near her. They want to keep their promise to Hiro, they really do. But due to their lack of experience and knowledge around humans outside of Hiro and Tomomi's memories, ones that are constantly overshadowed by their own deaths by a single man, they struggle to trust anyone at all except Hiro. Hiro recognizes that they're doing their best to help support and entertain her, though, and so she does her best to be patient, even when she's uncomfortable of the signs she sees in her friend.

Mari has the same powers as Hiro has, although they can actually teleport without needing to transform into something else, it's more or less instantaneous for them. This also includes her Time powers as they have inherited part of her soul (and Tomomi's when he had taken control of them), and can both rewind and freeze time like Hiro can. However, like Hiro, they cannot rewind time beyond an hour and can only freeze time for a minute. But unlike Hiro, they are far more creative in the use of this power, especially when in battle. And they can get quite merciless...unless they're in the mood to toy with their prey.

Yeah, prey. Due to the taint that Mari has, they are in danger of bursting into a demon. They're able to keep things the taint at bay for the time being, but they won't deny that the thought of gaining souls to become more powerful to protect Hiro isn't...tempting. But they know better than that. They know.

The butterfly pin Hiro has on her flat cap actually came from Mari. They totally didn't steal it.

Her new body also ended up being slightly different as the other half of her heritage becomes more apparent in her slightly pointed ears, her golden eyes that look a lot more like a clock, and the horns on her head. Yeah, she's not just wearing her hat for sentimental reasons, it's also to make sure no one sees the horns she has as she doesn't want to risk being made fun of or worse, be demonized. She's very uncomfortable about them as she doesn't know what to make of her new appearance anymore, wondering if this is what she gets for letting her brother go as far as he did...(She does not know that her grandfather and her father isn't human at this point...at least, not yet.) She also has a ton of scars on her body due to her past deaths and the reminders aren't! Great! She's really not happy with her body, but her friends don't judge her at all, simply expressing empathy for everything she's been put through. Hiro eventually comes to accept that this is what her body is now.

The reason why she comes off as creepy to others isn't because she is, but because the people she's trying to reach out to that are even remotely familiar with her are freaking out on the inside when they see their childhood friend, who's suppose to be dead, pop out of nowhere into their lives. Showing up at her own grave the very same day you were going to visit her with flowers? Oh God, I either finally snapped and started hallucinating or the supernatural IS real, time to run! Showing up at an author meet and greet and seeing her in the crowd, scanning a copy of her book that isn't really meant for kids? Very creepy as you try to act natural even when she asks questions when it's her turn to talk to you! Seeing her at a bridge with her against the railing while you're walking home? Okay, to be fair, that's a lot less creepy and more like, "Are you okay, kid?", even when there are alarm bells ringing in your head as you question if that's even your old friend or someone else entirely. Those are essentially the thoughts that are going through her three childhood friends' heads, and you can't really blame them since, uh, the dead aren't suppose to come back to life and they're not even sure if she's even the same Hiroko Arai they knew and cared about as kids. They do eventually get their answer as Hiro is indeed the same Hiro as before, but they were definitely trying to wrack their brains over what the hell is happening at the start since they don't know any of the context Hiro has, and Hiro hasn't exactly been open about it due to...everything she's dealing with right now. So at the start of story, the three of them get together, alongside Hiro who keeps insisting that she tags along despite them trying to tell her that they're doing "grown-up" things, start their investigations on the past, the murders, and what kind of insane supernatural things are going on right now, reforming their old bonds in the process as our main POV character has isolated himself from the friends he had left due to losing his best friends to the murderer, among other things.

I'm also just a sucker for the "grumpy middle-age adult that begrudgingly takes care of a sad child and the two of them healing over time together" except this time, it's an entire friend group pitching in to co-parent this child together, who also just so happened to be an old friend of theirs from way back then that came back from the dead.

One of the old friends 100% does the "board with red string" meme at some point.

While we never got around to finishing the stories we had planned out back then, I always saw the themes of this AU as, "Actions have consequences, ones that may end up affecting newer generations as time goes on," "don't let the past define you but also don't abandon it and pretend that it didn't happen," and, "breaking the cycle can be hard, but worth the effort for those you love and yourself, as you deserve a happier, healthier life like anyone else." A lot of shit may happen in these stories, especially to the characters...but they do get a happy ending out of all this, or at least a bittersweet one where everything isn't perfect, but they can still move forward to a new future together.

And with that, I'm finally done talking about Hiro. *lays down* I tried to cut down on my rambling but I have clearly failed on that. I clearly have a lot to say about Hiro, even now, and I do genuinely want good things for her. She's such a sweet kid that just doesn't know what the best course of action is, knowing something wrong but eventually growing scared of confrontation as she believes speaking up would only worsen her relationship with others. Even though it's not even her fault, some people simply won't stop until it's too late or never learn. She and Tomomi was essentially my version of the ghost kid(s) that haunted Marionette back when I first joined my friends on their little FNAF AU. And I think that was around when FNAF 4 came out. There's a lot to adjust for the story to separate itself from FNAF but I think I'm satisfied with what I came up with and shared for now.

Here's Hiro's design, btw.

Honestly, it's about time I shared this art of her. It's old but I still love how her design turned out...even if it's not completely accurate to the time period she came from but shhh. She gets to be cute and happy here. She needs that positivity in her life. Let's hope it doesn't border on toxic positivity. ^^;

OCs are a funny thing where you start off with this initial idea that you're pretty down for, but as you develop them a bit more and maybe even sit down to design them, you realize that they're giving off a different vibe or you come up with a different idea that seems more suitable for character. Bonus points if this is an old OC that you had when you were younger and they end up changing a lot over the years as you grow older and become more mature as both a person and a creator.

This is kinda what happened with my OC, Hiro, as she used to be this creepy kid that came back from the dead after a few decades and was okay with murder as a form of justice. But nowadays she's a kid that comes off as creepy when in reality she's just a depressed kid that's desperately in need of help and support in a time where everything had changed since she's been dead for a few decades and is struggling to adjust to the modern setting after reviving herself. And she hates murder in general now. Her concept was still technically the same, it's just the surrounding details about her that changed a lot.

(Interesting to know that Hitaru was going to be a lot more spoiled and like her parents since she's never been abused like the rest of her siblings. It would certainly hammer home the idea of continuing the cycle one way or another, but I like who Hitaru is now. She's so sweet and I wanted to destroy Mrs. Nijiue SO BADLY the more I learned about her and her husband.)

THAT'S LIKE,, THE FUNNIEST INSTANCES OF THIS HAPPENING the oc does a 180 and becomes the complete opposite of the idea you crested them for in the first place, absolutely insane.

Yeah if i had kept her as an asshole it would show how sometimes the cycle just can't be broken but i think she's much more interesting the way she is not because it's surprising? In a way? Like, this is the oldest of the Nijiue siblings and the one born with a natural talent for arts so you'd expect that she would be treated the best by the parents and take after them due to that but Hitaru has it just as badly as her siblings and took it upon herself to not be like the parents and help them in the only ways she could while being in such a terrible situation. It's a nice break of expectations i think

Akemi also charger quite a bit from my original idea for the character, she was a lot meane when i first created her for voidswap, but then Mod Bubbles picked the siblings up for Asoot and it lef to her becoming a much nicer and nuanced character which is really cool because i think that's the first time an oc of mine changed because of my friend's ideas rather than something stemming solely from me so that's fun

I guess we could include Beni in this list too, but also not really? Because Beni herself really hasn't had major changes to her character ever since creation, she's remained largely the same, i just added more and more stuff to her

Even her design has been pretty much the same ever since this first sketch lmao

The thing is that before she came into my mind i had this different idea for a character which was this girl who woked at the foundation's police division alongside Ryutaro and Keisuke and she was this scaredy cat type character that was always stressed and hated her job, but I wasn't super into the idea and the design i had in mind just looked a lot like Maki + i wanted someone that could have some form of connection to the Dra so cue to me remembering Kanata had a younger siblings and coming up with Beni after i checked the list just to be sure

(Also dude do you have posts of any kind about Hiro and whatever world she comes from? It's such an interesting concept I'd love to hear more about it 👀)

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction ││Ditches You For His BFF [Request]

A/N: @ateezskzboyz​ Hiya love! I went with a mixture of different scenarios for this so I hope you enjoy!!

Also as usual the girl is named Areum cause its the same female name I use for everything 🤡

Chans killed me to write 

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2022

⤜ MASTERLIST

CHAN:

Spending time with Chan had been harder than usual lately, if he wasn't working all night he was practising all day with the boys. You knew that the relationship was going to be work when you agreed to date him but you never knew it was going to get to this point. Barely seeing one another unless it was really early in the morning or extremely late at night. It was starting to get exhausting not getting to spend time with your boyfriend or even get to kiss him goodbye. 

"Is Chan with you guys?" You questioned Minho over the phone, looking around at the kitchen as you sighed to yourself. You should have known it was too good to be true when Chan said he would be here tonight. It was your anniversary and he had promised to come back home early, to spend the night properly with you. 

"No, he's with you...It's your anniversary. Don't tell me you forgot?" Minho laughed a little bit but when he didn't hear you laughing back with him he stopped and realised what was going on. Slowly getting up you blew out the candles and began to pack the food away into containers, at least you would have some leftovers for a while.

"Okay...If you see him or if you can get hold of him tell him not to bother coming home tonight." You mumbled, too annoyed with Chan to even think of letting him the house for the night. 

For months this had been going on and you figured he would have made an exception on your two year anniversary. To at least come home and spend some kind of time with you on the day you both began dating but it was too good to be true.#What annoyed you more was that while Chan claimed he was busy with the boys or work he wasn't. He was quite clearly elsewhere and with somebody else, you already knew who that somebody happened to be. His best friend Areum, the two of them had been close for years but ever since you'd stepped into the picture she'd made things difficult. 

Always taking Chan away from you or doing things to make you jealous whenever she was around. You did your best not to let any of it bother you but sometimes it was far too much to deal with especially when she made it clear she had deep feelings for Chan. But Chan was oblivious to all of it, he just saw her as nothing more than a friend and claimed you were reading too much into things. 

"You came back then?" You questioned as you felt the bed shift. You'd been trying to sleep for hours but you couldn't get your mind to shut off from what was going on.

"You rang the boys to find out where I was?" He questioned back at you, you could hear just how annoyed he was with the tone of his voice but you didn't care. You turned over, switching the bedside light on to look at your boyfriend who appeared to be more tired than usual. You doubted he had been getting much sleep with working and going to Areum every night.

"I wanted to see if my boyfriend was coming home to our anniversary dinner." You quipped, crossing your arms over your chest and staring at him. There was no facial expression that changed, it was as if he didn't even care that he'd blown you off once again to go and spend time with his best friend. 

"Maybe I was sick of being lectured about never coming home," You couldn't believe the words that had just come out of his mouth, you waited to see if he would say anything else but when he didn't you got up.

"Maybe you should go and be with Areum then." You grumbled angrily, making your way over to the cupboard to get yourself a spare blanket and pillow to go and stay in the guest room with. There was no way you were going to sleep in the same bed as someone who very clearly didn't want to spend time with you in the first place. 

"That's it! Walk away like you always do," He cried out as you walked out of the door, you dropped everything in your hands and walked back to stare at him. 

"I walk away? I'm not the one sneaking around with my best friend and missing out on my own anniversary Christopher!" You finally yelled out, having enough of the constant snide remarks and the digs about you.

"No, you're just acting like a clingy obsessive girlfriend! Who called the boys because you wanted to see where I am, god you're exhausting." The words hurt more than anything in your entire life, you were pretty sure a scooter to the ankle would have hurt a lot less than what he had just said to you. Tears began to gather in your eyes as you stared over at the man you thought loved you. 

"Get out." Was all you could muster the courage to say, too scared that you were about to break down into a puddle of tears if you said anything else. 

"Gladly!" He called out, grabbing a bag as he began to pack some clothes up into it. Your eyes glued onto him as you watched how easy it was for him to pack up his things, clearly this had been something he'd been thinking about for a long time. 

"Did Areum give you the clingy line? Or did you come up with it on your own?" Chan said nothing as he continued to pack, his shoulders tensing at the sound of Areum's name falling from your lips. 

"How often did you ditch me to go and be with her instead?"

"How many times have I told you she's nothing more than a friend?" You rolled your eyes at him looking up at the ceiling as you tried to stop the tears from falling down your cheeks, you couldn't believe how stupid he was being. 

"You're blind. All she's done since we got together is turn you against me but I guess she got what she wanted. She can keep her little puppy." You said the last word with so much spite you knew how badly he hated being called that, but it was what he acted like. Always loyally waiting for Areum no matter what, always going back to her like the loyal puppy he was. With that Chan left, slamming the front door on his way out as you sunk down onto the bed, staring down at your hands as you realised he was really gone this time.

MINHO:

"Changbin, if you don't put that down I will hit you with it." You whined as Changbin continued to wave around the underwear set in his hand. He was just short of holding them above his head and waving them around like he was Leatherface with a chainsaw. The two of you were out shopping together since Minho had decided to cancel on you at the last second. There was some kind of excuse about him being too busy to go shopping so you accepted it and decided to bring Changbin along instead.

"You bought me here, the least you can do is let me have some fun." He whined like a child, putting the underwear back down on the shelf and looking around the store. All you wanted was some company while you went to the mall, you didn't expect Changbin to be such a little bitch about it. All he had done was moan about having to come out so early in the morning and spend most of the day wandering around the stores. 

"Are you forgetting something?" You questioned your best friend curiously, raising your eyebrows at him as you turned to him. Changbin stayed silent as he stared down at the floor, 

"When I said I owed you, I meant like a meal...Not a shopping trip," He grumbled as you shook your head at him, grabbing some of the PJ's and new underwear set from the shelf. 

"You just said you owe me, I took what I could get." You smirked, nudging him softly as you both began to head down toward the next floor. Filled to the brim with men's wear since you liked to wear oversized clothes you figured it would be a good place to get some more shirts.

"They have new anime shirts in," You mentioned, pointing over to the wrack of clothes as Changbin's eyes seemed to light up this time, smiling at you. 

The two of you had been best friends long before you and Minho started dating one another and it had been a while since the two of you had gotten to hang out like this. 

"Your boyfriend is supposed to be the one that shops with you." Changbin reminded you as you both flicked through the shirts, trying to find one that you both liked the look of. 

"My boyfriend is busy, that's why you're substituting for him," You answered back with a smirk, shaking your head as you added a few shirts to your basket and looked at Changbin. 

"That means I have to be tortured? I'm going to have to tell him he's never allowed to be busy on my days off." He joked looking at you and frowning. Your eyes were no longer on Changbin but looking over his shoulder at something behind him. 

"What is it? More anime shirts?" He turned around with a giant grin on his face but it faded quickly when he saw Minho standing there with his best friend. Both of them standing awfully close to one another, Minho had a giant smile plastered across his face as he laughed at something Areum said. The two of them had been best friends for years and you knew that but it didn't stop your feeling a little jealous whenever you would see him with her.

"I thought he said he was busy today," Changbin trailed off as he turned back to look at you. Your eyes were glued to the shirt in front of you, doing your best not to tear up as you thought about Minho ditching you to spend time with Areum. 

The two of you would usually talk about everything, if he wanted to spend the day with her you wouldn't have minded if he was just honest about it. Instead of lying to you and going out with her, ditching you on the day he was supposed to be with you.

"I guess he got unbusy," You mumbled, not really in the mood to do any more shopping. All you wanted to do was go home and watch a comfort movie, Changbin could sense the shift in the atmosphere and nudged you gently. 

"Let's go pay and I'll buy us some food to head back to yours with." You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak as you both headed toward the checkout.

By the time Minho got home later that night, Changbin was gone and you were cleaning up the plates and bowls that you and Changbin had been using to snack with. 

"Busy day?" You questioned as Minho walked into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around your waist as he greeted you with a warm hug. All afternoon you had been wondering how you were going to speak to Minho about this, you wanted the truth out of him. 

"Very, I barely sat down." You looked down at the sink as you washed the dishes, 

"How's Areum?" You questioned with a short tone, not in the mood for him to lie right to your face about what he had been doing all day. None of this would have bothered you if he was just honest with you from the very beginning, instead he just ditched you to spend time with his friend. 

"How did you-"

"Changbin and I went shopping, I saw you." You finished washing the final plate and turned around to face him, drying your hands on a towel as he sighed at you. 

"I didn't think you would appreciate me telling you I was spending the day with Areum instead...But she needed a friend today," You nodded listening to him as you turned back to the sink. 

"I'm pissed you lied to me," You admitted, deciding to be an adult about everything and at least speak everything through with Minho rather than be short with him. 

"You could have just told me...It would have hurt a lot less." You spoke again, leaving the kitchen with Minho hot on your tail. Apologizing over and over again to you.

"Will you just tell me next time?" You turned to look at him with pleading eyes as you reach your shared room, he nodded at you. Quickly engulfing you into his arms as he promised to be honest with you the next time he planned on going out with Areum instead of you.

CHANGBIN:

Smiling to yourself you looked around the restaurant that Changbin had bought you to. It was inside but made to look as though it was in the middle of a forest. There were fake trees dotted between tables, all covered in fairy lights and lanterns hanging down from them.

"Binnie this place is beautiful," You whispered, still a little shocked that he had bought you to this kind of place. Usually, your dates were reserved for being at the dorms and watching movies on the sofa, not that you ever complained. Spending time with your boyfriend in any kind of way was the best feeling in the entire world to you and you weren't going to complain about what you did.

"Areum told me about it, she had a date here last weekend." You smiled at the mention of his best friends name. The two of them had grown up together and you loved how close that they seemed to be with one another, not to mention how close she tried to be with you. Areum always tried to make an effort to become friends with you, she never wanted you to feel as though you were being left out or replaced. In turn, you did the same for her. You didn't want her to think you were trying to take her place as the best friend, both of you could be Changbin's best friend at the same time. 

"Does she like this guy?" You questioned curiously, lifting the glass of water to your lips to take a sip but Changbin never answered you. He was staring down at his phone with a frown on his face, doing his best to hide that his phone was even in his hand in the first place. 

"Binnie?" You questioned concerned, reaching out to touch his hand that was on top of the table and he looked back at you, realising he hadn't been listening to what you said. 

"Huh?"

"Does she like the guy?" You repeated as he nodded his head, even though he knew it was a lie. Areum was texting him over and over again begging for his help, or to at least go to her and help her feel better. 

"Well...No, but it's okay." He locked his phone, sliding it back into his pocket as he did his best to ignore the constant buzzing from inside of his pants. 

Tonight was supposed to be about the two of you, Areum knew that since Changbin had told her again and again he wouldn't be replying to her most of the night. Tonight was a special occasion, it was the night he was finally going to ask the big question to you. You'd been dating for almost three and a half years and he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and you alone. 

The rest of the night seemed to be going really well, Areum had finally stopped texting Changbin and he felt as though he could relax. It was getting toward the dessert being bought out and he knew he had to be quick with what he was going to say to you. He had a huge speech planned before the slice of cake would be bought over with the question written in icing on the plate.

"Yn...I've been wanting to do this for a while now and-" He stopped speaking making you frown as you stared at him but he was staring over your shoulder. Standing there was Areum in drenched clothing, tears streaming down her cheeks as she called out for Changbin. 

"Oppa!" She whined loudly gaining the attention of those around you, all of them staring from Changbin to her, a few gasps were let out as well as a couple of comments you tried to ignore. 

"Areum..." Changbin warned as he raised from his seat, not bothering to excuse himself as he ushered Areum out of the way and toward the exit. You smiled weakly at people that were staring at you and stared down at the table, hoping this would all go away sooner rather than later but seconds turned to minutes and Changbin still wasn't back. 

"I-I think you have the wrong table, my boyfriend and I didn't order dessert." You explained as a waiter bought out a slice of cake to the table, your eyes staring down at the icing, 

"Will you marry me? ~ B" 

"We were instructed to bring it to you," With that the waiter left while you stared down at the words, running them over and over again in your mind while you waited for Changbin to come back.

Hours had passed and you were waiting at home for Changbin, sitting in the living room as you stared down at the plate from the restaurant. You'd paid for the meal, dipping deep into your savers since you hadn't realised just how expensive the place was and headed home. The waiter brought you the plate to take with you, you figured it was out of pity or some kind of sick joke to them all but you took it. Getting a cab home while you waited for your boyfriend to come home after he ditched you at the restaurant he didn't bother to text or call to let you know what he was doing or if he was even coming back.

"Yn." He breathed out as he walked into the house to see you, you could see just how stressed he was but you didn't care at that moment. All you could see was the man that had ditched you for his best friend with no explanation whatsoever.

"I bought you some cake." You mumbled as you got up from the sofa, watching as his eyes went to the plate and he sighed at it. He reached for your hand and pulled you close to him, 

"I should have called-"

"You should have." You mumbled back at him, looking at him as he looked at you with sadness in his eyes. 

"Areum was a wreck...It's not a good excuse but it's the truth...The guy she'd been on a date with stole her cards and so I spent the night calling her banks..." You hummed tiredly, not really in the mood to hear about anything and he pulled you into his arms. 

"I'll propose and I'll do it better, fancier." He promised but you whined moving away from him, 

"Changbin I would say yes if you asked me over pizza...I'm more pissed that you left without a word or a text...You left me there and I was a laughing stock." You stared at him as you backed away, frowning as you couldn't understand why he didn't see this as a big deal. 

"I know...I'm sorry...Areum is too, she begged to come over and say sorry to you but I figured I should first." Taking a deep breath you nodded your head at him, stepping forward to kiss him softly. 

"Can we talk in the morning? I'm tired," You admitted as you took his hand into yours, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed beside your boyfriend and sleep for the night so he agreed. 

HYUNJIN:

All week long you had been anxious about today, it was supposed to be a big day for you and Hyunjin if he bothered to answer his phone. Anxiety had been building up for days about today and Hyunjin reassured you day after day everything was going to be okay, as long as he was by your side.

"I'm sure he won't be long," You whispered nervously, glancing toward Hyunjin's parents both of them staring at you with a worried expression on their faces. Hyunjin had been there that morning with you, both of you preparing the house for their arrival when he suddenly dipped out of nowhere with no explanation for you. Kkami jumped up to sit beside you on the sofa as if he could sense how nervous you were about all of this.

Having Hyunjin's parents over to your first shared home was something you and Hyunjin were going to do together but with you alone it was awkward. 

"It's okay, we know how busy he can be." His mother explained with a small smile, you smiled back at her leaning forward to pour both of them some tea hoping Hyunjin would come back soon. He'd made sure to book the week off work, promising his manager that he would make back the time no problem. Your mind wandered to whether or not he'd been called in suddenly or if something had happened with the boys but you were completely lost. 

"I'll go and get some biscuits." You said as you excused yourself, making sure to take your phone so you could question the other boys on Hyunjin's whereabouts. 

Chan: Isn't he with you? He said he had that meeting with his parents...

You sighed knowing that he wasn't with the boys only worried you more and more. Where could he have gone in such a rush that morning? A part of you began to hate him for doing this to you, ditching you at the last second so that you were left with the awkwardness of trying to entertain his parents. Which you still had no idea if they liked you or not, Hyunjin and yourself had only been dating a few months and you worried they thought it was too fast or if they thought you weren't good enough. Hyunjin knew all of your worries and still decided to abandon you here with them.

The day had seemed to pass by slower than ever as you did your best to keep up conversations and speak with his parents the best you could. As the night grew closer they decided it was best if they headed home and to come back when Hyunjin wasn't so busy with other things. Hyunjin's parents were getting ready to leave when Hyunjin finally burst through the front door. Standing by his side was Areum who seemed a little upset about something. You knew Areum and Hyunjin were close friends, they'd practically grown up in one another's homes over the years treating each other like family. 

"Hyunjin? What happened?!" His mother asked in a panicked tone, turning to stare at her son who was panting heavily and sweating a little. It was now that you realised what might have happened and you felt a little guilty for hating Hyunjin for leaving you all day. Standing beside him was Areum who appeared to be shaking like a leaf, looking terrified of something that had happened.

"Areum had a problem and-"

"You went to help her? Oh, you're such a good boy!" His mother praised instantly bringing her son into her arms and hugging him tightly. You raced over to Areum, bringing her into the living room to get her a drink of tea and a blanket. It looked as if she was stone cold and yet sweating heavily. 

His parents finally left and you sat in front of Areum, trying to get her to speak to you but it was useless. Her eyes stared down at the floor as she shivered a little, despite wearing four blankets over her shoulders. 

"What happened?" You questioned Hyunjin who sat down beside Areum, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as he looked at you worriedly.

"She got into a fight with her boyfriend, I wouldn't have left if it wasn't bad...I-I'm sorry," You shook your head at him, none of that matter right now. All that mattered was making sure that his friend was okay because she looked sick.

"Did you guys run here? You're sweating," You looked at him as he nodded his head, 

"The car wouldn't start," He explained before going to get you all something to drink, meanwhile you sat beside Areum and did your best to comfort her in the best way that you could. 

"Do you want to shower? I have plenty of clothes you can borrow and you can stay as long as you need." You promised her as you began to rub her back gently.

JISUNG:

"Felix," You whined as he tried to convince you to start another dance routine but you were already drained and drenched in your own sweat.

"No, you promised we would dance." You laid down on the ground, your back against the cold floor of the dance studio staring at your best friend who had just said that to you. As if you hadn't just spent the better half of your day practising routines with him and trying to learn new TikTok dances for him to post on their TikTok account. 

"You say that as if I'm not covered in sweat and panting heavily...We've been doing this all day." You whined, closing your eyes as you tried to imagine yourself at home already. 

"My bed is calling me by my full government name," You joked, opening one eye to look over at Felix who sighed. The two of you were the best of friends ever since you began dating Jisung, whenever your boyfriend was busy Felix always made sure to make your day pass by faster. 

"You mean Jisung is," He laughed handing you a bottle of water as he sat down beside you, admitting that he wanted to go back to the dorms. 

"Jisung is busy lately, he and Areum are busy lately." You mumbled looking down at the bottle of water in your hands. For days now Jisung had been in and out of the house, excusing himself out of plans with you to help out his best friend.

Usually, it wouldn't bother you that much since they had been friends for years but it still hurt to know he would rather spend time with his best friend than you. Whenever you would offer to help them too Jisung would decline, telling you to focus on your own things and that everything would be fine.

"What do you mean?" Felix frowned, Jisung hadn't told them he had been busy with anything lately and usually they were the first to know everything besides you of course. 

"He and Areum, they're always together lately." Felix's frown didn't move from his face as he thought about it.

"With what? They didn't tell us anything." He said slowly as he tried to remember Jisung mentioning anything but there had been nothing. No conversation about Areum or Jisung ever coming into his mind.

"She's moving into a new place, he said he was helping." You shrugged it off but everything was still bothering Felix. Jisung hadn't even mentioned any of this the last time they spoke and he was beginning to worry if there was a reason for that. 

"I'll drive you home..." He said slowly as he got up from the floor, bringing you with him as you began following him out into the hallway. Felix ignored the boys as they called his name, he didn't have time to listen to them if what he thought was happening was in fact happening. All he needed to do was get you to your apartment as fast as humanly possible, without breaking the speed laws of course. 

"Why are we rushing?" You whined as you felt your legs beginning to tremble, Felix was practically pulling you into your own home with a worried expression on his face. Since the practice room he had barely uttered a single word in your direction as he focused on driving, not to mention planning Jisung's murder if what he thought turned out to be true. Giggling a little you went to question what the big deal was when you saw it,

"What's the big-" The giggling instantly stopped as you stared around your bare apartment. There was hardly anything left inside of it besides the furniture you had purchased and your clothes that were still hanging in the wardrobe. If you didn't know any better you would have thought you'd been robbed but the only items that were missing were what belonged to Jisung. 

"Felix?" Your voice cracked as you looked around at everything, moving further into the apartment to try and figure out what was going on but it was obvious. Jisung had left you without having the guts to tell you to your face what he was doing.

"Yn..." Felix trailed off as he noticed a small note sitting on the coffee table, his hands trembling as he picked it up to give it to you. 

 I didn't know how to tell you, I knew you would be busy today and so I figured it would be a clean way to do this. No fights. No yelling. Thank you for everything 

"Thank you for everything?" You scoffed screwing the ball up and throwing it down onto the floor but it didn't feel like enough. Anger was raging inside of you as you thought about him just leaving you, no conversation just leaving a note as if you were nothing to him. As if you hadn't spent the last year and a half together, planning your futures. He'd just tossed you aside as if you were an old pair of shoes, as if nothing you had together meant a single thing to him

"Y/n.."

"Did you know?!" You snapped angrily at Felix, turning to look at him as he turned a pink colour.

"No...I didn't, as soon as you mentioned her moving out I-I thought it was odd, Jisung had been looking for places before and I thought it was for you and him but I was wrong." The tone of his voice was seeping with pity as he stared at you, your mind finally clicking together who he had left you for and where he was. 

"He left me for Areum?" You questioned, your voice breaking as you sat down on the sofa. Imagining them both together all these months behind your back, your mind wandering to what they had been doing this whole time. Had he been seeing her while he was with you?

"Can you go?" You begged as Felix tried to come to comfort you, all you wanted was to cry alone you didn't need Jisung's band member to see you like this. 

"Yn...I don't think it's a good idea," You stared up at him as you teared up, tears already rolling down your cheeks as you tried to speak but Felix shook his head. Bringing you into a tight embrace as he did his best to comfort you, making a mental note never to let Jisung live this down.

FELIX:

Your eyes travelled around the room as you smiled at friends and family around you. There were banners strung up around the room celebrating your birthday, a full table of food and cakes displayed for everybody to eat. Some of the cupcakes you and Felix had been baking the night before were out for everyone to eat and it was perfect. 

"Thank you for this," You whispered to Felix, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades as you again began to glance around the room at everyone. It was one of the best days ever, you'd never really been one for having birthday parties but Felix had insisted on it this year. Deciding that he wanted to do something special to celebrate your birthday, promising that he would be the one to plan and prepare everything so that you didn't have to. 

"You don't have to thank me," He chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist and bringing you closer to him. You'd told him before that growing up parties hadn't really been a thing in your household and he wanted to do something to make it feel special. From the moment you'd woken up that morning, he'd treated you like royalty, bringing you breakfast in bed and waiting on you hand and foot. 

"I do, this is the single most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me." You whispered as you looked up at him, his eyes already staring down at you with a giant grin plastered across his face. 

"We should go and see the others, I think they all bought a gift for you," He ushered you over to the boys who were already gathering around a small gift table.

"Hey, birthday girl." Jisung greeted as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and begged you to open his gift first. Meanwhile, Felix seemed to disappear into the background, going onto his phone and ignoring what was going on around him.

The night was drawing closer to an end and everything had almost been perfect. 

Only almost because your boyfriend decided to ditch you at the last second. For the last hour, you had to listen to people making excuses for him because once again he had ditched you without so much as a text. One second he was there and next he was gone as if by magic.

"Chan, don't." You warned looking at the leader who had an apologetic look written across his face, none of them had even noticed Felix leaving the party. At first, Minho was convinced he'd just nipped out to get your gift but when an hour went by he began to realise that probably wasn't true. 

"Maybe he got caught in traffic," Seungmin suggested as you smiled weakly, doing your best to seem as though you weren't that bothered about being ditched on your birthday.  The truth was that this happened a lot more often than all of them though and every time you were just as surprised as the last. You knew where he was, of course, he was where he always was when he decided to ditch you, you just never expected him to do it to you on your birthday. 

"He's with Areum." You mumbled, taking your cup and drinking from it as you tried to imagine what would be so important that he would ditch you at your own party...That he prepared for. 

"Oh." The "Oh" that came from Chan was all you needed to know about it, Chan knew Felix like he knew the back of his hand which meant he knew how close Areum and Felix were with one another.

The night continued on until you were left with an empty house and a lot of cleaning up to do. Felix still hadn't turned up or called to let you know what he was doing. You guessed Areum was having a rough day or something but you figured you were still worth at least a text. 

"Where did everyone go?" His voice came from the door as you glanced over at him, a bin bag in your hand as you did your best to clear up everything that you could. 

"Home." You answered coldly turning back to the task at hand and ignoring as Felix rushed over to help you. Sighing to yourself you let him clean up and decided to move into another room, going into the kitchen to start on the dishes. 

"I can do that, it's your birthday you shouldn't-"

"Spend my birthday party alone with everyone feeling sorry for me? I know but my boyfriend ditched me at the last second." You felt guilty for snapping at him but you couldn't help it. All night long you had to deal with people looking at you and feeling sorry for you and it annoyed you to the highest of heavens.

"Babe," He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as you shook your head. 

"No, I get it. Areum is more important, don't sweat it. But next time you decide to ditch me for her at least give me a warning or a text." You mumbled harshly, brushing past him as you began to go and get ready for bed. Too tired to have a fight with him over something that clearly wasn't bothering him in the first place.

"Yn can we talk about it?" He questioned when he eventually came up to the bed, laying beside you and watching you as you tried to sleep. Not that you could, your head was too busy racing over everything that had happened.

"Why? It's only going to happen again and again...and again." You mumbled tiredly but this time Felix turned you to look at him, sighing as he saw tears rolling down your cheeks. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt you and it killed him to see how upset you were over this. 

"She needed help,"

"She always needs your help." You mumbled annoyed. It always seemed that whenever you and Felix had time alone together she would do whatever she could to take it away from you. Felix sighed as he brought you into his arms, laying his head to rest on top of yours. 

"I'll stop going so much...I-I'll text when I know she needs me." You nodded your head, not wanting to fight about it. The most you wanted out of all of this was for Felix to notice how it made you feel and you guessed he did now.

"C-Can we spend the day together tomorrow? Just me and you? No interruptions, no work...Just us?" Felix smiled a bright smile as he nodded his head, 

"I'll turn my phone off and we can do whatever you want," He promised, kissing the top of your head as you both began to fall to sleep cradling one another tightly. 

SEUNGMIN:

Your hands slowly ran down the white fabric of your dress, looking at yourself in the mirror as you took in a deep breath. This was going to be the single most amazing day of your life, you were going to start your married life with Seungmin.

Both of you were excited to see one another at the end of the aisle. It had been a week since you had last seen one another, deciding to spend a week apart to make the reunion that much more special. 

"Are you ready?" A voice questioned from the doorway, you smiled turning around to see Chan standing there. Dressed in a black tux with a giant smile on his face, he was happy to see his two best friends starting their lives together. 

"More than ready," You hummed, taking the small bouquet from the table beside the mirror and giving yourself one final look. You wanted to make sure that everything looked perfect for Seungmin and the guests that were waiting for you inside of the church.

"You look great, stop fretting." Chan chuckled as he walked into the room to stand behind you, looking at you in the mirror as you sighed a little. It would be a lie if you said you weren't nervous, of course, you were.

Going up in front of almost 250 people and marrying the love of your life, was nerve-wracking. All night long you had been going over your vows, again and again, wanting to make sure you had everything perfected before you spoke to Seungmin. You had wanted to go up and speak from the heart at first but as it got closer to the day you decided you wanted to tell Seungmin everything you had felt from him since the start of your relationship. 

"What if he doesn't like the dress?" It was impossible for Seungmin to hate the dress. It was perfectly suited for your body shape and had been designed by one of the best wedding designers in South Korea. 

"Seungmin would love you if you showed up in a bin bag while holding a bouquet of PuppyM dolls." Chan chuckled doing his best to set your mind at ease, taking your arm in his as he began to lead you out of the room. 

It was time for you to walk down that aisle and start the rest of your life with Seungmin but with each second you had a gut feeling. It was as if something was wrong and deep down you knew it. 

"Y/n?" Chan questioned as you stood at the doors, just beyond those were family and friends all waiting for you to get married.

"You ready?" He whispered as he felt your squeeze his arm in yours, you said nothing but gave him a silent nod of your head. Pushing the feeling down inside of yourself, convincing yourself that it was just your nerves.

The double doors opened and the music began to play and people gasped as they turned to look at you. Your eyes scanned over everyone else in the room, wanting to save Seungmin in his suit for last. The look on peoples faces wasn't what you had imagined when you pictured your wedding, people had mixed emotions. 

Pity, sadness and shock were the ones you spotted the most as you frowned. Eyes shooting up to the top of the aisle to see Seungmin was nowhere in sight. 

Instead, Jisung and Minho were standing there and it looked as though they had been addressing the room about something. Your eyes began to scan the room once again when you noticed the only other person missing from the room.

"He left with her..." Your voice came out in barely a whisper as you stood perfectly still. Chan held you in place as he frowned, completely confused as to what was going on around him. When he left Seungmin he was waiting for you, excited that he was about to marry you. 

"What?" His attention turned to you as you struggled to get your arm out of his grasp, desperately trying to flee from the room where everyone was staring at you. 

"Let me go," You begged in a whispered tone, staring at Chan who let you rush out of the room before he began to storm toward the boys and figure out what had happened. 

"He left with her," You whispered as Chan came back into your changing room. By now, the dress was discarded on the floor and you were sitting by the window of the church. Staring out at all of the guests who were leaving and mumbling amongst one another. It was something you felt stupid for not seeing coming, of course, he was in love with her. Who wouldn't be? His best friend happened to be one of the most beautiful girls in Korea, she was also the sweetest.

"Yn..." Chan said slowly as you turned your head to look at him, the same look the guests had been giving to you plastered across his face as you took in a deep breath.

"I should have seen it coming...I'm stupid." You laughed pathetically at yourself as you rose to your feet. Not looking forward to heading out of the church and in front of the fans and paparazzi that would be waiting for an explanation. 

"You're not stupid, no one saw this coming...Least of all you," Chan tried to reassure you as the other boys came to the door, smiling at you weakly. 

"Can you give me a lift Chan?" You questioned, grabbing your bag as you did your best not to cry in front of all of them. You were going to save your tears for when you were home alone, or at least until you saw Seungmin and he would collect his things.

Ultimately Seungmin sent the boys to get his things from your shared home and you never saw one another again. You figured it was for the best since you hated him for what he did to you, ditching you for his best friend in front of everyone.

JEONGIN:

As you climbed the stairs toward the boy's dorms you debated turning back around and going home again. Jeongin told you that he and the boys had all come down with some kind of Flu and you wanted to come and look after them. 

Today was supposed to be the day that you and Jeongin went out to dinner for his birthday but when he cancelled you knew something had to be wrong. The boy never missed out on free food and you wanted to come and make sure that all of them were at least looking after themselves properly. You had a key to the dorms and Jeongin always welcomed you coming and going as you pleased so you headed inside. 

Kicking off your shoes as you walked into the dorms, you expected to hear the odd mumbles from the boys but instead, you heard excited yelling and cheering. 

"Jeongin?" You questioned as you stood in the doorway to the living room. All of them were sitting on the sofa looking completely fine as they ate take out food and sat with Areum. Board games on the coffee table as they quite clearly celebrated Jeongin's birthday without you there. 

"Yn...I told you we were sick," Jeongin stumbled over his words as he struggled to get up from the sofa, making his way over to you but you stepped backwards. 

"You look fine to me." You grumbled eyes glancing over at Areum who was giggling to herself. You knew why you weren't invited to be here with them while she was here, she'd made it obvious to you that she wasn't happy about your relationship with Jeongin. The two of you hated one another and made it no secret to show everyone around you, while you tried to be civil she did not. Doing everything that she could to provoke you and make you explode so she could seem like the innocent one. 

"But I told you we were sick so why would you come around?" Did he not see everything wrong with that sentence?

"Why wouldn't I? My boyfriend was sick, of course, I would come around to check on him." Your blood boiled so much you were beginning to think it was lava but Jeongin still didn't seem all that bothered by everything. 

"Areum wanted to see me, I know you don't like each other so-"

"You ditched me on the day of our plans and lied to me so you could see her?" You hummed sarcastically, putting the bag of groceries down onto the floor, there was more than enough food for you than you needed so it would be a waste to take it with you. 

"There's enough there for a huge patch of chicken noodle soup, have fun." You grumbled not bothering to look back at him as you walked out of the dorms and went back to your apartment. Wondering how many times he had done this before? 

Thinking back on all of the times he claimed to be busy or sick, you wondered if he was really spending that time with her. It made you question every little action that had happened over the last year of your relationship.

"Don't you think a week of the silent treatment is enough?" Jeongin quizzed as you sat in the living room of your shared apartment, eyes glued to the screen as you pretended not to hear him speaking to you. Maybe it was petty and childish but you didn't care, you couldn't get the image of Areum and him together out of your mind. Both of them talking and meeting up behind your back just didn't sit right with you. 

"God, Areum said you would react like this. It's so childish!" The second her name left his lips you stood up and stared at him,

"Did she also tell you how paranoid I would be now? How I will sit and overthink every word you say to me? Every time you go out somewhere I wonder if you're really going out to see her," Jeongin stayed silent as you raised your voice, staring at you as you finally spoke to him. 

"Questioning whether or not you're really with the boys or if you're off with her...Do you know how many times I've sat and thought about this?" He didn't realise how much it was going to bother you until he saw you snap at him like this, guilt welled up inside of him as he looked at you. 

"I-I'm sorry...I didn't think about it," You rolled your eyes as you shook your head, 

"I wouldn't have been bothered if you just said you wanted to go and see her...She's your friend, I'm not going to stop you from spending time with her." As much as you hated her, you weren't going to tear apart a friendship because you couldn't get along. If Jeongin really wanted her as a friend he was more than welcome to, you weren't that insecure that he couldn't have friends. 

"She said you would fight with me over it..."

"And you believed her? Instead of asking me?" He could hear the pain in your voice and he sighed shaking his head as he reached out for your hand. 

"I'm sorry..." You hummed a little, sitting back down beside him as he moved closer to you.

"I'll make it up to you..." You looked at him as he smiled at you, promising that he would do whatever it would take for you to trust and forgive him.

⤜ MASTERLIST